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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • Feedback,  Mental [Un]health,  Q&A

    Q&A not Q&A: “you’re personality REALLY reminds me of me. I’m also what you call “apathetic as hell.””

    June 19, 2016 /

    anonymous said: you’re personality REALLY reminds me of me. I’m also what you call “apathetic as hell.” I just think you can catch more flies with honey. People shut down if you automatically start tearing them down. You don’t build yourself (& others) up by tearing someone (& others) down. PLUS you’ll NEVER get them to understand what you’re talking about if you attack them back because they’ll be in their defensive mindset. It’s effective in helping people evolve. It’s also important to pick your fights. If you’re constantly fighting not only are you going to drain yourself but people will start to take your fighting level as a basic level of how you react to things and they’ll take you less seriously. Also some people do screw up and don’t realize it; informing them on the issue and helping them improve themselves is better than just throwing them under…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Feedback

    Feedback: “I’m trying to understand more LGBTQIA issues and you’re blog is really helping me.”

    June 19, 2016 /

    anonymous said: post/140747818071/my-friend-i-both-identify-as-queer-women-she-is <- this was a great post you clarified so much for me THANK YOU. I’ve been trying to understand this kind of issue. I’m asexual, aromantic, and sex repulsed so it’s a blurred perspective for these kinds of topics but I’m trying to understand more LGBTQIA issues and you’re blog is really helping me. It sucks that’s it’s difficult to find a legit discussion about these kinds of topics on tumblr but hey… it’s tumblr. (the post in question) honored to be of any help to you, anon. the a problem with Tumblr is that even if there is serious discussion about important things going on on this site, it can be impossible to find it because of the way Tumblr is setup and that sucks as much as the apparently lack of serious discussions at times… sigh.

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A not Q&A: “Have you seen that post going around saying the being asexual is a modifier not an orientation?”

    June 18, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Have you seen that post going around saying the being asexual is a modifier not an orientation? It also seemed to imply that asexuality is a choice? I’m really tired of misinformation about asexuals being spread around. …mmm, no i have not seen the post in question, but a quick search has brought up this post (warning: offensive ignorance is offensive) that i’m guessing might be the one you’re referring to…? was posted about 20hrs ago (i received this ask 4hrs ago) and yet has somehow already amassed 200 notes without a single critic of its content in sight. the spreading of misinformation (maliciously or not) is annoying indeed. that said, i just so happen to be Apathetic As Hell about what others think and am very confident and comfortable in my identity as an asexual, so it’s pretty easy for me to not give a damn about…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    my collection…

    March 7, 2013

    QAC 06 – Coming Out as a Panromantic Asexual

    June 1, 2013
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “why are pan and bi both terms if they can mean the same thing?”

    June 14, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: okay. so. why are pan and bi both terms if they can mean the same thing? (i have googled this, trust me) …gonna take a stab in the dark and guess that this is in response to this post where no one ever said that they mean the same thing. well fear not, confused anon! unlike Google, i have an entire tag (or four) dedicated to your very question! may i direct you, dear anon, to my #bi vs pan tag in particular, as well as to these two posts in that tag: “what’s the difference between bi and pan?” (hint: there is a difference) “why does it matter if the definitions of bisexuality overlap with the definitions of…?” (hint: it doesn’t matter) and no, lovely anon, my sarcasm is not meant as condescension! i just found the tone of your ask mildly annoying, so i thought i might as well jump onto…

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    Vesper H.

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    The Hypocrisy of YouTube: i.e. Why YouTube Is A Pink Capitalist Piece Of Shit

    #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube

    December 15, 2019

    QAC 24 – Labels: Why They’re Important + Why I Use Them

    March 17, 2014

    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2016 musings

    May 15, 2016
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “have you read any books with non-binary characters in them?”

    June 14, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hey, Vesper, have you read any books with non-binary characters in them? I found several on amazon Kindle, which is super exciting, but I’m also kinda wary of them. i’m afraid i haven’t had the time or energy to read much of anything for a long while now, so i haven’t read anything with non-binary characters in it apart from webcomics… i can’t personally vouch for the content of any of these lists, but perhaps these book lists from GoodReads.com and the reviews on them will help you find quality books to read? Non-Binary and Genderqueer Characters in YA Fiction Non-Binary (Genderqueer, Genderfluid, Gender-Unspecified, etc) Fiction and Memoirs Gender Non-Binary Fantasy & Science Fiction oh, and: 17 Pathbreaking Non-Binary and Gender-Fluid Novels (not from GoodReads) i totally understand being wary or apprehensive of reading anything with a supposed non-binary character in it. :/ i’d be inclined to research the…

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 05 – Gender Blurb: Neutrois?

    May 29, 2013

    #TRP2015 準備完了

    April 25, 2015

    CNN: “Trying to Find Love as a Trans Man”

    March 20, 2017
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I am having trouble with my gender, and am looking for some advice?”

    June 12, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I am having trouble with my gender, and am looking for some advice? I was AFAB, but was stuck in a disgustingly misogynistic environment from the time I was 9 (19 now) until just a few months ago. For the past several years, I’ve had a strong aversion to anything stereotypically seen as “female,” and experienced a lot of issues with the way my body is seen. I’ve tried using every other pronoun set and gender I can think of, and none of them make me feel any better. I don’t know what to do. if you don’t had any animosity or otherwise negative feelings towards your name, you could ask people to always refer to you by your name instead of pronouns. some people prefer to go by their name until they find a pronoun that feels right to them and others go by their name indefinitely,…

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    Vesper H.

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    thank you

    November 28, 2017

    botched allyship & language barriers #TRP2017

    May 11, 2017

    QAC 50 – Biphobia x Non-Binary Erasure x Binarism || Bi Non-Binary People Exist

    June 12, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I’ve IDed as aromantic for a while, but I’m very confused.”

    June 10, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Question!! I’ve IDed as aromantic for a while, but I’m very confused. I think I like quioromantic, but also I feel like idemromantic could apply. Since the two are similar, how would I decide which is more accurate in describing myself? Thanks! -Cio Oh! And also, does it make sense for me to want/be in a romantic relationship even if I (don’t know if I) feel romantic attraction? If one of my close friends asked me on a date I’d quickly agree, but is that fair to them? -Cio i often suggest to people to try an identity / label ‘on for size’ to see how it ‘fits’. sometimes it’s hard to know whether something feels ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ to you just from read definitions and researching the experiences of others who identify as the identity / label that you’re interested in. sometimes things become a lot clearer more quickly by…

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    Vesper H.

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    Black Mirror: “San Junipero”

    July 6, 2017

    QAC 71 – Testosterone, Libido & Asexuality: Has HRT Changed My Sexuality? || The T Files #009

    July 9, 2018

    comments on my “QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like” video.

    November 26, 2015
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “so, i’m 21 and i’ve never been in love or had a crush or anything, and i don’t really find people attractive…”

    June 8, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: ok so, i’m 21 and i’ve never been in love or had a crush or anything, and i don’t really find people attractive, and if someone asks me if i think someone is attractive, i get really uncomfortable because i just can’t tell. i like watching porn (m/m and m/f but i don’t really like f/f porn), but i can’t imagine having sex with anyone. another thing is, i don’t really like being called a girl, cause it feels like it’s way to call me weak (i know this is not true, and i don’t want to offend anyone, it’s just how i feel when someone calls me a girl/woman) i don’t care if someone calls me a boy or makes quotation marks while calling me a girl. i think i’m aro ace but i’m not sure, what do you think? i think you should go with what…

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    Vesper H.

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    spotted: LGBT 101 on Japanese TV

    February 21, 2015

    on the discrepancy between “asexual” in English & Japanese and confusion regarding demisexuality.

    May 12, 2017

    『[4コマ]☆AセクシュアルとAce(エース)☆』

    July 27, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “what is the difference between a panromantic demisexual and a demi-pansexual?”

    May 29, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi. I was wondering if you would be able to tell me what is the difference between a panromantic demisexual and a demi-pansexual? for some people, they can mean the same thing. it really depends on what the terms mean to the person/people identifying as them. a possible difference: a panromantic demisexual may have the potential to experience romantic attraction towards people of any gender, but they experience sexual attraction towards no one until they have a strong, emotional bond with someone, at which time they may or may not experience sexual attraction towards that person. a demi-pansexual may have the potential to experience sexual attraction towards people of any gender, but they don’t experience sexual attraction until they have a strong, emotional bond with someone, at which time they may or may not experience sexual attraction towards that person. these are but one of many possible ways that…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like

    April 27, 2015

    QAC 48 – Non-Binary Gender Norms & (A)sexuality: Yeah, No.

    March 27, 2016

    Re: Tokyo Ace Meetup

    April 5, 2015
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I’m trying to understand the differences between maverique, agender, gender neutral, and neutrois.”

    May 25, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I’m trying to understand the differences between maverique, agender, gender neutral, and neutrois. What does being a maverique feel like to you and how does it differ from the other terms? I know what these terms MEAN, but not how these genders are EXPERIENCED. everyone has their own unique experience with gender, so there is no one “maverique experience”, “agender experience”, etc. what being maverique feels like to me isn’t necessarily going to match how other maveriques feel. that disclaimer aside, some links that may help you: “maverique: why i coined the word” – where i talk about why i stopped identifying as neutrois, how being maverique feels to me and how that differs from being gender neutral or genderless. “goodbye neutrois, hello maverique” – video version of the above “how is maverique distinct from agender?” – where i respond to an ask about the difference between being…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    QAC 23 – Being Forced Out of the Closet (Bi/Panromantic Non-binary Asexual)

    February 24, 2014

    and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. 

    July 27, 2017

    QAC 13 – Staying In The Closet

    August 11, 2013
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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