Q&A Archives | Page 33 of 36 | Queer As Cat

Q&A

Q&A: “I’m very hesistant to identify as nonbinary because as a dmab individual…”

August 27, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I’m very hesistant to identify as nonbinary because as a dmab individual, I’ve been told that I’m a male my whole life even if I haven’t neccessarily felt that way. It’s one of those things that’s so ingrained in my being that I can’t imagine anyone seeing past it. I’m cis-passing and privileged to the point that calling myself non-binary, calling myself trans feels like hijacking and claiming a struggle, an oppression that I haven’t really faced. :/ I don’t want to be problematic. Any thoughts? hello, anon. 🙂 it sounds like your policing your own identity and i think that it is fairly safe to say that many maaaany people do this/feel this way when they first begin to question their gender identity. i just want to stress that if you feel that you are not the gender that you were assigned at birth, then you…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’ve just seen a lot of discussion on my dash about straight cis ace/aro’s not belonging in the LGBT+ space…”

August 27, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi Vesper! Hope you’re well. I’ve just seen a lot of discussion on my dash about straight cis ace/aro’s not belonging in the LGBT+ space because it’s “not for them” (I’m Ace but not straight) and I found it really disheartening how so many people (Who are part of LGBT) agreed that they didn’t belong w/o listening to actual ace/aro people. To me it sounds like they want to drop the “A” altogether. I was just wondering what your thoughts are? Thanks. hi anon! sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask. sadly, people saying crap like this is nothing new. it is incredibly disheartening how people within the LGBT (and ace) community(ies) are so quick to police others’ identities. you’d think that people who have had their own identities policed wouldn’t rehash the same shit onto others, but no. everyone wants to host an…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “I’ve heard from more than one pangender person that it excludes…?”

August 14, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Re: pangender, I’ve heard from more than one pangender person that it excludes genders that one cannot experience due to not being part of that culture? I know that pride-flags-for-us has a pangender mod if you would ever want to talk to someone about their identity? I don’t much understand it, myself, but Ive definitely seen more than once that pangender people are saying it doesn’t include culture-specific genders that they can’t experience. [re: this post] fair enough, i’ve also seen pangender people say that it excludes culture-specific genders which are not accessible to them. if that is the case for pangender people in general, then i guess a more accurate definition of pangender would be “a gender that encompasses all genders which the person in question has social/cultural access to”…..? however, that still doesn’t address my first point of confusion about there being an infinite number of…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “what do you think of pangender?”

August 14, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: hey sorry, I’m autistic and am having a hard time picking a side on this because both seem to make sense to me, so I’m asking around. what do you think of pangender? what do i think….? i think that what i think doesn’t matter at all, but… personally, i do not understand pangender. i do not understand how one could be all genders. for one, a person has no way of even knowing every gender that exists. imho, there are potentially as many genders as there are people on this planet, so there are genders that one will never even encounter in one’s lifetime. secondly, there are genders which are inherently or intrinsically connected to or rooted in a specific culture. a person who is outside of this culture has no right to even suggest that they are these genders, even if only in part. just…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Is it possible to be Heteroromantic, bisexual and asexual all at the same time?”

August 10, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Is it possible to be Heteroromantic, bisexual and asexual all at the same time? it is entirely possible to be heteroromantic and __sexual at the same time. i am confused, though. what do you mean by bisexual and asexual? do you fluctuate between the two? or perhaps you experience sexual attraction towards some genders but then experience none towards other(s)? if it’s the latter, i’d personally (and this is just what i’d personally do, i am not telling you to do this) probably identify as heteroromantic bisexual rather than heteroromantic bisexual asexual. being bisexual does not mean that you experience sexual attraction indiscriminately. it’s common for there to be gender(s) that one isn’t sexually attracted to, so i wouldn’t feel a need to identify as asexual on top of bisexual. also, being asexual means that one doesn’t experience sexual attraction regardless of gender, which contradicts being bisexual.…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Can I still be considered bi?”

August 1, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I have a question, sorry if you’ve been asked similiar ones before. I’m sure you have. I’m a female and I like men and nb genders. I feel like I like other females too, but not to the same degree. I can see myself doing some sexual things with them, and I am attracted to the female body. But I don’t know if I would go all the way with sex with a woman. I feel like this somehow makes me less bi :/ I guess my question is: can I still be considered bi? yes. 150% yes. it’s totally a misconception that bi people (and multisexual/multiromantic people in general) experience attraction equally or in the same exact way towards all of the genders that they are attracted to. this is nothing more than a misconception. a very harmful and often biphobic misconception– or even stereotype. more…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “i’m wondering if i’m agender? but i’m unsure bc i don’t want to just coopt transness.”

August 1, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: i don’t understand gender. at all. it confuses me and when i see people who feel so strongly about their gender identity i respect it but i don’t get it. (i’m neurodivergent.) i know what clothes i like to wear and what genitals i have, but that’s not gender. so i’ve been calling myself cis because my assigned sex has never caused me discomfort. but the more i think about it the more i start wondering if i’m agender? but i’m unsure bc i don’t want to just coopt transness bc i’m confused… anon, it’s 110% okay to be confused. you would not be “coopting transness” by identifying as agender, i promise. not everyone is 100% sure of their gender and not everyone can even relate to the concept of gender. this does not disqualify someone from identifying as one gender or another. hell, there are plenty…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: ” I’ve always identified sexually as bi, but maybe I’m homo?”

August 1, 2015 / No Comments

coffeeartheart said: So I watched your video ‘QAC 03’ and Its a lot to take in. I’m 20 and it just occurred to me that I may be (if I got it right) a Biromantic Homosexual but I was looking for conformation: What if I love ladies sexually in both a visual and physical way and I find guys attractive in a sexual way and want them to hold me, but the moment things get even remotely sexual it’s like I thought of dead puppies. I’ve always identified sexually as bi, but maybe I’m homo? Sorry for my personal inquiries.. hi! sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask. your ask itself is most certainly not something you need apologize for! a common misconception that people have is that bisexual are assumed to be equally attracted to all of the genders that they are attracted to. while…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Quick question: is agender a part of non-binary?”

July 21, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hey! Quick question: is agender a part of non-binary? I always think so, but I never really hear them in the same context. Thanks, I know you’re usually rather busy! hi! any gender that does not fit into one of the two categories that society systematic splits gender into (ie. male / female) is commonly considered to be a non-binary gender. this includes agender as an agender person is neither male nor female. that said, how an agender person views themself in relation to the non-binary community at large is up to them. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I was curious about how one goes about figuring out how one is asexual.”

July 21, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hello, Vesper. I was curious about how one goes about figuring out how one is asexual. I know I am gender neutral, or non-binary, but I have been questioning my sexuality. I know I have a high sex drive, but I’m unsure about my sexual attraction. I am sexually attracted to two people that I have know for almost a decade now, but those are the only two I’ve ever had a sexual attraction to. Also I appoligize about going anon, but I dont feel comfortable stating my sex drive under my profile. :o) hi. 🙂 sorry for not responding sooner. you’re probably already aware of this, but figuring out one’s sexuality is an extremely personal process/journey. there is no particulare way that one goes about doing it. that said, i think that the process/journey regarding discovering one’s sexuality is similar in some ways to how one…

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Vesper H.

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