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Feedback: “I just want to tell that i’m really thankful of the romantic orientations video.”

April 26, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi! I just want to tell that i’m really thankful of the romantic orientations video. I’ve been thinking about my sexuality, “i’m straight but kinda bi but still not that bi”. Now i’ve realised i’m biromantic heterosexual&just wanted to say thanks 🙂 . (re: this video) thank you for watching and taking the time to contact me! i really appreciate it and i’m glad that the video was of help to you. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: ” I really identify with the term ‘maverique’, but I’m a little worried about being taken seriously…”

April 25, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi! I really identify with the term ‘maverique’ and am so glad to have found it, but I’m a little worried about being taken seriously with it. It’s new and I know several gender identities are often mocked by others in the community, and certainly in society in general. ‘Maverique’ fits me so well, yet I’m still wary of using it, especially considering I plan on coming out to family soon. Should I just stick to the ‘non-binary’ umbrella for simplicity’s sake or stand by my conviction?? hello. 🙂 i’m afraid i can’t really give you an answer to your question, anon. coming out is an extremely personal decision. just as you are the only one who can decide whether to come out or not, you are the only one who can decide who you come out (or don’t come out) to and what you come out…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
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Q&A: “what is romantic attraction vs sensual?”

April 14, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: i haven’t heard of sensual attraction until recently but i’m having a hard time separating it from romantic attraction? like what //is// romantic attraction vs sensual? sorry if this is a really basic question! not a “really basic question” at all! honestly, the world at large doesn’t even distinguish between different types of attraction, they’re all considered to be part of the same thing. it’s the asexual and aromantic communities that started dissecting attraction into different categories and it can be very confusing at times. within ace and aro communities, attraction is commonly broken up into 5 categories: platonic, aesthetic, sensual, romantic and sexual attraction. see these posts to find out the basics on all of them: [ 1 ] + [ 2 ]

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “to be sexually attracted to someone, do you necessarily have to fantasize about…?”

April 13, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I’m sorry if this is dumb, but I’ve always been confused about the difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction. To be sexually attracted to someone, do you necessarily have to fantasize about partaking in sexual acts with that person? I’m wondering because I have never been attracted to sex or anything related to sex. I don’t think I’ll ever have sexual fantasies about anyone, and my disinterest in sex has nothing to do with my religious or moral beliefs. Is this normal? anon, i feel like you’re asking the wrong person this question since i’ve never even experienced sexual attraction myself lol….. based on my understanding of sexual attraction, what you’ve described (fantasizing about partaking in sexual acts with someone) may be a part of sexual attraction for some people, yes. however, someone can fantasize about partaking in sexual acts without actually wanting to partake in such…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “For the longest time, I identified as demiro, for a pretty similar reason.”

April 4, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: For the longest time, I identified as demiro, for a pretty similar reason. I never understood romance for what it apparently is– I don’t now, either– but I have always had pretty intense squishes. Romance seemed like the “answer”– a grown-up, committed relationship, more than friendship. But, similar to what you’ve said, I was never the one to initiate it. My confusion really culminated when my romantic partner way back when told me that he loved me, and I…just couldn’t say it back. I got even more confused later as I kept seeing these squishes as romance, questioning my “sexuality” as I developed one on a same-gendered friend, who later shot me down horribly. Another relationship revealed that I thought of my partner as a sibling, not as anything romantic. I’m in a QPR now, after figuring things out “enough,” but there’s still a lot of confusion; I still…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’ve always had a fascination for both sexes and just came to terms about dating a transgender… I’m thinking that I’m pansexual?”

April 1, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I’ve been conflicted about my sexuality (again) lately. It started a couple weeks ago when I was talking to a friend and she made a comment about something I said. Normally I would’ve brushed it off (because people’ve always thought I was gay), but I guess it was good timing? I’ve always had a fascination for both sexes, and I just came to terms about dating a transgender, and now I’m thinking that I’m pansexual? I’ve been trying to stay away from dating women (I’m female) because of my parents. I’m a 17 year old female, don’t know if I added that The anon talking about the pansexuality dilemma I’ve also never dated anyone before (no one’s legitimately asked me out before). I’m so sorry for spamming you I’ll stop now- have a nice day (Anon from the age and pansexuality thing) hello anon, before i delve into…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “i am a 20 year old female and i have been questioning my sexuality for the longest time…”

March 29, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: hello, i am a 20 year old female and i have been questioning my sexuality for the longest time. i may have come to the conclusion i might be grey-ace? seeing that i have never really been interested into getting in a relationship, though i have had a few crushes (both female and male) and even felt sexual feelings, but i did not want to engage in any of that b/c it felt awkward for me to put myself in that position. i don’t really know what to categorize myself as. hello anon. sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask. anon, if you feel like gray-ace is a word that describes you, then i say go with that and see where it takes you. identity labels like “gray-ace” are useful for communicating information about yourself and your identity to others, as well as for finding community…

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Vesper H.

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