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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 54 – Confusing Gender Envy & Admiration with Attraction || Non-Binary | Asexual

    October 10, 2016 / No Comments

    it’s come to my attention recently that some feelings that i assummed were attraction may have not been attraction at all, but rather “gender envy” or “gender admiration”– feelings of admiration or envy towards someone else’s gender be it their self-expression, gender identity, (lack of) gender roles or socially imposed gender norms– anything pertaining to a person’s gender. never heard of gender envy or gender admiration before…? i’m not surprised, since i just pulled the terms out of my ass for lack of a better way of referring to these gender feels that i’m attempting to navigate. as someone who’s both non-binary and asexual i feel like both of these things have played a part in me mistaking gender envy / admiration for attraction. this is something that i’m just now beginning to give thought to, so please bear with me as i stumble around trying to talk about things.…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    comments on my “QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like” video.

    November 26, 2015

    QAC 50 – Biphobia x Non-Binary Erasure x Binarism || Bi Non-Binary People Exist

    June 12, 2016

    …so this happened at TRP today.

    May 7, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Do you have any dating advice for a fellow ace person?”

    October 10, 2016 / No Comments

    aarusiel said: Hey, Vesper. Do you have any dating advice for a fellow ace person? I feel like all I ever do is end up hurting the other person because I can’t meet their needs sexually. Is it better to just not date?   …i’m afraid that i’m probably one of the least suitable people to answer this question for a variety of reasons. that said, i don’t think that there’s any reason for you to not date. when it comes to any kind of relationship, a big part of avoiding false expectations and assumptions that can lead to hurt feelings– and make no mistake, it’s that (imho) that’s the cause of the other person’s hurt feelings, not you being unable to compromise yourself for them– is communication. if you talk to each other and you make your boundaries clear (which can be done without actually coming out as ace,…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “do you happen to know any cool aro/ace history?”

    September 26, 2016 / No Comments

    nohelpwhatsoever said: while on the subject of that “know your bi history” comic post, do you happen to know any cool aro/ace history? i actually haven’t come across any historical aces who aren’t linked to religious celibacy :/   (re: this post) i’m afraid that i’ll be of no help whatsoever (get it?) when it comes to history… of anything, really. history was always one of my least subjects in school because i can barely remember the events of my own life, let alone those of other people’s lives etc… that said, you’re in luck because some people are actually into (and good at) history– more specifically, ace history. i haven’t come across much in the way of aro history, sadly… in terms of ace history, though, definitely check out @historicallyace and their #history tag in particular to find a treasure trove of information about ace history in general. there’s…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Queer[ness]

    did not expect the response that i got…

    September 25, 2016 / No Comments

    so… i totally did not expect the response that i got to this post about my own personal journey regarding sexuality (and gender, but that post wasn’t focused on gender) and how that journey is very much connected to my queer identity. interesting. the post was entirely about myself and my own experiences, but judging by the number of notes on the posts and the tags that people have reblogged it with, there are a lot of people who can relate to it…? i know that that probably shouldn’t be all that surprising, but it is a happy surprise nonetheless. i’ve seen posts going around (none of which i can find right now because i didn’t reblog them, apart from this one) saying that people who experience multiple gender attraction (mga), trans people and non-binary people are especially likely to identify as queer. i can only imagine that the odds…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    …one of many examples of why navigating セクマイ / LGBTQIA spaces in Japan can be painful at times.

    October 7, 2016

    パレードの皆さん、お疲れ

    April 26, 2015

    custom shirt

    October 13, 2013
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Japan[ese]

    otsukaresama deshita!

    September 18, 2016 / No Comments

    [cross-posted in part to Ace Spec Japan] had a great time at the ace meetup today. there was a great turn out and it was nice to see some new faces. it’s amazing to see how much the group has grown in 3 years, especially since it’s mostly happened via word of mouth and Tumblr. personally, i always enjoy the stimulating conversations (and rant sessions) that are much harder to have with most Japanese people for various reasons…. looking forward to the next meetup! although at this point, i’m not sure when that’ll be. hoping that i’ll be able to visit the Kansai area sooner than later and organize a meetup down there as well because it feels rather… unfair? that all the meetups and such have thus far only be held in Kanto, which is out of reach for some. plus i just really want to visit Kansai, damnit. oh…

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    Vesper H.

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    1978 Call Out Culture Is Fierce…! lmao

    November 26, 2018

    fuck your Oppression Olympics

    September 15, 2016

    Re: Yuri!!! On Ice & that annoying thing that anime & fandom does

    December 14, 2016
  • Feedback,  Q&A

    Q&A not Q&A: “i’m nonbinary and i’m also aro/ace. i no longer WANT to be part of [the LGBT] community…”

    September 15, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: okay sorry for dragging this in here, but. i’m nonbinary. and ppl have been saying that nb ppl ARE lgbt+. but here’s the thing: i’m also aro/ace. i no longer WANT to be part of that community, even if i “qualify” bc at the end of the day, they still don’t want me there. they may be accepting of my identity as nb, but that would mean ignoring my identity as aro/ace. if i’m gonna be accepted somewhere, i want to be accepted for all of me, not just part. just my 2 cents. hello anon, i feel you on this. i really do. as a non-binary, bi / pan ace i’ve also been faced with people wanting to selectively choose what part of my “counts” or is “valid reason” for me to be included in something. like you, i am of the stance that acceptance of me is an…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “[my friend] told me that Ace/Aro ppl are not inherently part of the LGBT+ community unless if they identify as LGBT…”

    September 13, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi Vesper. I’m still learning about all the different genders and sexualities and spectrums and I was talking to my friend the other day who’s more knowledgable than I am, and she told me that Ace/Aro ppl are not inherently part of the LGBT+ community unless if they identify as LGBT. I’m a little confused by this. Are asexuality and aromanticism not a part of LGBT+? She basically implied that bc Ace/Aro ppl are not part of LGBT+ they do not face oppression. I’m sorry if this is confusing. hello, anon. what your friend told you is nothing but her opinion and it’s an opinion that many, myself included, disagree with. you may feel like your friend is more knowledgeable than you are about gender and sexuality, but she is by no means an expert on the oppression that others do or do not face and it’s rather…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Studio Ghibli’s 『思い出のマーニー』 // “When Marnie Was There”

    August 11, 2014

    Ie Uru Onna Gyakushuu S2E3: “A home that is accepting of all [kinds of] love?!”

    January 24, 2019

    “You are freaking perfect how you are.”

    June 19, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  Japan[ese],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I was wondering if you know of any articles or websites about what it’s like being ace in Japan…”

    August 20, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi there….I was wondering if you know of any articles or websites about what it’s like being ace in Japan (especially from the perspective of any ace people who are natively Japanese). I’m just interested in reading people’s experiences, where they learned about asexuality, etc. I tried searching google, but so much acephobic garbage came up that I had to finally shut down my browser. D: aside from the things that @harris-hijiri​ writes, which aren’t necessarily about the experience of being ace in Japan, i’m afraid that i don’t know of personal writing on being ace in Japan as a Japanese person that’s written in English. i tried searching for some, but i swear if i come across another article on herbivore men or ‘the japanese sex/population crisis’ written from a Western-centric point of view i’m going to throw my laptop out the goddamn window. everything that i could…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    custom shirt

    October 13, 2013

    …annnd that’s a wrap!

    May 7, 2017

    literal “social distancing” from the ace community

    April 1, 2020
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “My husband has known I’m more ace than anything else… he just told me he hasnt been telling…”

    August 8, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hey, I rly just need an outward view. My husband has known I’m more ace than anything else(pretty sure I’m full ace, pan-rom but still figuring that out)&he just told me he hasnt been telling me when he’s had sexual feelings for me because it’s “not a thing you want and I don’t want to feel like an asshole for having sexual feelings.”I explained the difference between attraction&arousal&now he is really not ok with me not having sexual attraction towards him(cause he just realised it maybe?) I have no idea what to do because he can get rly insecure and he has no idea about the pan thing. I’ve mentioned poly things too, not saying I want it but if he did I’d be okay to try it, but he said he’s done if I ever want anything like it. I guess I just feel weird about things…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 03 – Romantic Orientations & Other Types of Attraction

    May 24, 2013

    QAC 35 – Body Image: An Intersection of Black, Non-binary & Asexual Identity

    March 16, 2015

    …mmm, so.

    March 24, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Japan[ese],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I have a question regarding the Japanese use of the terms asexual and nonsexual…”

    July 27, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous post: I have a question regarding the Japanese use of the terms asexual and nonsexual. Is asexual generally used by all aces on the aromantic spectrum or do arospec aces who sometimes feel romantic attraction (such as grey aromantics) typically prefer to use nonsexual? I’d like to get more involved with the ace community when I (hopefully) move to Japan, but I feel like the Japanese terminology doesn’t even let me describe myself… (re: this post) bearing in mind that everything i’m about to say is based entirely on my own limited experience and observation… i can count the number of times i’ve met or heard of a Japanese person actively identifying in some way as gray or demi on one hand. generally speaking, awareness of nuanced ace & aro spectrum identities / orientations is hardly a thing among Japanese aces. the only time i hear any explicit mention of…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2016 musings

    May 15, 2016

    literal “social distancing” from the ace community

    April 1, 2020

    QAC 04 – Why I Identify as Panromantic & Biromantic

    May 24, 2013
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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