as an AFAB non-binary person with zero interest in "passing" as male, i never thought that i'd still be on HRT nearly 2 years after having started… and yet here we are.
two months after moving back to America from Japan, i've finally done what i've been dreaming about doing for years...! that is, cutting off my butt-length locs of 11 years-- i.e., the #BigChop...
content warning: homophobia, suicidal ideation …so, my sister sent me this video out of the blue today. she often sends me links to all kinds of random, obscure videos from the depths of YouTube, to the point that i didn’t bother clicking the link until hours after she’d sent it, thinking it to be another one of those videos. needless to say, i was pleasantly surprised. my appreciation of this video is beyond words. <3
it just occurred to me (while porting over more old posts) that Queer As Cat, the YouTube channel, has been a thing for 5 years now as of May 11th. hmm……
so i finally got to see Black Panther again ( #WAKANDAFOREVER AHHHHHH–) and am now at a Starbucks basking in the afterglow of the movie, about to attempt to herd my thoughts into a more coherent cacophony of words than exists in my head at present. wish me luck.
anonymous asked: Hey! Since you’re living in Japan and are a Lgbt Person of colour, do you get discriminated or something like that? (Cuz You’re not white (asian) or because you’re lgbt+?) I want to move to Japan (or south korea) and I’m also a poc and Trans*, so I wanna know how it is to live there as a Lgbt+ Person of colour. (Sry for my english haha it’s not my first language~) hi. 🙂 ahhh, this is a complicated question with complicated answers, but the short of it is “yes” regarding discrimination / prejudice based on race and “yes and no” regarding discrimination / prejudice based on sexuality / gender. you might be interested in checking out my #black in japan tag and / or #LGBTQIA in Japan page for more information, but generally speaking… life for me in Japan may or may not be anything like what life for you…
blaqueer: From a mixed-race household with Middle Eastern and Irish heritage, Riyadh – with his unusual name and fair complexion – knows first-hand how judgemental the gay community online can be. With his perceived ‘white privilege’, he explores the casual racism in the LGBTQ+ community and asks, when does preference become prejudice? Queer Britain is a six-part series, and new episodes will be released each Sunday morning. cw: blatant racism, sexual objectification, explicit genitalia & sex talk… mind your triggers. there was one part of this where i had to pause the video (multiple times) and silently scream streams of expletives. guess when that was. come on, i dare you. suffice it to say that by the time the episode finally moved on from focusing on the gay scene, i was legit relieved. even so, residual silent screaming.
as usual, i find myself turning to YouTube as a resource for information only to be reminded that…. YouTube is So Damn White. most things non-binary and / or trans are So Damn White. a search for “non-binary” and “testosterone” turns up almost nothing but skinny, short haired, white, non-binary people, none of whom i can really see myself in. which is nothing new. that’s part of the reason i’m on YouTube in the first place. beyond that, a bigger problem that i find myself faced with is that the very image / concept of “androgyny” or stereotypical “non-binary appearance” is inherently linked to whiteness. i want people to pause before they misgender me (seeing as how they will inevitably misgender me regardless) and the best way to bring about that is, presumably, androgynous appearance. however, androgyny feels unobtainable to me as a black person, because no matter what i…
as usual, i find myself turning to YouTube as a resource for information only to be reminded that…. YouTube is So Damn White. most things non-binary and / or trans are So Damn White. a search for “non-binary” and “testosterone” turns up almost nothing but skinny, short haired, white, non-binary people, none of whom i can really see myself in. which is nothing new. that’s part of the reason i’m on YouTube in the first place.
thank you @gc2b-apparel for the awesome sale! and thank you to BetterHelp.com, who sponsored this video about online therapy. most of all, a huge THANK YOU to everyone who watched it and to those who went a step further and even gave BetterHelp a try, you are The Awesomest Awesome to ever Awesome. i want you all to know that it’s entirely thanks to you that i can even afford these new binders at all. after nearly 4 years of wearing the same binders, which don’t even really bind at all anymore– which in turn has caused me many “ffffff– gotta layer! ffffff– layering does nothing– FFFFF” days– it’s more than about time that i get new ones. upcoming binder review once they make it to Japan and i’ve had time to try them out? probably. perhaps what i’m looking forward to the most is seeing how Nude No. 2 looks against my skin…
