erasure Archives | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “…”love wins/love is love” can be kind of alienating…”

September 19, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: I just had a eureka moment when looking at your recent reblog of a post on how “love wins/love is love” can be kind of alienating… As an aro ace, the whole “love” angle is definitely implicitly exclusionary. The core of my being aro ace is that I DON’T love anyone That Way, and community rhetoric consistently fails to reflect that. Not to mention that I find the “twoo wuv” thing eye-roll-inducing at times. Your thoughts? ( re: this post ) i agree that in addition to ignoring, excluding and / or alienating trans and non-binary people, as pointed out in the OP, such rhetoric also ignores, excludes and alienates those for whom “love” (be it in the traditional, romantic sense or at all) is not a thing– or at least, is not The Thing that defines their connection to the LGBTQIA community. such rhetoric posits love as some…

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Vesper H.

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identity politics leave little room for agency; a thought.

July 21, 2017 / No Comments

i don’t know why, but it only just occurred to me that in referring to myself as a “queer ace”, as i sometimes do, i may be inadvertently giving off the impression that i don’t think that aces are inherently queer…? that “queer” modifies my aceness rather than encompasses it…??

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Vesper H.

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June 12, 2016
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Q&A: “is there a sexuality between straight and bisexual?”

July 6, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: is there a sexuality between straight and bisexual? coz i used to think i’m straight but now i’m a bit attracted to girls??? maybe i’m simply just bi-curious??? if you mean is there a word for being primarily attracted to people that society has decided are “the opposite” gender from you, but occasionally / fleetingly / sporadically / spontaneously being attracted to people society has decided are “the same” gender as you, heteroflexibility, bi-curiosity and bisexuality come to mind. heteroflexibility is probably closest to the word that you’re looking for, but at the same time i hate to see bi-curiosity being dismissed as being “simply just” anything like this. society as a whole has this ridiculous tendency to be dismissive of bi-curiosity and people who feel a tie to this word, with such bullshit quips as “everyone’s a little bi!” similarly, people are quick to decide that someone isn’t bi…

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Vesper H.

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“love languages”?? communication tool.
May 1, 2019

“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018

「やがて君になる」/ “Yagate Kimi ni Naru”: an aro/ace coded, sapphic ‘love story’…?
October 8, 2018
[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A not Q&A: “Have you seen that post going around saying the being asexual is a modifier not an orientation?”

June 18, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Have you seen that post going around saying the being asexual is a modifier not an orientation? It also seemed to imply that asexuality is a choice? I’m really tired of misinformation about asexuals being spread around. …mmm, no i have not seen the post in question, but a quick search has brought up this post (warning: offensive ignorance is offensive) that i’m guessing might be the one you’re referring to…? was posted about 20hrs ago (i received this ask 4hrs ago) and yet has somehow already amassed 200 notes without a single critic of its content in sight. the spreading of misinformation (maliciously or not) is annoying indeed. that said, i just so happen to be Apathetic As Hell about what others think and am very confident and comfortable in my identity as an asexual, so it’s pretty easy for me to not give a damn about…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 50 – Biphobia x Non-Binary Erasure x Binarism || Bi Non-Binary People Exist

June 12, 2016 / No Comments

everyone experiences the intersection(s) of their gender and their sexuality in different ways, but i’ve seen little thought or attention given to how a biphobia affects bi non-binary people even within bi communities, despite the fact that non-binary erasure and binarism often occur hand-in-hand with biphobia. in this video i give air to three (3) of my biggest frustrations or ‘pet-peeves’ regarding intersections of biphobia, non-binary erasure and binarism that i experience both within and outside of the LGBTQIA+ community. ========JUMP SPOTS ========== @ 01:00 ~ 1. insisting on defining bi(sexuality) as attraction to both / two genders hint: some bi people define their bi identity in this way and that is entirely valid, however these definitions are no longer the most common ones among bi people for reasons. @ 03:55 ~ 2. claiming that bi(sexuality) is inherently binarist hint: stop using the existence of non-binary people as a means…

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Vesper H.

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non-binary gender norms & (a)sexuality: yeah, no.

March 28, 2016 / No Comments

the following post was originally a vlog that was submitted for the March 2016 Carnival of Aces based on the theme “Gender Norms and Asexuality.” check out The Asexual Agenda’s Carnival of Aces Masterpost for more information. a lot of people feel like there is a connection between one’s gender and sexuality, be it in the form of gender roles, “gender presentation”, sexual attraction (or lack thereof) et cetera ad infinitum. having said that, i’m not going to lie… i really don’t get it.

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Vesper H.

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QAC 48 – Non-Binary Gender Norms & (A)sexuality: Yeah, No.

March 27, 2016 / 1 Comment

for many the intersection of gender identity, gender norms and sexuality is complicated, to say the least. so what happens when the world doesn’t even know that your gender identity exists? when there are literally few, if any, gender norm associated with your gender? when your sexuality itself is as invisible as your gender identity and non-existent gender norms? welcome to Vesperland, where even the most complicated of things somehow manages to become even more complicated. this video is a submission for the March 2016 Carnival of Aces based on the theme “Gender Norms and Asexuality.” to find out more, check out The Asexual Agenda’s Carnival of Aces Masterpost. …has anyone ever submitted a video for the Carnival of Aces? hmm… this video will be accompanied by a text version that i’ll post tomorrow, but please don’t let that stop you from watching the video. i’ll add captions to the…

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Vesper H.

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Dear White People: About “People of Color” (POC)

December 23, 2015 / No Comments

this is post is the blog version of a vlog that i recently posted to my YouTube channel. the content is essentially the same, but feel free to check out both. as you can probably tell by the title, this is going to be a rant. that said, i hope that something can be learned from it. why have i titled this “Dear White People”? even if white people aren’t solely guilty of what i’m about to talk about, i’m calling out white people specifically because i see white people of various countries doing this far more than anyone else. if you yourself are white and you consider yourself to be an ally to people of color, this post was written specifically for you.

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Vesper H.

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QAC 44 – Dear White People: About “People of Color” (POC) | A Rant

December 20, 2015 / No Comments

i’ve long since had issues with how some people, specifically white people, repeatedly misuse the term “People of Color” (aka “POC”). at long last i’m finally putting my frustrations into words in the hope of bringing awareness to these issues. in the interest of being as brief as possible, in this video i’ve summarize my issues regarding white people’s usage of this term into two points: treating POC as if they are a homogeneous group. ( @00:29 ~ ) treating whiteness as if it is the default not only in one’s own country, but internationally. ( @4:12 ~ ) obviously when people who consider themselves to be allies to POC make such mistakes the mistakes are honest ones with no ill intent behind them. however, that does not change the fact that mistakes are being made and that these mistakes should be corrected. if you consider yourself to be an…

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Vesper H.

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on today’s episode of #ConversationsWithMom….!

November 28, 2015 / No Comments

….so i just had another one of those crazy conversations with my mom (and my sister who was eavesdropping and repeatedly butting in) about sexuality that stemmed from her finally watching a documentary that i’d sent her about LGBTQ people in the black church. i mean seriously, it lasted over an hour and was all over damn place, so i’m not going to try to rehash what was actually said, but the highlights were: mom is still of the mindset that sexual orientation is a choice. she refuses to distinguish between sexual attraction (i used the word “chemistry” with her because she seemed to get that) and sexual behavior/actions one decides to take (or not take). ugh. both mom and my sister think that “everyone is bisexual” because everyone could choose to have sex with someone of the same gender if they wanted to. bi erasure runs in my family, apparently. mom…

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Vesper H.

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