Queer As Cat | Page 47 of 74 | gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

QAC 74 – 1 Year on HRT: Non-Binary Dysphoria | Euphoria | “Passing” || The T Files #010

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January 3, 2019

This Is Fine.

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July 14, 2018

ｈ／Ｈｉｓｔｏｒｙ.

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February 11, 2019

allo by default: hypocrisy in “aspec” spaces

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February 25, 2017

identity politics leave little room for agency; a thought.

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July 21, 2017

[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “I think I might be anything but straight, and it’s terrifying.”

March 29, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I think I might be anything but straight, and it’s terrifying. I don’t know if I want to label myself but I feel like I have to for the people surrounding me. Let me not have a label if I don’t want to. Let me live. I don’t know where to go from now. anon, you most certainly don’t have to label yourself and there is absolutely nothing wrong with not being sure of your sexuality or anything else in life. even if others are obnoxious enough to try and co-pilot or even hijack it, the fact is that you are in control of your life and identity. you and only you. what you do from here is entirely up to you. hell, you don’t even have to do anything at all if you don’t want to. discovering something new about yourself can certainly be terrifying, especially at…

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Vesper H.

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non-binary gender norms & (a)sexuality: yeah, no.

March 28, 2016 / No Comments

the following post was originally a vlog that was submitted for the March 2016 Carnival of Aces based on the theme “Gender Norms and Asexuality.” check out The Asexual Agenda’s Carnival of Aces Masterpost for more information. a lot of people feel like there is a connection between one’s gender and sexuality, be it in the form of gender roles, “gender presentation”, sexual attraction (or lack thereof) et cetera ad infinitum. having said that, i’m not going to lie… i really don’t get it.

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Vesper H.

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Feedback

Feedback: “I’m in America, I don’t see any connection between my gender/sexuality. However, when I studied abroad in Italy, I felt like gender norms…”

March 28, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I just watched your new video on being non-binary and ace. When I’m in America, I don’t see any connection between my gender/sexuality. However, when I studied abroad in Italy, I felt like gender norms there were more strong and rigid. I identify as mostly a girl but in Italy there is so much open hypersexualization of black women. I wanted to be completely invisible,masculine, and felt way more asexual and dysphoric than in America. Do you experience these changes in intensity when you travel? oh my god yes. a million times yes. gender norms, like social norms in general, are very much tied to culture, which means that they differ from culture to culture. on top of that, when you’re immersed in a culture that’s different from your own, the differences can exacerbate how one feels about the norms of the culture you’re immersed in… while…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
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Q&A: “Is it possible to become asexual as you get older?”

March 28, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Is it possible to become asexual as you get older? Like when I started puberty my hormones were through the roof so I’d masturbate but I don’t think I’ve ever really liked sex? It just doesn’t seem necessary or pleasing to me :s hi, anon. 🙂 a person’s sexuality can certainly change overtime. it’s worth noting, though, that horniness (or lack there of) has more to do with sex drive or libido than it has to do with one’s sexual orientation. anyone of any sexual orientation can have a low libido just as anyone of any sexual orientation can have a high libido, even an asexual person. in other words, your sexuality very well may have changed, but you could also be an asexual who just so happens to have (or have had) a libido and masturbates (or masturbated). even one’s libido can change without one’s sexual orientation…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 35 – Body Image: An Intersection of Black, Non-binary & Asexual Identity
March 16, 2015
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QAC 48 – Non-Binary Gender Norms & (A)sexuality: Yeah, No.

March 27, 2016 / 1 Comment

for many the intersection of gender identity, gender norms and sexuality is complicated, to say the least. so what happens when the world doesn’t even know that your gender identity exists? when there are literally few, if any, gender norm associated with your gender? when your sexuality itself is as invisible as your gender identity and non-existent gender norms? welcome to Vesperland, where even the most complicated of things somehow manages to become even more complicated. this video is a submission for the March 2016 Carnival of Aces based on the theme “Gender Norms and Asexuality.” to find out more, check out The Asexual Agenda’s Carnival of Aces Masterpost. …has anyone ever submitted a video for the Carnival of Aces? hmm… this video will be accompanied by a text version that i’ll post tomorrow, but please don’t let that stop you from watching the video. i’ll add captions to the…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “so i came out as asexual to my friends about half a year ago but…”

March 27, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: so i came out as asexual to my friends about half a year ago. but in the past few months i’ve been realizing that i may not be asexual. i don’t know what i am and i don’t want to label it just yet. i also want to tell my friends, but i feel like they’re getting tired of me saying different things (i came out as bi, then ace & trans, then this) and that there’s no point in me saying anything if i don’t even know what i am. i want to say something, but i don’t even know if i should. hi, anon. if you want to say something to your friends, then i think you should? there’s absolutely nothing wrong with just flat out saying that you’re not sure how you feel and/or that you’re questioning. that you’re continuously learning and discovering things about…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “I’m 13 and I’m pretty sure I’m ace and I want to come out to someone as ace but…”

March 27, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I’m 13 and I’m pretty sure I’m ace and I want to come out to someone as ace but she’s ace and in afraid she will think I’m just doing this to “be like” her. I’m really not this is how I feel and this is who I am. hi, anon. 🙂 hopefully your friend will be supportive. i mean, you coming out to her as ace is cause to be happy! happy for you, for having discovered something so awesome about yourself, and happy for her, for having a friend who’s also ace! that said, if your friend does accuse you of wanting to be like her, it may be worth pointing out that being ace isn’t any more of a choice for you than it is her. if by chance her being ace somehow helped you to discover that you’re ace too, you could perhaps mention…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 71 – Testosterone, Libido & Asexuality: Has HRT Changed My Sexuality? || The T Files #009
July 9, 2018
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Q&A: “people always talk about realizing they’re queer and having known something was ‘different’ in them…. and i never really felt like that…”

March 23, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: hi, ive been thinking lately, people always talk about realizing they’re queer and having known something was ‘different’ in them all along but only understanding it then. and i never really felt like that, not in a way i realize now. and maybe it was the way i was introduced to lgbt+ stuff (im really forever grateful for having someone to do that cause it really got me out of a toxic homophobic mindset earlier on) but it makes me wonder if im really trans, bc like being trans makes me really happy, but it was never really a click for me more of a slow, ‘hey! Maybe this is me?’, idk i feel like i probably could’ve gone on my whole life being a ‘woman’ if i didn’t know about trans/nonbinary people :/ its really upsetting cause now im starting to think, what if im just doing…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 34 – Distancing Yourself From Family
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Antiblackness and Binarism: Grindr in Japan
January 6, 2018
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Q&A not Q&A: “They don’t face opression at all is what I believe.”

March 23, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: They don’t face opression at all is what I believe. I don’t think it’s about ((enough)) I think it’s about being opressed at all and they aren’t. They face a stigma and I’ll call that shit out when I see it but, I don’t think it’s opression at all? Idk just my opinion. i understand that that’s your opinion, but i’m not sure what you want me to say? like i’ve said before, imho whether heteroromantic aces face oppression or not is beside the point. my stance on whether they have the right to identify as a part of the LGBTQIA+ community remains a firm “yes” because like i said, oppression isn’t the determining factor for me. if you’re looking for me to take a stance on whether heteroromantic aces face oppression at all or whether what they face is stigma, i’m afraid i’m not going to give you…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “the thing about defining the community based on oppression is that…”

March 22, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: the thing about defining the community based on oppression is that like, none of us can even really compare our oppression to trans women/transfeminine ppl (and more specifically trans WOC). transmisogyny is significantly more oppressive and violent than any homophobia, biphobia, a-phobia, etc that cis people, regardless of sexuality, face. If a line is going to be drawn based on “how oppressed are you”, then it makes no sense to lump, idk, cis white gay guys in with twoc IMHO. Any non-cishet person who doesnt experience transmisogyny and tries to say that ace people arent oppressed enough to be in ‘the community’ is directly comparing their own oppression to that of trans women of color which is really inappropriate imho. IDK just my two cents on the matter. (re: this post) i get the point you’re making, but i’m not really comfortable with how it’s being made because…

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Vesper H.

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