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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • Feedback,  Japan[ese],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A not Q&A: “I had no idea that they had any sort of queer events since it seems pretty taboo in most Asian countries.”

    March 1, 2017 /

    anonymous said: I’m so sorry that terfs hijacked your post like that omg. I’m a big fan of Japanese culture and I want to visit one day and I had no idea that they had any sort of queer events since it seems pretty taboo in most Asian countries. Despite terfs soiling it, I actually learned something new so thank you so much! (re: this post) no problem, anon. no matter how taboo or even illegal it may be, there will always be queer people in any given country who do more than survive; they live their life and at times come together to support each other and enjoy each others company, just like anywhere else. it’s more a matter of how private or well-known such information happens to be and i’m more than happy to help if i can re: Japan.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “i’ve only ever felt feelings for boys but about a month ago i made a new friend, she’s bi…”

    March 1, 2017 / No Comments

    anonymous said: i’ve only ever felt feelings for boys but about a month ago i made a new friend, she’s bi, i can see myself holding her hand and kissing her and i’m okay with that, i wouldn’t mind that. i’ve never felt this way about a girl before and honestly i’m so confused. i’ve never seen myself in the way w a girl before. most of my friends are bi, or gay, i am one out of the three straights in our group. but i’m not sure anymore any advice ? it can be really confusing, disorientating and even scary to be faced with feelings / experiences that you’ve never had before. perhaps try thinking of it as an opportunity to explore something new rather than it being something that you have to figure out about yourself. life in general is an adventure that we’re all living rather than…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 11 – Growing Up Ace (Asexual)

    July 21, 2013

    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2016 selfies

    May 14, 2016

    romantic orientation pride

    May 29, 2013
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Japan[ese],  Queer[ness]

    tfw TERFs.

    March 1, 2017 / No Comments

    …mmm, that feel when you’re getting an influx of notes because a certain post of yours is being circulated among TERF lesbians praising Japan for its trans misogyny. edit: oh joy, of course someone had to go there. trigger warning for all of the links in this post, but rape warning for that last one.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 48 – Non-Binary Gender Norms & (A)sexuality: Yeah, No.

    March 27, 2016

    the ‘Sin City’ asexual

    January 10, 2019

    QAC 72 – Outted To Religious Mom: 4 Years Later | HRT | Non-Binary Relationship || #ItGetsBetter?

    September 18, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A

    Q&A not Q&A: “just wanted to comment towards your post about the fracturing of the asexual community…”

    February 26, 2017 / No Comments

    anonymous said: hey i just wanted to comment towards your post about the fracturing of the asexual community. i think that has to do with the history the ace community has on tumblr. two, three years ago, the argument wasn’t whether aces belonged to the community; the argument was ‘you aren’t asexual if you aren’t sex-repulsed’, which was debated and disputed for a very long time until terms like grey-, demi-, that sort of stuff started to come out and become more popular and accepted. the discourse used to be ‘a is for asexual, not allies’ and about being sex repulsed. and i think that the struggle to find validity in /their own community/ has caused a lot of splintering that has affected how people treat the ace community today. NOT to say they are to blame for how they’re treated, by any means, i don’t want it to come…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “i am asexual”

    February 12, 2013

    QAC 54 – Confusing Gender Envy & Admiration with Attraction || Non-Binary | Asexual

    October 10, 2016

    Studio Ghibli’s 『思い出のマーニー』 // “When Marnie Was There”

    August 11, 2014
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Queer[ness]

    allo by default: hypocrisy in “aspec” spaces

    February 25, 2017 / 3 Comments

    ….you know, considering how much talk there is in the ace community about how asexuality and aromanticism exist on a spectrum– of “grayness” and differing types of attractions with occasional attention paid to diversity of one kind or another– it both amazes and frustrates me how so many of the same people who speak of these things still seem to operate based on the very same assumption that exists within society at large: that everyone is (allo)romantic and / or (allo)sexual by default unless explicitly stated otherwise. while i understand that aces (and aros) internalize and subsequently have to unlearn amatonormativity and sexnormativity (and heteronormativity) just the same as everyone else and that there’s also likely an element of self-defense / self-preservation involved, it is beyond frustrating every time i see or am subjected to microaggressions from aces who adhere to the very same “______ by default unless otherwise stated” mindset that…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    ?Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2017: Parade & Ace Meetup

    April 29, 2017

    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2016: Asexual & Trans / Non-binary Awesomeness!

    May 14, 2016

    “You are freaking perfect how you are.”

    June 19, 2018
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Japan[ese],  Mental [Un]health

    …頑張るから。

    February 24, 2017 / No Comments

    as a follow up on this post about losing my job and a general life update, i guess: after a month of what felt like running a 40km marathon of creating multiple resumes, writing cover letter after cover letter, waking up at 4am to catch the 6:20am train to Tokyo and back for interviews and such all before going to work for 8 hours that same day– i’ve finally got a new job…! and not just any job, a job that’s better than my current job in every possible way minus paid vacation– ouch. the new job is going to be really challenging for me because while i have experience teaching high school students, i have never actually taught at a high school let alone an international one! as much as i could jump out of my own skin right now out of anxiety, among other things, i’m also excited…! except for the…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    literal “social distancing” from the ace community

    April 1, 2020

    genderfuck

    February 7, 2013

    01.12.2018: T Day à la Snapchat.

    January 12, 2018
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “…being nonbinary, does it ever get difficult to navigate different aspects of your life because of you being nonbinary?”

    February 22, 2017 / No Comments

    anonymous said: So I wanted to ask being nonbinary, does it ever get difficult to navigate different aspects of your life because of you being nonbinary, specifically things like dealing with career, or a hobby or a passion that you have, where it feels like you have to hide or compromise who you are in order to retain that aspect of your life. I ask because right now i’m thinking of transitioning and even though i’m financially independant it feels like my different interests are tying me down 1/2 and that in order not to loose those interests I have to compromise various aspects of me being nonbinary, like for instance I do singing and karate and it feels like if I ever wanted to start transitioning I’d have to give those things up or say that i’m binary trans in order to justify transitioning, It feels like i’m at…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 58 – Escaping Womanhood || Non-Binary | AFAB | Internalized Misogyny

    August 16, 2017

    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2016 selfies

    May 14, 2016

    パレードの皆さん、お疲れ

    April 26, 2015
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Mental [Un]health,  Queer[ness]

    anemia & medical misgendering

    February 21, 2017 / No Comments

    …really frustrated with how i can’t say that i’m anemic without people in general– but especially doctors– automatically relating my anemia to the assumed fact that i have a uterus that makes my life hell once a month. like seriously, could you not? the socially established association of a medical condition with a specific gender, with a specific sex, with a specific bodily function is so inescapable that as an AFAB person who’s assumed to be a woman, the second i mention being anemic to a doctor their thoughts automatically go to assumptions about my gender / sex / bodily functions and my anemia immediately gets chalked up to anemia due to blood loss. so inescapable that here in Japan at least iron supplements are often marketed specifically towards women. so inescapable that if i mention being anemic to a woman and she’ll immediately offer up earnest words of empathy…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    …ok, so i lied about not posting sappy cat updates till i bring him home.

    September 12, 2017

    2015 in selfies

    December 17, 2015

    QAC 20 – Aspirations, Goals & More For 2014

    December 29, 2013
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “…does anyone ever talk about how jobs can limit one’s choices for gender presentation?”

    February 21, 2017 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Concerning being either GNC or nonbinary, does anyone ever talk about how jobs can limit one’s choices for gender presentation? I’m in hard science, which tends to have much stricter standards of “professional presentation” (and thus gender-performance), than the humanities. I couldn’t get away with half of the presentation stuff that people on Tumblr endlessly espouse if I want to actually get a job in my chosen field, which is then used as proof that I’m a faker and trend-follower. unfortunately i don’t have any links on hand to offer you, but i have seen many people both online and offline talk about the limitations (or even complete inability) that they face regarding being able to present themselves in a way that reflects their gender (or lack thereof)– both in regards to on the job and as a student because of standards re: “professionalism”. especially here in Japan…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Snapchat rant #163

    July 2, 2016

    QAC 54 – Confusing Gender Envy & Admiration with Attraction || Non-Binary | Asexual

    October 10, 2016

    #TRP2017

    May 11, 2017
  • Feedback,  Q&A

    Feedback: “i just read your post on HuffPo and I just love it…”

    February 21, 2017 /

    inariedwards said: hi i just read your post on HuffPo and I just love it and it was lovely to see someone the same age as me to talk about being late to the non-binary thing like I was, y’know? 🙂 so anyway, this is just a hello and a thank you 🙂 have an excellent day (re: this post) hello and thanks both for reading the article and for the kind message. 🙂 indeed, it means a lot to me whenever i come across something written / made by someone my age or older pertaining to both their age and being non-binary. i wish i came across things like that more often… again, thanks for the message. have a great day yourself!

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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