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ｈ／Ｈｉｓｔｏｒｙ.
i have never been a fan of History. from as early as elementary school, i learned that when people said "History" they really only meant theirs and not mine. by junior high school it was clear that my own history—that is, the history of people who are Black and American like me, in so far as U.S. History textbooks were concerned...
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that feel when no words
that feel when you finally have a use for relationship terminology, but none of it makes sense to you because all of it is predicated on the assumption that you subscribe to the dichotomy of “romantic” vs “[queer]platonic”– not to even mention the equally taxing concept that is “alterous”.
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Re: Q&A not Q&A: “There’s a shoutout to you…”
queerascat: i was not, but i am now. thanks! *goes to Facebook* *thanks the artist* *sends the comic to mom* *waits for usual passive aggressive remar– goes to bed instead* did i call it or what? of course she went the route of trying to guilt me for the fact that she bought me tickets ‘home’ for the holidays, despite the fact that she knows good and well that i don’t exactly want to ‘come home’ for the holidays to begin with. “…come home to see the family that you love–” lolololol look at that sarcasm right there. so passive. much aggressive. such my life.
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a 1.5 hour conversation with a random Nigirian
…soooo, i just had a 1.5 hour conversation with a random Nigirian guy at Starbucks and i need to let off some steam. so, as you’d predict, i met random Nigirian guy completely randomly when i got off a train one night after work and he came chasing after me to strike up a conversation. me being the overly nice person that i am who finds it hard to say “i’m tired, go away.” ended up engaged in a short conversation with him. he seemed like a nice enough guy and i couldn’t help but feel for his situation of being the sole non-Japanese person at his workplace and not having anyone to talk to because he can’t speak Japanese. when he asked to keep in touch after i finally got up the nerve to tell him i had to go i obliged, although i knew well enough by now not to…
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Q&A not Q&A: “I hate discourse!”
anonymous said: I hate discourse! Honesty it makes me feel like crap whenever I see it. I want it to stop. I hate that asexuality/ aromanticim has become a punching bag for a portion of the tumblr community and acceptable to mock. *gah* *nods* ‘discourse’ really is frustrating, among a million other things. not gonna lie, i’ve very much enjoying my time offline with Cal or online with Netflix– anywhere that isn’t Tumblr tbh. i’m a huge advocate of dropping Tumblr like it’s a bad habit when it gets to be too much (or when life happenings just otherwise makes Tumblr “eh”)– or alternatively, blocking (temporarily or not) people who bring (inadvertently or not) posts from the ‘discourse’ side of Tumblr onto your dashboard. alternatively alternatively, use browser extensions to block keywords or tags to help keep yourself from seeing such posts without out completely blocking out a person or their blog entirely. there…
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missiles and tweets.
….it’s 6:44am, i have to get ready for work, no time to recount things for Tumblr so just screencapping, but like. if the news of this ever makes it to the US enough for the US government who is responsible for Japan’s military defense to actually care, just know that i’m okay but just like what the fuck right now and i do not look forward to whatever shit response the Cheeto eventually puts out that just makes things even worse for people on my side of the world.
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beyond shitty.
…can i just say that it is beyond shitty that despite questioning my romantic orientation openly for the first time 2 years ago and having explicitly disidentified with ”-romantic” anything for a year at the very least, now more than ever i feel like i could and would never identify as being anywhere on the aromantic spectrum because of negative experiences that i continue to have re: having both my identity and my experiences assumed, ignored and polarized by some aces on the aromantic spectrum? because yeah, that’s really shitty imho. edit: oh lookie here. rediscovered a video where i openly questioned my romantic orientation for the first time back in 2014. oh well, doesn’t matter now. never identifying as aro or -romantic anything anyway.
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allo by default: hypocrisy in “aspec” spaces
….you know, considering how much talk there is in the ace community about how asexuality and aromanticism exist on a spectrum– of “grayness” and differing types of attractions with occasional attention paid to diversity of one kind or another– it both amazes and frustrates me how so many of the same people who speak of these things still seem to operate based on the very same assumption that exists within society at large: that everyone is (allo)romantic and / or (allo)sexual by default unless explicitly stated otherwise. while i understand that aces (and aros) internalize and subsequently have to unlearn amatonormativity and sexnormativity (and heteronormativity) just the same as everyone else and that there’s also likely an element of self-defense / self-preservation involved, it is beyond frustrating every time i see or am subjected to microaggressions from aces who adhere to the very same “______ by default unless otherwise stated” mindset that…
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anemia & medical misgendering
…really frustrated with how i can’t say that i’m anemic without people in general– but especially doctors– automatically relating my anemia to the assumed fact that i have a uterus that makes my life hell once a month. like seriously, could you not? the socially established association of a medical condition with a specific gender, with a specific sex, with a specific bodily function is so inescapable that as an AFAB person who’s assumed to be a woman, the second i mention being anemic to a doctor their thoughts automatically go to assumptions about my gender / sex / bodily functions and my anemia immediately gets chalked up to anemia due to blood loss. so inescapable that here in Japan at least iron supplements are often marketed specifically towards women. so inescapable that if i mention being anemic to a woman and she’ll immediately offer up earnest words of empathy…
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that feel when
self-proclaimed allies look to you for guidance on how they can be a better ally while consciously or not expecting their hand to be held or their fragile feelings to be spared along the way; simultaneously oblivious every time they trample all over your feelings, perpetrating the very thing they claim to be against because they’re so focused on the elephant in the room that they pay no mind to their own everyday microaggressions.
