Q&A Archives | Page 34 of 36 | Queer As Cat

Q&A

Q&A: “I literally feel myself becoming less into women and more into men. What should I do?”

July 17, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi, I have identified as pans but since I have been with my girlfriend for the past 5 years and with another girl 2 years before that ppl just assume I’m lesbian which I never minded until I started to take an interest in guys. I’ve told my gf but I don’t think she understands how much this is eating me up. I literally feel myself becoming less into women and more into men. What should I do? We are planning our future but for me I’m confused about everything I’ve began to accept about myself. hi, anon. sorry for taking so long to reply. i’m sorry to hear that you’re in such a tough situation. 🙁 i can’t tell you what you should do, but i would suggest that you try again to communicate exactly how you feel to your girlfriend. this is just my opinion…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Is it normal to go back and forth on my sexuality?”

July 10, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Is it normal to go back and forth on my sexuality? Like for a year claim im bi, then like turn around and the next year say im a lesbian but then question it again 2 years later?… not everyone is always (or ever) 100% certain of their sexuality. sexuality is very, very complex. hell, for some people it even changes over time. as such, some people question their sexuality for months or years, some people are perpetually in a state of uncertainty and some eventually identify as one thing or another only to question that identity again down the road. and all of this is 100% ok. there is nothing wrong with or strange about questioning one’s sexuality. there is nothing wrong with changing the word(s) you use to describe yourself, no matter how many times you do it. regardless of whether it is just the…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “What is sexual attraction exactly?”

July 9, 2015 / No Comments

fajitasvanitas said: (Coming from an ace) what is sexual attraction exactly? Is it like “I want to have sex with this person?” Or?? coming from another ace who has never actually experienced sexual attraction first hand, that sounds about right. at least, in so far as i understand it. or as i put it in another post re: libido vs sexual attraction: for many people (including asexuals), it can be hard to distinguish between sexual attraction and sex drive/libido because they often do influence each other. if a sexual person feels sexually attracted to someone, that someone generally becomes the driving force behind one’s sex drive. however, it is totally possible to experience one without the other. in other words, sexual attraction is being attraction to/drawn to someone in such a way that that person becomes the target of one’s sexual feelings (libido).

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Is it okay to question your sexuality or romantic attraction after being certain your whole life?”

July 9, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Is it okay to question your sexuality or romantic attraction after being certain your whole life? I’ve reached a point where I’m not sure anymore and I’m very confused, both sexually and romantically. not only is it okay, it’s actually not uncommon. many people don’t begin actively questioning their sexual orientation, romantic orientation or even gender identity until later in life. you’re not alone, anon. also, while being confused about these things can be very stressful, it’s also okay and even natural to be confused. you’re going through a process of self-discovery. confusion is simply a part of that process. hang in there, anon! and all the best.

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Vesper H.

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[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “…do you think there could be other types of attraction?”

July 7, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I know a lot of the time in discussions about asexual identities people break down attraction into 4 different categories: sexual, romantic, aesthetic, sensual (well and sometimes platonic). But do you think there could be other types of attraction? Sometimes I see people and I feel /something/ but I wouldn’t really categorize it as one of those – argh its so confusing! Am I just experiencing one of those types of attraction in a strange way?? without a doubt there could be (read: probably is) more to attraction than the categories that the ace and aro communities tend to refer to. attraction, as with feelings in general, is an insanely complex thing that most certainly cannot be neatly boxed into or described by categories. it doesn’t get said enough that not everyone even finds the existing categories helpful or meaningful in describing their attraction(s). you could be experiencing…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “if someone is a cis girl who is romantically attracted to girls and nonbinary people is she considered biromantic?”

July 6, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: if someone is a cis girl who is romantically attracted to girls and nonbinary people is she considered biromantic? or does biromantic just refer to being attracted to the binary genders? biromantic describes anyone of any gender who is romantically attracted to two or more genders, be those genders binary or not, so yes. biromantic would totally describe the person in question. it’s also worth mentioning that although biromantic is more commonly used, polyromantic– ie. romantic attraction to multiple (but not necessarily all) genders– could also describe the person in question. which term a person uses ultimately comes down to personal preference.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Okay so I have a question about sexuality preferences.”

June 29, 2015 / No Comments

sorryitsluz said: Okay so I have a question about sexuality preferences. I’ve always been attracted to males (I’m female btw) in both romantic way and a sexual way. I see myself with a male ya know? But lately I’ve realized that I also began to get an interest in females. Although it’s not the same as the interest I have in males. I don’t feel like I would have sex with a female but I do like them and feel like I would flirt/go over just a friendship. Could you help describe this please?? hi.. 🙂 i have a vague idea of what you’re trying to describe, but at the same time i don’t understand enough to be specific in helping you. rather than me trying to put words to something that i’m not personally experiencing, i think it would be better if i gave you resources to help…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Do you think that would be poly or bi? I don’t feel I’m straight because of the attraction to nonbinary individuals, but…”

June 25, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I’m questioning currently. I’m female but attracted to males, demiboys, and some agender and genderfluid individuals. But mostly masculine presenting nb individuals. Do you think that would be poly or bi? I don’t feel I’m straight because of the attraction to nonbinary individuals. But I’m MOSTLY attracted to masculinity. hello, anon. i’ll be honest, this is kind of a tough ask for me to answer. it sounds like you’re looking to define your sexuality based on the appearance or gender expression of the people you are attracted to, whereas my understanding of attraction (in terms of orientations) is more based on a person’s gender identity rather than how a person presents themself. you said that you are mostly attracted to masculinity. people of literally ANY gender can present themselves in a masculine manner. does this mean that you could potentially be attracted to a masculine person of…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I have repeatedly told my dad that I am asexual and he still thinks that i’m not…”

June 25, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I have repeatedly told my dad that I am asexual and he still thinks that i’m not. He says that I need to try being in a relationship before I can call myself asexual. I’m getting really tired of this and I just want him to understand. Do you have any information I can use to educate him on it? By the way I really want to thank you for making all of your videos about asexuality! Theyve really helped me! Thanks! 🙂 thank you! but it’s rather ironic that you’d ask me this while i myself am struggling with a parent who just doesn’t get it. that said, i’m sure there’s more hope for your dad than my #$faS@a mom. 😀 the thing is, understanding something like this is a two-way street. for your dad to truly understand who you are, he has to be willing…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I discovered your youtube channel, and I don’t know why but…”

June 23, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I discovered your youtube channel, and I don’t know why but you talking about your experiences of being an ace bi/panro nb indivdiual has really helped me with figuring myself out. i’m honored to have been of help to you, anon. thank you for watching. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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