i don’t know why, but it only just occurred to me that in referring to myself as a “queer ace”, as i sometimes do, i may be inadvertently giving off the impression that i don’t think that aces are inherently queer…? that “queer” modifies my aceness rather than encompasses it…??
anonymous said: I showed a friend your post about how to say you’re nonbinary in Japanese, but he’s a demiboy and there wasn’t anything for demiboys specifically on the list. I was trying to figure out what would work (barring katakana), and I came up with 半男、やや男、and 男の一種. Which of these would be better (or is there already a Japanese term?) (re: this post) sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask! i’m afraid that i haven’t come across a Japanese equivalent (or even approximate) to “demiboy” (or to demigenders in general). the closest thing that i can think of is the commonly used: FtMよりのXジェンダー / FtM yori no x-gender /(an) FtM-ish non-binary (person) 男よりのXジェンダー / otoko yori no x-gender /(a) mannish non-binary (person) ………mmmm, yeah. *cough* as i said, these phrases are commonly used in Japanese, but your friend may not feel comfortable using them. understandably so. i would caution…
anonymous said: your blog is my absolute favorite and I just love you?? …this ask was sent two months ago, but i remember getting it after having had a pretty rough day. i’m horrible at accepting compliments, but this made me feel a little better. thanks anon. <3
anonymous said: I heard that “nonsexual” means non-aro ace and “asexual” means aro ace in Japan. I’m still confused about general Japanese terms in the ace community. If you don’t mind, could you please explain the most commonly used terms? hi, anon. you heard correctly, “asexual” (Aセクシャル) doesn’t mean what it means in English in Japan.
[ … ] There isn’t any classroom, or pre-testosterone counseling session that prepared me for what it means to become America’s boogieman; a black man. What I was first acquainted with as a gender nonconforming dyke and what was further illuminated after engaging in hormone therapy and beginning to “pass” as a man of color, is that without organically derived psychological schemas, black masculinity is suspended in others’ projections, desires / fantasies, or agendas. [ … ] – Parker T Hurley (”Outside the XY: Queer, Black and Brown Masculinity”, a @bklynboihood anthology edited by Morgan Mann Willis) came across this gem (among others) in my reading today. the first highlighted / bolded part (emphasis mine) in particular touches upon something that i’ve been thinking about for years now, but haven’t gotten up the nerve to explicitly talk about for various reasons. the latter highlighted / bolded part is all too…
where i finally got to meet Japanese ace activist @harris-hijiri! actually, we both went to Tokyo to meet with Emie, an ace artist from Sweden who’s debuting her video art piece “Sexual Disorientation” (cw: genitals, masturbation) in Tokyo this Thursday. Emie is also working on an asexual documentary called “Aces of Baes”, for which both Harris-Hijiri and i were interviewed. how ironic is it that it took a globe-trotting Swed to finally bring the two of us together, even though we both live in the same country? lol anyway, it was a pleasure to meet them both. we should do it again sometime. 🙂
for over 15 years i’ve struggled with Depression and Anxiety without therapy or medical intervention for numerous reasons, but having had Depression and Anxiety mop the floor with my ass for the past several months, i’ve finally bitten the bullet and sought out help in the form of antidepressants. in this video, i talk about my recent bout with depression and anxiety, my first psychiatric appointment and my first week on antidepressants. don’t want to watch the whole thing? don’t blame you, i’m longwinded as fuck. here are some jump points: ?00:31 – deteriorating mental health ?06:16 – first psychiatric appointment ?11:03 – antidepressants: the bad ?16:42 – antidepressants: the good …so this happened.
anonymous said: is there a sexuality between straight and bisexual? coz i used to think i’m straight but now i’m a bit attracted to girls??? maybe i’m simply just bi-curious??? if you mean is there a word for being primarily attracted to people that society has decided are “the opposite” gender from you, but occasionally / fleetingly / sporadically / spontaneously being attracted to people society has decided are “the same” gender as you, heteroflexibility, bi-curiosity and bisexuality come to mind. heteroflexibility is probably closest to the word that you’re looking for, but at the same time i hate to see bi-curiosity being dismissed as being “simply just” anything like this. society as a whole has this ridiculous tendency to be dismissive of bi-curiosity and people who feel a tie to this word, with such bullshit quips as “everyone’s a little bi!” similarly, people are quick to decide that someone isn’t bi…
got home from work, made dinner and sat down to watch another episode of Black Mirror on Netflix before bed, as one does. was totally not prepared for what turned out not to be the queerbaiting i first assumed it to be, but to instead be a heart-wrenching queer romance between a bi / multiple gender attracted black woman and a gay woman exploring intimacy for the first time. not only was the story itself a tear-jerker, the characters themselves were well-developed and included quite possibly the most in-depth and positive representation that i’ve ever seen of a bi black woman character in particular in popular media. even consent– something that a lot of media doesn’t put enough thought into– was handled fairly well (imho) and the episode certainly explored things that other media tends to only dance around if touch upon at all, all crammed into a 60 minute…
anonymous said: need help finding a word for my gender identity, if possible? agender was close, but its not that i dont have a gender, its that my gender is neutral. neutrois appears to be the closest thing, from the definitions ive seen. while i do have dysphoria & have thought abt certain aspects of transitioning, and a desire to be neutral in appearance – all aspects of definitions of neutrois ive seen – it appears to /require/ these things. and that heavy medical/clinical emphasis makes me v uncomfortable. oh, anon… if only you knew how ironic if feels to be on the receiving end of this ask. and in fact, i’ve been on the receiving end of an ask like this before. you aren’t alone in your discomfort. the irony, though? that i feel the same way and have felt this way since 2012, back when neutrois was much…
