asexuality Archives | Page 6 of 12 | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “What are your thoughts on the ‘ace discourse’?”

July 23, 2016 / 1 Comment

anonymous said: Hi! I really like your blog, and I’ve seen a few of your videos, you’re really cool and you helped me a lot on understanding my identity. I wanted to ask you, but of course you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, what are your thoughts on the ‘ace discourse’? hello and thanks for the kind words. 🙂 i’m going to be a bit pedantic and ask what exactly you’re referring to when you say ‘the ace discourse’ because i feel like this phrase is being used to refer to a lot of different (although related) stuff that’s been going on on Tumblr for a while now. do you mean how some people insist that inclusion in ‘the LGBT community’ is based on oppression? that aces aren’t oppressed at all? that aces are oppressed, but not for being ace? do you mean how some people insist that…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’m asexual, and for months have been trying to figure out if I am biromantic or panromantic…”

July 13, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hello! I’m asexual, and for months have been trying to figure out if I am biromantic or panromantic, yet I can’t seem to make sense of it. I also noticed you used all three terms, minus the ‘-romantic’ suffix. Would you be willing to talk about how those three connect for you, even just briefly? Thank you, and I hope you have a wonderful day/night. hi. 🙂 how being bi, pan and ace connect for me, eh…? mmm… well, the short and simplified way that i usually go about explaining my sexuality to people is that i am (have the potential to be) attracted to people of any gender, but that attraction is never sexual. …and unless the person in question responds to that with further questions or i feel like going into more detail than that, i usually just leave it at that because i think that’s as…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016

“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018
[A]sexuality, Mental [Un]health, Queer[ness]

reflecting back on years of consent without information about asexuality

July 11, 2016 / 1 Comment

content warning: mentions of sex and abuse; talk of consent issues. this is the second of what has now become three posts that i’m writing about my personal experiences with sexual abuse / violence and consent issues, the first of which can be found here. this post focuses on how my ability to consent may or may not have been affected by not knowing about the existence of asexuality prior to consenting to sex in past relationships. even though there are those who insist that consent is as simple as “yes” or “no,” that there is no gray area involved– you either consented or you didn’t– for lots of people consent can be more complicated than that. in my time on Tumblr, various posts have come across my dashboard on the topic of consent and/or agency, specifically in the context of being asexual. sometimes when i read one of those posts, some…

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Vesper H.

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March 12, 2018
[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “…the way mainstream media sexualizes wlw relationships so dramatically is making it really hard for me to figure out…”

July 3, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi. I’m pretty sure I’m bi, but I’m on the ace spectrum and the way mainstream media sexualizes wlw relationships so dramatically is making it really hard for me to figure everything out. Does anyone else struggle with this? How do I get past it? i can’t speak for anyone else but myself, but at the same time i am fairly certain that many people (ace spectrum or not, woman themself or not) struggle with the hypersexualization of women in general in the media and trying to figure out one’s own feelings in spite of that hypersexualization. however, you’re not just anyone. trying to figure out your feelings in the midst of all this hypersexualization as a woman loving woman (wlw) yourself (or so i assume; apologies if i’m wrong) makes the stuff in the media feel all the more potent and difficult to navigate, i think. wlw…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “That’s part of the reason why I so strongly hold onto “queer” as one of my labels!”

June 29, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: That’s part of the reason why I so strongly hold onto “queer” as one of my labels! I identify under both the ace and aro umbrellas, but it’s weird and hard to explain and trying to say I’m bi/pan/poly/etc (even without -romantic) carries that weird connotation that doesn’t fit me. I actually think you just managed to put my feelings into words??? I’m having an epiphany and I need to go think about this more. (re: this post) i know right? i’m also very fond of ‘queer’ as a word and identity and identify strongly with it. sometimes i refer to myself as a ‘queer asexual’ rather than as a ‘bi / pan asexual’ for the sake of brevity and/or to avoid assumptions, depending on the situation and who i’m talking to. whenever i do that, ‘queer’ isn’t acting as a replacement for ‘bi’ or ‘pan’, but rather as yet another…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Would you mind explaining how you feel in regards to your bi identity?”

June 28, 2016 / 1 Comment

anonymous said: I have a question. I saw your post about how you find it a but annoying that people either assume you’re bisexual or bi romantic, when you always just say bi. And I’ll admit that since you are also asexual my first reaction was to assume you were biromantic, I’m sorry. But it confuses me a little. Would you mind explaining how you feel in regards to your bi identity? It’s okay if you don’t want to! I’m just trying to understand (in response to this post) first off, even though i felt a need to vent about it because it is annoying, i want to point out that i’m not offended or angry when someone misreads my bi identity, especially if they’re understanding when/if i correct them. there are so many reasons why a person would automatically read “bi” as either bisexual or biromantic that it almost…

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Vesper H.

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“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018

Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
[A]sexuality, Gender[queer], Queer[ness], YouTube[r]

QAC 51 – #ProudToBe Black Non-Binary Bi Pan AND Asexual

June 22, 2016 / 1 Comment

for those who don’t know, YouTube is currently spotlighting videos by LGBTQIA creators expressing their Pride in who they are using the #ProudToBe hashtag. i thought i’d jump on the bandwagon and add some encouraging words and visibility / representation for people like me. as the video description says, YouTube joined forces with many popular LGBTQIA content creators on its site to release the #ProudToBe spotlight today. inspired by others’ videos, but also pissed off by the public’s response to the hashtag / spotlight, i decided to make this impromptu video upon getting home from work. it’s not great, but might as well throw my face out there too, eh? as i mentioned, the public’s response to the hashtag / spotlight has been especially severe… trolls have been out in force like never before, spamming everything from the comments section of YouTube’s spotlight video itself to the comment sections of literally…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “Have you seen that post going around saying the being asexual is a modifier not an orientation?”

June 18, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Have you seen that post going around saying the being asexual is a modifier not an orientation? It also seemed to imply that asexuality is a choice? I’m really tired of misinformation about asexuals being spread around. …mmm, no i have not seen the post in question, but a quick search has brought up this post (warning: offensive ignorance is offensive) that i’m guessing might be the one you’re referring to…? was posted about 20hrs ago (i received this ask 4hrs ago) and yet has somehow already amassed 200 notes without a single critic of its content in sight. the spreading of misinformation (maliciously or not) is annoying indeed. that said, i just so happen to be Apathetic As Hell about what others think and am very confident and comfortable in my identity as an asexual, so it’s pretty easy for me to not give a damn about…

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Vesper H.

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『[4ｺﾏ]☆ノンセクシュアル☆』

[A]sexuality, [Random] Thoughts, Japan[ese], Queer[ness]

『[4ｺﾏ]☆ノンセクシュアル☆』

May 25, 2016 / 1 Comment

…so this has been going around on Japanese Twitter. about to pass out, but wanted to put a link to this here with a little blurb reasonably-contained-imho rant for my own future reference because this is personally relevant to me.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “what’s the deal with the fact that lesbian folks get mad if you headcanon characters as ace?”

May 25, 2016 / No Comments

titanium-star-bisexual said: hey vesper? sorry to bother you with this again, especially when we kinda already spoke on it, but now people have started getting offended and attacking me for my head canons in my inbox. i wanted to ask if you knew what the deal is with the fact that lesbian folks get mad if you headcanon characters as ace? i thought a person could be both at the same time? ? im just not sure what to do because they are really getting angry. any pointers? hi. 🙂 you’re never a bother, so no worries. but aahhh, i feel like i’m the wrong person to be giving any kind of pointers on how to deal with fandom backlash. i do not involve myself in any kind of fandom, largely in part because i do not want to deal with this kinda stuff. as such, i have zero…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016

“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018