everyone outside of the ace community automatically reads your bi identity as ‘bisexual’ and everyone within the ace community automatically reads your bi identity as ‘biromantic’ because everyone assumes forgets that a person can just simply be bi or that there’s more to a person’s sexuality than just -sexual / -romantic.
for those who don’t know, YouTube is currently spotlighting videos by LGBTQIA creators expressing their Pride in who they are using the #ProudToBe hashtag. i thought i’d jump on the bandwagon and add some encouraging words and visibility / representation for people like me. as the video description says, YouTube joined forces with many popular LGBTQIA content creators on its site to release the #ProudToBe spotlight today. inspired by others’ videos, but also pissed off by the public’s response to the hashtag / spotlight, i decided to make this impromptu video upon getting home from work. it’s not great, but might as well throw my face out there too, eh? as i mentioned, the public’s response to the hashtag / spotlight has been especially severe… trolls have been out in force like never before, spamming everything from the comments section of YouTube’s spotlight video itself to the comment sections of literally…
anonymous said: I just want to say I found some of your videos on YouTube and some of them have really resonated with me. I’ve always identified as bi, and was identifying as neutrois but sort of on the fence about it being the right term, and upon watching one of your videos awhile ago explaining your experience while identifying as neutrois and why you coined maverique, I’ve started to realize maverique may fit me better as well. So yeah, I just want to say thanks for doing what you do, and say keep doing it! thanks for not only watching my videos, but also for taking the time out of your day to come and send me this really nice message, anon. i appreciate the feedback & encouragement and am honored to hear that my neutrois / maverique video resonated with you. 🙂 keep being awesome yourself!
anonymous said: Hi Vesper! I identify as gray-ace, but it feels too vague to me and causes unnecessary worries to my partner about pushing me to do things I don’t really want (that never happens). I haven’t been able to find a more specific term. I do feel sexual attraction, so much that it’s obvious to me, but only when I decide I want to feel it in an interaction with someone. Cupio and recipro don’t fit. I call it conveniosexual as a joke because it is convenient, but is there an existing word? …i really hate to say this, but if your partner is concerned about pushing you to do things that you don’t really want to do, it seems unlikely to me that changing your identity would at all be a solution for that. forgive me if i’m out of line for saying this, but i’m doubtful that…
anonymous said: you’re personality REALLY reminds me of me. I’m also what you call “apathetic as hell.” I just think you can catch more flies with honey. People shut down if you automatically start tearing them down. You don’t build yourself (& others) up by tearing someone (& others) down. PLUS you’ll NEVER get them to understand what you’re talking about if you attack them back because they’ll be in their defensive mindset. It’s effective in helping people evolve. It’s also important to pick your fights. If you’re constantly fighting not only are you going to drain yourself but people will start to take your fighting level as a basic level of how you react to things and they’ll take you less seriously. Also some people do screw up and don’t realize it; informing them on the issue and helping them improve themselves is better than just throwing them under…
anonymous said: post/140747818071/my-friend-i-both-identify-as-queer-women-she-is <- this was a great post you clarified so much for me THANK YOU. I’ve been trying to understand this kind of issue. I’m asexual, aromantic, and sex repulsed so it’s a blurred perspective for these kinds of topics but I’m trying to understand more LGBTQIA issues and you’re blog is really helping me. It sucks that’s it’s difficult to find a legit discussion about these kinds of topics on tumblr but hey… it’s tumblr. (the post in question) honored to be of any help to you, anon. the a problem with Tumblr is that even if there is serious discussion about important things going on on this site, it can be impossible to find it because of the way Tumblr is setup and that sucks as much as the apparently lack of serious discussions at times… sigh.
anonymous said: Have you seen that post going around saying the being asexual is a modifier not an orientation? It also seemed to imply that asexuality is a choice? I’m really tired of misinformation about asexuals being spread around. …mmm, no i have not seen the post in question, but a quick search has brought up this post (warning: offensive ignorance is offensive) that i’m guessing might be the one you’re referring to…? was posted about 20hrs ago (i received this ask 4hrs ago) and yet has somehow already amassed 200 notes without a single critic of its content in sight. the spreading of misinformation (maliciously or not) is annoying indeed. that said, i just so happen to be Apathetic As Hell about what others think and am very confident and comfortable in my identity as an asexual, so it’s pretty easy for me to not give a damn about…
anonymous said: okay. so. why are pan and bi both terms if they can mean the same thing? (i have googled this, trust me) …gonna take a stab in the dark and guess that this is in response to this post where no one ever said that they mean the same thing. well fear not, confused anon! unlike Google, i have an entire tag (or four) dedicated to your very question! may i direct you, dear anon, to my #bi vs pan tag in particular, as well as to these two posts in that tag: “what’s the difference between bi and pan?” (hint: there is a difference) “why does it matter if the definitions of bisexuality overlap with the definitions of…?” (hint: it doesn’t matter) and no, lovely anon, my sarcasm is not meant as condescension! i just found the tone of your ask mildly annoying, so i thought i might as well jump onto…
anonymous said: Hey, Vesper, have you read any books with non-binary characters in them? I found several on amazon Kindle, which is super exciting, but I’m also kinda wary of them. i’m afraid i haven’t had the time or energy to read much of anything for a long while now, so i haven’t read anything with non-binary characters in it apart from webcomics… i can’t personally vouch for the content of any of these lists, but perhaps these book lists from GoodReads.com and the reviews on them will help you find quality books to read? Non-Binary and Genderqueer Characters in YA Fiction Non-Binary (Genderqueer, Genderfluid, Gender-Unspecified, etc) Fiction and Memoirs Gender Non-Binary Fantasy & Science Fiction oh, and: 17 Pathbreaking Non-Binary and Gender-Fluid Novels (not from GoodReads) i totally understand being wary or apprehensive of reading anything with a supposed non-binary character in it. :/ i’d be inclined to research the…
…as if dealing with the news itself and the media’s handling of it isn’t enough, i’m going to have to go through the week (and for however long after) listening to lots of opinions and commentary on the event that i would really rather do without, all while keeping my own feelings and opinion in check because, you know. that’s the nature of my job. somehow i’m going to have to muster up the energy to up my game with my Everything’s Okay face this week. …i’m exhausted already just thinking about it. ugh.
