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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “im gay and ive known for like almost 2 years now but every time a guy talks to me i can’t help but…”

    August 22, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: hey so like im gay and ive known for like almost 2 years now but every time a guy talks to me i can’t help but ask for more attention or flirt back i have a problem w saying no a lot and maybe that’s why but is it normal ? hi, anon. i’m a bit confused by your ask and am not sure whether i’m understanding it correctly, but… a person can definitely enjoy receiving attention from someone and initiating / returning flirting with someone even if they’re not actually interested in that person in any way. some people enjoy / do those things with anyone and some people don’t, but either way it doesn’t necessarily say anything about you as a person or your sexuality. besides, you know yourself, anon. if you’re gay you’re gay! trust yourself. also, try not to compare your actions or feelings…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I was wondering if it’s still possible to be nb if you present/have a mostly femme style.”

    August 20, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I was wondering if it’s still possible to be nb if you present/have a mostly femme style. definitely. you can expressing yourself however you like and still be non-binary, anon. femme non-binary people are no less non-binary than anyone else.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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  • Feedback,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    Feedback: “Thank you so much for your “let’s talk” post because these are things…”

    August 20, 2016 /

    anonymous said: Thank you so much for your “let’s talk” post because these are things I definitely have never thought about that way and you opened my eyes to that and I will try to keep all of it in mind. I also wanted to specifically thank you for writing it out in a post as well as having the youtube video because for me that’s a major accessibility thing and I never would have been able to comprehend it the same way by watching/listening to a video. (re: this post) no problem, anon! thank you for the feedback. 🙂 i’m trying to be more mindful of accessibility by adding captions to my videos (going to caption the latest video tonight or tomorrow), but at the same time i’m aware that even with captions a video can still be inaccessible or less accessible to people… plus some people just prefer…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Japan[ese],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I was wondering if you know of any articles or websites about what it’s like being ace in Japan…”

    August 20, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi there….I was wondering if you know of any articles or websites about what it’s like being ace in Japan (especially from the perspective of any ace people who are natively Japanese). I’m just interested in reading people’s experiences, where they learned about asexuality, etc. I tried searching google, but so much acephobic garbage came up that I had to finally shut down my browser. D: aside from the things that @harris-hijiri​ writes, which aren’t necessarily about the experience of being ace in Japan, i’m afraid that i don’t know of personal writing on being ace in Japan as a Japanese person that’s written in English. i tried searching for some, but i swear if i come across another article on herbivore men or ‘the japanese sex/population crisis’ written from a Western-centric point of view i’m going to throw my laptop out the goddamn window. everything that i could…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    May 14, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “So I think that I’m aromantic?”

    August 15, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: So I think that I’m aromantic? Because like in all my 20 years of living I’ve never ever had any kind of crush or romantic feelings at all. The thing is, the idea of being in a romantic relationship sounds really nice to me. Is it possible to be aro but want to be in a romantic relationship? Like although I don’t get any kind of desire in regards to romance I still kinda want a relationship… I’m so confused it most certainly is possible to be aromantic and to want to be in a romantic relationship. while it is true that some aro people do not want to be in a romantic relationship, being aromantic is still by no means synonymous with not wanting to be in a romantic relationship. in my humble opinion, being aromantic in and of itself says nothing about the types of relationships…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    QAC 48 – Non-Binary Gender Norms & (A)sexuality: Yeah, No.

    March 27, 2016

    QAC 31 – Relationships… Meh.

    November 17, 2014
  • Art[sy Fartsy],  Q&A

    Q&A not Q&A: “Do you know the queer artist Ezra Furman?”

    August 10, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Do you know the queer artist Ezra Furman? I’m mad about him. i hadn’t heard of him, actually, but i looked him up thanks to this ask. the music style isn’t what i tend to listen to, but i still enjoyed it and the music videos especially (because cinematography as an extension of photography is totally my thing). Ezra Furman is definitely an artist that i recommend others check out. thanks for the heads up, anon! 🙂

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    June 16, 2014

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  • Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Do you have any tips for dealing with an unsupportive family?”

    August 10, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Do you have any tips for dealing with an unsupportive family? See, I came out as nb/pan awhile ago and while they weren’t happy they weren’t bad about it. However, me and my father got into a massive fight in which he yelled at me that he’ll never see me as anything other than my agab, and a whole litany of other homophobic and transphobic comments. I haven’t been talking to him because it’s far too painful to do so, but now my mother says I’ve rejected him and am causing too much tension and that I’m tearing the family apart, and that I need to get over it because I’m being selfish. How do I smooth things over with my family, because I don’t want to tear my family apart, and look after myself at the same time? This situation is causing a lot of mental strain.…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “My husband has known I’m more ace than anything else… he just told me he hasnt been telling…”

    August 8, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hey, I rly just need an outward view. My husband has known I’m more ace than anything else(pretty sure I’m full ace, pan-rom but still figuring that out)&he just told me he hasnt been telling me when he’s had sexual feelings for me because it’s “not a thing you want and I don’t want to feel like an asshole for having sexual feelings.”I explained the difference between attraction&arousal&now he is really not ok with me not having sexual attraction towards him(cause he just realised it maybe?) I have no idea what to do because he can get rly insecure and he has no idea about the pan thing. I’ve mentioned poly things too, not saying I want it but if he did I’d be okay to try it, but he said he’s done if I ever want anything like it. I guess I just feel weird about things…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    July 9, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A not Q&A: “All the pronouns in Italian are female and masculine, “it” in Italian doesn’t exist…”

    August 4, 2016 / No Comments

    johncatwatson said: I have the same problem of the last ask. All the pronouns in Italian are female and masculine, “it” in Italian doesn’t exist. The only alternative I have is say words at masculine way. (re: this post) indeed, Italian does share linguistic problems with French when it comes to gender, although (as you’ve pointed out) unlike French, Italian doesn’t even have a commonly used pronoun for “it”, among other differences. i can only imagine how frustrating that must be. :/ i’m embarrassed to say that i studied Italian for two years in college but know / remember even less of it now than i do French…! nevertheless, i used what i remember to go digging and see what i could find about non-binary anything in Italian and was really disappointed. i don’t know if it’s just my poor language skills, but what i was able to find about non-binary people…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I really have a problem when I want to speak about neutral people in French.”

    August 3, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi. I really have a problem when I want to speak about neutral people in French. For the pronouns, there’s only a translation for ‘it’ or ‘that’ and that sounds weird. ‘They’ can only be masculine or feminine. A woman and a man, it becomes masculine. Misogynistic. The same for words and adjectives. You can only be a masculine or a feminine trans. You can’t be happy, you’re a happy girl or a happy boy. Articles, pronouns & adjectives are not neutral. So how can I speak about you for example? yeah… as a native English speaker who speaks only a smidgen of (vraiment un petit brin de) French, i can only imagine how much of a pain in the ass it must be to speak in a gender neutral way about someone… and as you’ve pointed out, there’s also a lot of patriarchy and misogyny build into…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    June 14, 2013
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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