Gender[queer]
Posts pertaining to gender, gender nonconformity, gender queering, etc.
QAC 62 – The Road To HRT: Fears, Goals & Compromise || Non-Binary || The T Files #002
when i first started this channel not long after having just began to explore and embrace my gender, i didn’t consider HRT / testosterone to even be a card on the table for me to play. HRT was something that others did and that i was judged for not wanting to do; it was for people who experienced “real”, bodily dysphoria, not people like me whose dysphoria was largely derivative of society and whose complicated relationship with the very idea of medically “transitioning” was used as a means of invalidation by others. i can’t help but imagine 2013 Vesper looking at 2017 Vesper with silent, candid irony as they brush aside the years of others’ bullshit to finally confront their own.
whiteness as default
as usual, i find myself turning to YouTube as a resource for information only to be reminded that…. YouTube is So Damn White. most things non-binary and / or trans are So Damn White. a search for “non-binary” and “testosterone” turns up almost nothing but skinny, short haired, white, non-binary people, none of whom i can really see myself in. which is nothing new. that’s part of the reason i’m on YouTube in the first place. beyond that, a bigger problem that i find myself faced with is that the very image / concept of “androgyny” or stereotypical “non-binary appearance” is inherently linked to whiteness. i want people to pause before they misgender me (seeing as how they will inevitably misgender me regardless) and the best way to bring about that is, presumably, androgynous appearance. however, androgyny feels unobtainable to me as a black person, because no matter what i…
gender feels; racial trauma.
as usual, i find myself turning to YouTube as a resource for information only to be reminded that…. YouTube is So Damn White. most things non-binary and / or trans are So Damn White. a search for “non-binary” and “testosterone” turns up almost nothing but skinny, short haired, white, non-binary people, none of whom i can really see myself in. which is nothing new. that’s part of the reason i’m on YouTube in the first place.
QAC 61 – Non-Binary Gender Identity Disorder (GID) & HRT in Japan | The T Files #001
after years of whining and moaning about it, i’m finally doing it; i’ll be starting HRT soon– and in Japan, no less. 2014 Vesper, who made an entire video about NOT “transitioning” in Japan, is eating their words. what’s made me change my mind now? how does one start HRT in Japan? as a non-binary person?? Gender Identity Disorder??? in this video, i talk about all the above, as well as recap the “highlights” of my recent appointment with a psychologist to get diagnosed with GID; a necessary first step to [legally] starting HRT from scratch in Japan. [ cw: vague sex mention @ 11:27 ~ 11:55; reproductive body stuff ] …took me long enough to get this video up, geez.
thank you
thank you @gc2b-apparel for the awesome sale! and thank you to BetterHelp.com, who sponsored this video about online therapy. most of all, a huge THANK YOU to everyone who watched it and to those who went a step further and even gave BetterHelp a try, you are The Awesomest Awesome to ever Awesome. i want you all to know that it’s entirely thanks to you that i can even afford these new binders at all. after nearly 4 years of wearing the same binders, which don’t even really bind at all anymore– which in turn has caused me many “ffffff– gotta layer! ffffff– layering does nothing– FFFFF” days– it’s more than about time that i get new ones. upcoming binder review once they make it to Japan and i’ve had time to try them out? probably. perhaps what i’m looking forward to the most is seeing how Nude No. 2 looks against my skin…
re: one step forward, zero steps back?
queerascat: so, after going to an appointment with my psychiatrist and blabbering about how much being around my family fucks me up whenever i go “home” for the holidays, which i’d be doing in less than a month’s time, causing him to be like “but what if you relapse??? consider upping your meds before you go???” and me being like “at least i’m on meds at all this time around so lolololol nah”– i felt the need to just…. really DO something yesterday. so i did the something. and the something will happen 4realz for realz tomorrow. so yeah, Anxiety word vomit blogging at 9:35pm at Starbucks. over the past three weeks or so i’ve been emailing a clinic that had been recommended to me by a friend re: starting HRT. after three weeks of no response to said emails, i decided to sneak out of work yesterday (because the clinic is seemingly…
one step forward, zero steps back?
so, after going to an appointment with my psychiatrist and blabbering about how much being around my family fucks me up whenever i go “home” for the holidays, which i’d be doing in less than a month’s time, causing him to be like “but what if you relapse??? consider upping your meds before you go???” and me being like “at least i’m on meds at all this time around so lolololol nah”– i felt the need to just…. really DO something yesterday. so i did the something. and the something will happen 4realz for realz tomorrow. so yeah, Anxiety word vomit blogging at 9:35pm at Starbucks. over the past three weeks or so i’ve been emailing a clinic that had been recommended to me by a friend re: starting HRT. after three weeks of no response to said emails, i decided to sneak out of work yesterday (because the clinic is seemingly only…
Ash Hardell’s “The ABC’s of LGBT+” in Japanese!
…..annnd look what i randomly* stumbled across at the bookstore tonight. Ash Hardell’s “The ABC’s of LGBT+” in Japanese! even Amazon Japan doesn’t seem to have it yet, but somehow Kinokuniya has it? which makes absolutely no sense, but hey! not complaining. it’s a complete translation of Ash Hardell’s book, including a lot of ace and non-binary terminology such as aceflex, quoiromantic, genderfluid and maverique transliterated phonetically into Japanese approximates.** even the [English] pronouns section is translated into Japanese, which i kinda have feelings about as to how helpful that and / or phonetic translations will be for Japanese people who will be approaching this book from a cultural and linguistic context that is not the same as that of a native English / germanic or romance language speaker. that said, at a glance, there does seem to be added explaination of English grammar to help non-English speakers better understand gender…
Q&A: “Are there any gender-inclusive terms that can take the place of “ma’am” and “sir”…”
anonymous said: Are there any gender-inclusive terms that can take the place of “ma’am” and “sir” when trying to get someone’s attention? Or for addressing people when you need to be extra polite. I haven’t had any luck finding one. “Hey, you” doesn’t quite cut it. i usually just drop such words entirely rather than attempt to replace them. “excuse me, sir / ma’am.” “pardon me, sir / ma’am.” “i’m sorry, sir / ma’am, but do you…?” in writing, you could replace “sir / ma’am” with “mx” (pronounced ‘mix’), but in a verbal situation that calls for politeness, that’s probably not the way to go. anyone else have any suggestions for anon?
them diamoric enbian feels.
the more i question whether i was ever actually attracted to men at all– and if so, in what way?– the more i realize that knowing the answers to such questions isn’t particularly pertinent seeing as how i can’t see myself ever choosing to be in an intimate relationship with a man again anyway. still identify as bi and pan (more so bi these days than pan for reasons not entirely related), but my personal definitions of and relationship with these identities has changed, continues to change and will continue to change over the years. and yet my relationship with and identity as queer continues to be the truest and dearest to me of all.
