fuck your Oppression Olympics
if you want to base your personal identity as part of the LGBTQIA community on the oppression that you face, be my guest. however, do not for a second think that you get to base my or anyone else’s identity as part of the LGBTQIA community on the oppression that any of us face. as if you even fucking know the oppression that i or anyone else face(s). as if everything that i am or anyone else is in relation to the LGBTQIA community could even be boiled down to the oppression that any of us face. seriously. fuck you. as a black person who is also non-binary, queer and ace it is so incredibly mindfucking to me how some people on [Tumblr] and in general insist on trying to boil the connection that i or anyone else has with the LGBTQIA community down to oppression. fucking oppression. and not just oppression, presumed oppression. how the…
Q&A not Q&A: “Hi again, I’m the anon who sent the ask about my friend saying ace/aro ppl are not LGBT…”
anonymous said: Hi again, I’m the anon who sent the ask about my friend saying ace/aro ppl are not LGBT+. I guess the reason why I asked here is because I wanted to get a broader opinion other than just hers because I was taken aback when she said that. I’ve read up on it a bit more and I get that Ace/Aro can be cis and hetero but the ace/aro identity is still there…. so I literally don’t get how they can’t be part of LGBT+ according to her, so I’ll talk it out with her. Thanks for the resources, good stuff. (re: this post) based on my observations, often the people who focus their gatekeeping efforts on cisgender heteroromantic asexuals and / or cisgender heterosexual aromantics are people who view asexuality and / or aromanticism as a “blank slate” or lack of orientation. something to be overlooked in…
Q&A: “[my friend] told me that Ace/Aro ppl are not inherently part of the LGBT+ community unless if they identify as LGBT…”
anonymous said: Hi Vesper. I’m still learning about all the different genders and sexualities and spectrums and I was talking to my friend the other day who’s more knowledgable than I am, and she told me that Ace/Aro ppl are not inherently part of the LGBT+ community unless if they identify as LGBT. I’m a little confused by this. Are asexuality and aromanticism not a part of LGBT+? She basically implied that bc Ace/Aro ppl are not part of LGBT+ they do not face oppression. I’m sorry if this is confusing. hello, anon. what your friend told you is nothing but her opinion and it’s an opinion that many, myself included, disagree with. you may feel like your friend is more knowledgeable than you are about gender and sexuality, but she is by no means an expert on the oppression that others do or do not face and it’s rather…
Q&A: “What are your thoughts on the ‘ace discourse’?”
anonymous said: Hi! I really like your blog, and I’ve seen a few of your videos, you’re really cool and you helped me a lot on understanding my identity. I wanted to ask you, but of course you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, what are your thoughts on the ‘ace discourse’? hello and thanks for the kind words. 🙂 i’m going to be a bit pedantic and ask what exactly you’re referring to when you say ‘the ace discourse’ because i feel like this phrase is being used to refer to a lot of different (although related) stuff that’s been going on on Tumblr for a while now. do you mean how some people insist that inclusion in ‘the LGBT community’ is based on oppression? that aces aren’t oppressed at all? that aces are oppressed, but not for being ace? do you mean how some people insist that…
Q&A not Q&A: “They don’t face opression at all is what I believe.”
anonymous said: They don’t face opression at all is what I believe. I don’t think it’s about ((enough)) I think it’s about being opressed at all and they aren’t. They face a stigma and I’ll call that shit out when I see it but, I don’t think it’s opression at all? Idk just my opinion. i understand that that’s your opinion, but i’m not sure what you want me to say? like i’ve said before, imho whether heteroromantic aces face oppression or not is beside the point. my stance on whether they have the right to identify as a part of the LGBTQIA+ community remains a firm “yes” because like i said, oppression isn’t the determining factor for me. if you’re looking for me to take a stance on whether heteroromantic aces face oppression at all or whether what they face is stigma, i’m afraid i’m not going to give you…
Q&A: “the thing about defining the community based on oppression is that…”
anonymous said: the thing about defining the community based on oppression is that like, none of us can even really compare our oppression to trans women/transfeminine ppl (and more specifically trans WOC). transmisogyny is significantly more oppressive and violent than any homophobia, biphobia, a-phobia, etc that cis people, regardless of sexuality, face. If a line is going to be drawn based on “how oppressed are you”, then it makes no sense to lump, idk, cis white gay guys in with twoc IMHO. Any non-cishet person who doesnt experience transmisogyny and tries to say that ace people arent oppressed enough to be in ‘the community’ is directly comparing their own oppression to that of trans women of color which is really inappropriate imho. IDK just my two cents on the matter. (re: this post) i get the point you’re making, but i’m not really comfortable with how it’s being made because…
Q&A not Q&A: “I think opression is a determining factors for the LGBT+ community…”
anonymous said: I think opression is a determining factors for the LGBT+ community, isnt the opression we shared what ended up bringing us together (re: this post) …this response started out short, but then it turned into me venting. sorry, anon. sure, for some it is a major– possibly even a determining– factor of their personal identity as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community. but like i said, imho, it isn’t the determining factor. even if one person does feel like it is the determining factor of their personal identity, it is a mistake to then assume that that holds true for everyone. not everyone’s identity is determined in part or entirely by their oppression. on top of that, oppression isn’t even something one can measure to determine whether someone is “oppressed enough” to have the right to identify as a part of the community. if someone was to try and measure…
