Gender[queer]
Posts pertaining to gender, gender nonconformity, gender queering, etc.
Q&A: “just wondering if anyone knew a good place to find safe binders for…”
anonymous asked: Hey, just wondering if anyone knew a good place to find safe binders for someone with really small ribs (only 28 inches around) but an extremely large chest (H+ cup) or if it was even possible? I’m getting surgery in a year and a half or so, but I have kind of awful dysphoria sometimes to the point I dissociate because it triggers my anxiety and then turns into “well that’s not you, that’s someone else, you’re not here” hi, anon. i’m afraid that i won’t be of much help to you as i can’t say that i’ve read any binder reviews, or heard of any explicit statements on the behalf of the companies that make them, about a binder being made with measurements like yours in mind. that said, i did a quick search and found this that may (or may not) be of help to you?…
Q&A: “Can a maverique person consider themself man or woman-aligned?”
anonymous said: You may have answered a similar question before, and if so I apologize, it’s possible that I missed it! I was wondering, can a maverique person consider themself man or woman-aligned? And if a person considered themself woman-aligned and maverique, could they consider themself sapphic, or would you say being sapphic is inherently at odds with being maverique? Navigating the recent alignment discourse as a maverique has been rough for me, and I’d like to hear your thoughts. hi, anon. no worries. i’ve answered a similar question before, but not on this blog. check out what i said [ here ] over on @maveriques. i’m afraid that my answer to the question you’ve asked has not changed at all since responding to the linked ask. that said, i’m really sorry to hear that recent aligned terminology (i’m not caught up at all on any related discourse) has been rough…
Q&A: “…I can kind of relate to what your earlier post is about the representations of androgyny and nonbinary people…”
anonymous said: hey I just wanted to say that I can kind of relate to what your earlier post is about, not in that i’m black but in that i’m amab and the representations of androgyny and nonbinary people I see tend to be of a white, slim, crew cut hair cut with afab secondary sex characteristics, like a white pre-t trans man. my face is distincitvely male so it’s really not possible for me to pull off that look you were talking about because I can’t fit into that narrow somewhat accepted box. I might be getting a bit philosphical but I think that society see things in categories, like the light spectrum, even though there are infinite shades we demarcate them into 8 colours, in the past lgbt was pretty much all the colours there were, now there’s lgbtqia+. So if it’s any consolation as someone who is…
QAC 63 – Story Time: Coming Out To A Coworker || Visibly Queer | Non-Binary || The T Files #003
ever tried to come out to someone only to be met with “i already knew that”? before last week, i couldn’t say that i have, but when a coworker thinks their “gaydar” is on-point, but that gaydar ever-so-predictably fails to extend beyond just “GAY”, mental eye rolling, story time and a mini word vomit ensue. what does it mean to be “visibly queer” and why is it that more often than not ‘queer’ is often taken to be synonymous with “gay”? and is there any such thing as “visibly trans” or “visibly non-binary”? don’t expect to find any answers here, as it took me considerable effort just to limit my apathetic word vomit to 5 minutes zzz… two days post-recording and much sleep deprivation later…
QAC 62 – The Road To HRT: Fears, Goals & Compromise || Non-Binary || The T Files #002
when i first started this channel not long after having just began to explore and embrace my gender, i didn’t consider HRT / testosterone to even be a card on the table for me to play. HRT was something that others did and that i was judged for not wanting to do; it was for people who experienced “real”, bodily dysphoria, not people like me whose dysphoria was largely derivative of society and whose complicated relationship with the very idea of medically “transitioning” was used as a means of invalidation by others. i can’t help but imagine 2013 Vesper looking at 2017 Vesper with silent, candid irony as they brush aside the years of others’ bullshit to finally confront their own.
whiteness as default
as usual, i find myself turning to YouTube as a resource for information only to be reminded that…. YouTube is So Damn White. most things non-binary and / or trans are So Damn White. a search for “non-binary” and “testosterone” turns up almost nothing but skinny, short haired, white, non-binary people, none of whom i can really see myself in. which is nothing new. that’s part of the reason i’m on YouTube in the first place. beyond that, a bigger problem that i find myself faced with is that the very image / concept of “androgyny” or stereotypical “non-binary appearance” is inherently linked to whiteness. i want people to pause before they misgender me (seeing as how they will inevitably misgender me regardless) and the best way to bring about that is, presumably, androgynous appearance. however, androgyny feels unobtainable to me as a black person, because no matter what i…
gender feels; racial trauma.
as usual, i find myself turning to YouTube as a resource for information only to be reminded that…. YouTube is So Damn White. most things non-binary and / or trans are So Damn White. a search for “non-binary” and “testosterone” turns up almost nothing but skinny, short haired, white, non-binary people, none of whom i can really see myself in. which is nothing new. that’s part of the reason i’m on YouTube in the first place.
QAC 61 – Non-Binary Gender Identity Disorder (GID) & HRT in Japan | The T Files #001
after years of whining and moaning about it, i’m finally doing it; i’ll be starting HRT soon– and in Japan, no less. 2014 Vesper, who made an entire video about NOT “transitioning” in Japan, is eating their words. what’s made me change my mind now? how does one start HRT in Japan? as a non-binary person?? Gender Identity Disorder??? in this video, i talk about all the above, as well as recap the “highlights” of my recent appointment with a psychologist to get diagnosed with GID; a necessary first step to [legally] starting HRT from scratch in Japan. [ cw: vague sex mention @ 11:27 ~ 11:55; reproductive body stuff ] …took me long enough to get this video up, geez.
thank you
thank you @gc2b-apparel for the awesome sale! and thank you to BetterHelp.com, who sponsored this video about online therapy. most of all, a huge THANK YOU to everyone who watched it and to those who went a step further and even gave BetterHelp a try, you are The Awesomest Awesome to ever Awesome. i want you all to know that it’s entirely thanks to you that i can even afford these new binders at all. after nearly 4 years of wearing the same binders, which don’t even really bind at all anymore– which in turn has caused me many “ffffff– gotta layer! ffffff– layering does nothing– FFFFF” days– it’s more than about time that i get new ones. upcoming binder review once they make it to Japan and i’ve had time to try them out? probably. perhaps what i’m looking forward to the most is seeing how Nude No. 2 looks against my skin…
re: one step forward, zero steps back?
queerascat: so, after going to an appointment with my psychiatrist and blabbering about how much being around my family fucks me up whenever i go “home” for the holidays, which i’d be doing in less than a month’s time, causing him to be like “but what if you relapse??? consider upping your meds before you go???” and me being like “at least i’m on meds at all this time around so lolololol nah”– i felt the need to just…. really DO something yesterday. so i did the something. and the something will happen 4realz for realz tomorrow. so yeah, Anxiety word vomit blogging at 9:35pm at Starbucks. over the past three weeks or so i’ve been emailing a clinic that had been recommended to me by a friend re: starting HRT. after three weeks of no response to said emails, i decided to sneak out of work yesterday (because the clinic is seemingly…
