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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [A]sexuality,  Black[ness],  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    “You are freaking perfect how you are.”

    June 19, 2018 / No Comments

    content warning: homophobia, suicidal ideation …so, my sister sent me this video out of the blue today. she often sends me links to all kinds of random, obscure videos from the depths of YouTube, to the point that i didn’t bother clicking the link until hours after she’d sent it, thinking it to be another one of those videos. needless to say, i was pleasantly surprised. my appreciation of this video is beyond words. <3

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    Vesper H.

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    *scribble scribble*

    September 15, 2016

    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2016 musings

    May 15, 2016

    QAC 06 – Coming Out as a Panromantic Asexual

    June 1, 2013
  • [A]sexuality,  Feedback,  Q&A

    Q&A: “How exactly would I ever come out [as asexual] to my parents?”

    October 15, 2017 /

    anonymous said: This is random but haiii , i just wanted to stop by and say you are amazing.. You helped me a lot with my sexuality(Asexual) and I would like to thank you ^~^ but I do have one question.. How exactly would I ever come out to my parents? ohai, anon. thanks for the kind words. 🙂 also, sorry about my slow response, especially if you were hoping for a reply ahead of National Coming Out Day. i can’t tell you how exactly to come out to your parents. the question of if you should even come out at all and if yes, when? how? where? etc is entirely up to you. not everyone comes out to their parents for various reasons and it’s important that you give due consideration as to whether you should come out to yours or not, not just how to do it. remember that…

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    Vesper H.

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    custom shirt

    October 13, 2013

    QAC 48 – Non-Binary Gender Norms & (A)sexuality: Yeah, No.

    March 27, 2016

    1978 Call Out Culture Is Fierce…! lmao

    November 26, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I feel like im going to cry I told my mom im ace…”

    October 27, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I feel like im going to cry I told my mom im ace by saying it casually sorta in a convo, she said no im not and said when I go back to the doc (my anxiety/psychologist doc) she would bring it up and “fix me” im frustrated and Sad sorry for venting? a million and one internet hugs, anon, if that’s something you’re okay with. i’m really sorry your mom responded in such a horrible way. she obviously doesn’t even understand what it is that you told her or how much trust you’d put in her in deciding to even tell her at all… i hope that your doctor is more educated on the subject of (a)sexuality than your mom is and realizes that a person’s sexuality is not something that can be or even need be “fixed.” either way, i sincerely hope that your mom starts putting…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 51 – #ProudToBe Black Non-Binary Bi Pan AND Asexual

    June 22, 2016

    QAC 22 – LGBTQ J-Magazines: Garçon Girls + Novia Novia

    February 10, 2014

    『[4コマ]☆ノンセクシュアル☆』

    May 25, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    re: …outted again?

    August 10, 2016 / No Comments

      thanks everyone for the kind, supportive replies to the above post. it means a lot. <3 as a sort of update… i ended up emailing him (because calling would have been too awkward) and finally, after tap dancing around the issue by joking about him spying on me, we had one of those extremely-rare-between-us conversations about something serious. my dad, a man of relatively few words, caught me totally by surprise. me: i saw you followed me on Twitter using a newer account than the old one that had been following me. trying to get back into Twitter? dad: No I just signed back in to the account. Just never looked at it much.  That’s all. Is that why you thought I was spying on you? me: ….i was joking but yes. 😛 dad: No I’m not spying sweetheart.  And you’re old enough to feel how you want.  I’ll always be…

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    Vesper H.

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    ?Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2017: Parade & Ace Meetup

    April 29, 2017

    …mmm, so.

    March 24, 2017

    Japanese gender / queer theory, anyone?

    May 22, 2017
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “[mom’s] been telling me is that if I really am trans, I would’ve known since I was little.”

    October 29, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I came out to my mom yesterday as trans, and I kind of regret it. all she’s been telling me is that if I really am trans, I would’ve known since I was little. she’s telling me it’s probably just a phase and that I need to talk to someone. she seems really set on it, as if it’s just a problem to be solved. she told me I’m probably having an identity crisis. I don’t know what to do anymore, and I feel invalid. was I really supposed to know from a young age? it very much sounds like your mom is currently struggling with denial and grief, which is really common when a child comes out to their parent(s). she’s basically projecting her own feelings onto you, desperately hoping that she’s right. she’s telling you the same things she’s telling herself in an attempt to cope…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [Random] Thoughts

    cautious optimism: yet another conversation with mom

    September 27, 2015 / No Comments

    for those who don’t know, i stopped talking to my mom back in July. the situation with my mom evolved over a long period of time and i’ve talked about it twice on YouTube. [ 1 + 2 ] well, today i want to say extremely tentatively that it seems like some progress has been made in terms of restarting our relationship. i’m trying really, really hard not to be overly optimistic because if i’m wrong and things fall apart again, it will hurt all the more if i let my guard down and allow myself to be happy now. (tl;dr below) in recent weeks prior to today mom has made attempts at contacting me with such conversation starters as “help me understand.”, “what is it you want me to say?” and “i’m taking your sister to the ER so i thought i’d message you (ie: please talk to me).” aside…

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    Vesper H.

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    May 11, 2017

    adventures in Japanese TV: “haafu”

    September 1, 2016

    whiteness as default

    December 10, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 37 – Forced Out of the Closet: 1.5 Years Later (Non-Binary Asexual)

    June 16, 2015 / No Comments

    it’s been nearly a year and a half since i was outted to my ultra religious mom as a non-binary, panromantic / biromantic asexual. things have been, and continue to be, rough between us at times… that said, there has been progress. it took well over a year, but she’s now making an effort to come to terms with part of my sexuality….? meanwhile continuing to completely reject my gender. thus far, the road to acceptance and understanding has been long and hard; sadly, as of now, that road still has no end in sight. ——— LINKS ——— QAC 13 – Staying In The Closet → https://youtu.be/NDyEAyNxoEg QAC 23 – Being Forced Out of the Closet → https://youtu.be/HStZgJ4Ewm8 snippets of conversations with my mom: → http://queerascat.tumblr.com/tagged/conversations-with-mom —————————–

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    Vesper H.

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    my collection…

    March 7, 2013

    Black Mirror: “San Junipero”

    July 6, 2017

    Re: “”Visibility””

    September 18, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 23 – Being Forced Out of the Closet (Bi/Panromantic Non-binary Asexual)

    February 24, 2014 / No Comments

    long video is ridiculously long. sorry about that, but i had to vent somewhere. ====== NAVIGATION ===== @00:00 – and the story begins @04:46 – “i’m asexual.” @10:02 – “imma watch all your obviously private videos!” @14:06 – “don’t worry, everyone’s like that!” @17:05 – “omg stop saying that.” @22:00 – patience is golden @24:32 – her head didn’t exploded ====================== TL;DW: my mom found this channel and saw videos that i never wanted her to see and wasn’t ready for her to see. shit sucks. BUT my mom is doing her best with what she’s found out, which is good… even if her best is painful. anyway, patience patience….. and all that jazz. the cat’s out of the bag and is managing well enough thus far. hopefully time won’t make the cat regret being out of the bag…………… and i forgot to mention in the video that my mom…

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 01 – Introduction

    May 11, 2013

    …one of many examples of why navigating セクマイ / LGBTQIA spaces in Japan can be painful at times.

    October 7, 2016

    Burnt Out & Neurotic: The Toll of Blogging While Ace and Mentally Ill

    December 26, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 06 – Coming Out as a Panromantic Asexual

    June 1, 2013 / No Comments

    i’m soooooo sorry for this video being so long. i clipped out as much as i could while still maintaining what i think may benefit someone. things discussed in this video (in order): – coming out while in a relationship – coming out more than once – coming out to religious family – dealing with serious illness while coming out – whether or not to come out at all it’s funny because after recording this i ended up coming out to my doctor (GP)… THAT was an interesting experience for sure… wish i had gotten it on video lol. it went pretty well considering who it was. afterwards i made an apointment for a piercing with rainbow-colored jewelry to celebrate the past year and to kick my gender dysphoria in the ass. what a day. this was originally made for Askapansexual, a collab channel i’m a part of, but i…

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    Vesper H.

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    comments on my “QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like” video.

    November 26, 2015

    QAC 04 – Why I Identify as Panromantic & Biromantic

    May 24, 2013

    allo by default: hypocrisy in “aspec” spaces

    February 25, 2017

VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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