QAC 71 – Testosterone, Libido & Asexuality: Has HRT Changed My Sexuality? || The T Files #009
six months on testosterone and navigating having a (over)active libido (or “sex drive”) to show for it. as an ace, suddenly having to navigate having a high libido for the first time in my life has been…. interesting, to say the least.
landscapes and fissures: navigating ace terminology in Japanese & English
the following post was written for the May 2018 Carnival of Aces on the subject of “Nuance & Complexity“. it may or may not be cleaned up and cross-posted to the YouTube channel Queer As Cat in the future. —— some feel that people in (English-speaking, anglophone) ace communities are “overthinking” things. that the amount of words and identities (also referred to as “microlabels”) which have been coined in such communities is not only “overdoing it,” but even potentially harmful. i’d hope that this would go without saying (but understand that it doesn’t), that i disagree with the former and vehemently reject the latter. regardless of whether i or you or that random person over there petting the stray cat that’s out in the street right now feel such terminology to be useful to us personally, the fact remains that others do and there is immense value in that.
“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
note: this post has been ported over as-is from Tumblr for my own future reference. anonymous submitted: (i had a long question, so, i hope it’s ok to use submit instead of sending multiple asks.) as a disclaimer, i ask this as an ace person who usually just ids as queer ace or grey ace. i’m not asking to be combative or make anyone feel bad.
QAC 66 – Split Attraction Model: Opting Out Of Romantic Orientations || Grayromantic | Asexual
i’ve said this before on Tumblr, but it’s time to make it “official” on YouTube: i don’t identify as biromantic or panromantic anymore. in fact, i don’t identify as “-romantic” anything anymore. after years of quietly questioning my experience of so-called “romantic” attraction, all the while trying to navigate spaces which obviously didn’t have someone like me– someone who neither felt comfortable being assumed “[allo]romantic” nor “aromantic”– in mind, i finally opted to discard romantic orientations (for myself) all together. rather, i identify as a bi ace. as a pan ace. although if i’m being honest, more often than not as a queer ace or more simply as “queer”. but what exactly is the difference between “biromantic ace” and “bi ace”? after over a year of having identified as the latter, it seems to me that thanks to amatonormativity and the general normalization of romantic orientations in ace communities, people don’t see…
that feel when no words
that feel when you finally have a use for relationship terminology, but none of it makes sense to you because all of it is predicated on the assumption that you subscribe to the dichotomy of “romantic” vs “[queer]platonic”– not to even mention the equally taxing concept that is “alterous”.
Q&A: “I don’t have any interest in a romantic or sexual relationship, but I know I can feel romantic attraction…”
anonymous said: Hi Vesper. I’m pretty certain that I like on both the aro- and Ace-spectrums; I’m not exactly sure where, but I’m not comfortable using the q word (I’m not sure what your blog’s policy in the word is, but better safe than sorry). I don’t have any interest in a romantic or sexual relationship, but I know I can feel romantic attraction. I’ve recently started just describing myself as “basically Aroace” and was wondering what your thoughts on the acceptability of this are. my opinion is that you should and have every right to use whatever words feel comfortable for you in describing yourself and that any and all consideration given to the “acceptability” of it can and should get the fuck out of your way if its making things difficult or uncomfortable for you, but that’s just me. having only gotten 6ish hours of sleep over the…
you’ve heard of asexuals, now get ready for
actually acknowledging the fact that they do not exist as two mutually exclusive groups of people, ie. aromantic asexuals vs (allo)romantic asexuals.
『[4ｺﾏ]☆ＡセクシュアルとAce(エース)☆』
once again i randomly came across another one of Chii’s 4-koma comic strips about asexuality on Twitter and my reaction to seeing it has me feeling guilty and torn. ;( for those who don’t speak Japanese, the comic introduces the term “ace” (slang for “asexual”) to Japanese readers and then explains how it’s connected to aces in playing cards. it also introduces readers to the concept / association that’s been floating around English-speaking ace communities of each suite being associated with specific orientations / identities. in the comic, it’s explained as: ace of hearts: romantic asexuals (known as “nonsexuals” in Japan) ace of spades: aromantic asexuals (known as “asexuals” in Japan) ace of diamonds: demisexuals and demiromantic asexuals ace of clubs: gray asexuals and grayromantic asexuals before i start ranting going on and on about ‘nothing’, i want to point out that i’m happy that “ace” is being introduced here in Japanese. no conflicting feelings there.…
Q&A: “What are your thoughts on the ‘ace discourse’?”
anonymous said: Hi! I really like your blog, and I’ve seen a few of your videos, you’re really cool and you helped me a lot on understanding my identity. I wanted to ask you, but of course you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, what are your thoughts on the ‘ace discourse’? hello and thanks for the kind words. 🙂 i’m going to be a bit pedantic and ask what exactly you’re referring to when you say ‘the ace discourse’ because i feel like this phrase is being used to refer to a lot of different (although related) stuff that’s been going on on Tumblr for a while now. do you mean how some people insist that inclusion in ‘the LGBT community’ is based on oppression? that aces aren’t oppressed at all? that aces are oppressed, but not for being ace? do you mean how some people insist that…
Q&A: “I’m asexual, and for months have been trying to figure out if I am biromantic or panromantic…”
anonymous said: Hello! I’m asexual, and for months have been trying to figure out if I am biromantic or panromantic, yet I can’t seem to make sense of it. I also noticed you used all three terms, minus the ‘-romantic’ suffix. Would you be willing to talk about how those three connect for you, even just briefly? Thank you, and I hope you have a wonderful day/night. hi. 🙂 how being bi, pan and ace connect for me, eh…? mmm… well, the short and simplified way that i usually go about explaining my sexuality to people is that i am (have the potential to be) attracted to people of any gender, but that attraction is never sexual. …and unless the person in question responds to that with further questions or i feel like going into more detail than that, i usually just leave it at that because i think that’s as…
