aro spectrum Archives | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Art[sy Fartsy], Queer[ness]

Re: Demiromantic and Gray (a)romantic Flags

August 4, 2017 / No Comments

queerascat: pride-flags: queerascat: after making the arospec pride flag set, something about the demiromantic and gray (a)romantic flags really bothered me. the aromantic flag has no purple in it. from what i remember of that flag’s creation, this was done intentionally to distinguish aromanticism from asexuality as the two are often mistakenly linked. shouldn’t it be the same for the demiromantic flag vs the demisexual flag and the gray (a)romantic flag vs the gray asexual flag? in replacing the purple with green, there is a more visible connection to aromanticism and thus to being part of the aromantic spectrum. i think i will go ahead and revise the pride flag photoset, but thoughts anyone? i’m probably not even the first to think of this, but yeah? Are you the creator of these pride flags? Just wondering. …i hesitate to say that i am the original creator of these flags as…

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Vesper H.

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Re: QAC 51 – #ProudToBe Black Non-Binary Bi Pan AND Asexual
June 23, 2016

an example of intersectional acephobia if ever there was one…
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?Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2017: Parade & Ace Meetup
April 29, 2017
[A]sexuality, [Random] Thoughts

you’ve heard of asexuals, now get ready for

January 26, 2017 / 1 Comment

actually acknowledging the fact that they do not exist as two mutually exclusive groups of people, ie. aromantic asexuals vs (allo)romantic asexuals.

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Vesper H.

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May 11, 2017
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re: “aromantic relationships” and marriage as “the New Platonic Ideal”

December 7, 2016 / No Comments

minamina0013: queerascat: minamina0013: queerascat: …as much as i love this thread of posts in theory, my tired ass can’t help but sit here wondering why anyone need even get married at all to do or have any of the above things, the few actual legal matters that were mentioned aside. also, this uplifting of “aromantic relationships” and marriage as “the New Platonic Ideal” feels incredibly uncomfortable… @queerascat I agree I think a lot of those things could be achieved by simply being roommates. It’s pretty funny that what they’re dubbing as “the New Platonic Ideal” already has a name, it’s called “friendship”. Aromantic relationships could be called friendships if that’s how you want to label it but personally as an aro I would consider a relationship with another aro as queer platonic. Our relationship may not be romantic but I wouldn’t say that my QPP(s) and I are just ‘friends’ who…

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Vesper H.

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landscapes and fissures: navigating ace terminology in Japanese & English
June 1, 2018

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QAC 50 – Biphobia x Non-Binary Erasure x Binarism || Bi Non-Binary People Exist
June 12, 2016
[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “So I think that I’m aromantic?”

August 15, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: So I think that I’m aromantic? Because like in all my 20 years of living I’ve never ever had any kind of crush or romantic feelings at all. The thing is, the idea of being in a romantic relationship sounds really nice to me. Is it possible to be aro but want to be in a romantic relationship? Like although I don’t get any kind of desire in regards to romance I still kinda want a relationship… I’m so confused it most certainly is possible to be aromantic and to want to be in a romantic relationship. while it is true that some aro people do not want to be in a romantic relationship, being aromantic is still by no means synonymous with not wanting to be in a romantic relationship. in my humble opinion, being aromantic in and of itself says nothing about the types of relationships…

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Vesper H.

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「私はゲイ」自分の言葉で、自分を語る / “I’m Gay” – Talking About Myself By Myself: Gay men talk about their own identity.
May 6, 2016

comments on my “QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like” video.
November 26, 2015

#TRP2017
May 11, 2017
[A]sexuality, Japan[ese], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “I have a question regarding the Japanese use of the terms asexual and nonsexual…”

July 27, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous post: I have a question regarding the Japanese use of the terms asexual and nonsexual. Is asexual generally used by all aces on the aromantic spectrum or do arospec aces who sometimes feel romantic attraction (such as grey aromantics) typically prefer to use nonsexual? I’d like to get more involved with the ace community when I (hopefully) move to Japan, but I feel like the Japanese terminology doesn’t even let me describe myself… (re: this post) bearing in mind that everything i’m about to say is based entirely on my own limited experience and observation… i can count the number of times i’ve met or heard of a Japanese person actively identifying in some way as gray or demi on one hand. generally speaking, awareness of nuanced ace & aro spectrum identities / orientations is hardly a thing among Japanese aces. the only time i hear any explicit mention of…

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Vesper H.

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Ie Uru Onna Gyakushuu S2E3: “A home that is accepting of all [kinds of] love?!”
January 24, 2019

photos from Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2014 (04/27/2014)
May 7, 2014

“love languages”?? communication tool.
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[A]sexuality, Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “That’s part of the reason why I so strongly hold onto “queer” as one of my labels!”

June 29, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: That’s part of the reason why I so strongly hold onto “queer” as one of my labels! I identify under both the ace and aro umbrellas, but it’s weird and hard to explain and trying to say I’m bi/pan/poly/etc (even without -romantic) carries that weird connotation that doesn’t fit me. I actually think you just managed to put my feelings into words??? I’m having an epiphany and I need to go think about this more. (re: this post) i know right? i’m also very fond of ‘queer’ as a word and identity and identify strongly with it. sometimes i refer to myself as a ‘queer asexual’ rather than as a ‘bi / pan asexual’ for the sake of brevity and/or to avoid assumptions, depending on the situation and who i’m talking to. whenever i do that, ‘queer’ isn’t acting as a replacement for ‘bi’ or ‘pan’, but rather as yet another…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 51 – #ProudToBe Black Non-Binary Bi Pan AND Asexual
June 22, 2016

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DIY ace flag, anyone?
May 6, 2016
[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “I’ve IDed as aromantic for a while, but I’m very confused.”

June 10, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Question!! I’ve IDed as aromantic for a while, but I’m very confused. I think I like quioromantic, but also I feel like idemromantic could apply. Since the two are similar, how would I decide which is more accurate in describing myself? Thanks! -Cio Oh! And also, does it make sense for me to want/be in a romantic relationship even if I (don’t know if I) feel romantic attraction? If one of my close friends asked me on a date I’d quickly agree, but is that fair to them? -Cio i often suggest to people to try an identity / label ‘on for size’ to see how it ‘fits’. sometimes it’s hard to know whether something feels ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ to you just from read definitions and researching the experiences of others who identify as the identity / label that you’re interested in. sometimes things become a lot clearer more quickly by…

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Vesper H.

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spotted: LGBT 101 on Japanese TV
February 21, 2015

QAC 54 – Confusing Gender Envy & Admiration with Attraction || Non-Binary | Asexual
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October 12, 2013
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Q&A: “I was just trying to see if the definition of lithromantic can be bent according to who experiences it.”

May 16, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi! I was just trying to see if the definition of lithromantic can be bent according to who experiences it. Basically, the definition i experience is the one where once my feelings are reciprocated, that romantic attraction fades away. It doesnt have to necessarily mean that i get uncomfortable with having my feelings reciprocated, does it? Like, i dont necessarily mind if my partner says all these lovey dovey stuff, but most of the time i dont exactly say it back. Sorry im confused ㅠㅠ hi, anon. 🙂 being lithromantic does not mean that one automatically finds reciprocated romantic attraction repulsive upon ones own attraction fading, nor does it imply that one feels any particular way about having one’s romantic attraction reciprocated. being lithromantic means that once romantic attraction is reciprocated, the attraction that you feel fades. that’s all. what happens after that differs from person to person.…

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Vesper H.

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an example of intersectional acephobia if ever there was one…
December 16, 2015

QAC 51 – #ProudToBe Black Non-Binary Bi Pan AND Asexual
June 22, 2016

spotted: same-gender marriage feature on Japanese news
October 12, 2015
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usage of “alterous” vs “platonic” in aro discourse

February 22, 2016 / 3 Comments

i hesitate to post this at all*, but i’ve been casually mulling it over for a little while now and am getting no where in keeping this to myself, so here goes nothing… there’s a relatively new word going around on Tumblr: alterous.

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Vesper H.

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May 17, 2016

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EVERYTHING ASEXUAL AND AROMANTIC (Part 1) | The ABC’s of LGBT

January 15, 2016 / No Comments

youtuber @ashleymardell just released part 1 of her long awaited trilogy on asexuality and aromanticism! this video series is about both asexuality and aromanticism and is part of a larger series of videos called “The ABC’s of LGBT”. you might be thinking that this is probably just another one of those asexuality or aromanticism 101 videos made by someone who isn’t ace or aro themselves, but that’s the thing. it’s actually not!

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Vesper H.

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