non-binary Archives | Page 10 of 25 | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “I have a question about the definition of bisexuality.”

October 18, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi! I have a question about the definition of bisexuality. I’ve been using a “same + different” -definition and that’s what I’ve seen being used the most. “Two or more” is alright, but if “same gender” is not required, why is it not under heterosexuality? I’m assuming the reason is political, but I want to be sure. hello anon, i’m guessing that this ask is related to this post where i say that i personally find defining bi as attraction to “same and different / other gender(s)” to be problematic. there’s actually nothing “political” about why a person doesn’t have to experience attraction towards people of the “same” or “similar” gender to be bi. that is, unless you consider the feelings and experiences of bi non-binary people to be “political,” which i sincerely hope not. the reason why i personally, as well as many others, find the “same and different / other” definition of bi to…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “…it makes me feel invalid whenever she does that. if you have any advice, i’d appreciate it.”

October 17, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: my friend’s best friend recently came out as trans and my friend only refers to them as their preferred name. there’s nothing wrong with that, except i told the same friend my preferred name a year ago and she rarely uses it, even when it’s just us. we’ve talked about it, but she still continues to use my birth name around me. i’m not really sure what to do, since we’ve already talked about it, but it makes me feel invalid whenever she does that. if you have any advice, i’d appreciate it wow, what an incredibly shitty thing to do. :/ this isn’t actual advice so much as it just being what i personally might do in such a situation, but…. i imagine that i’d handle this in much the same way i would someone who insists on misgendering me. that is, i’d stop responding to the…

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Vesper H.

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October 16, 2016 / No Comments

archiving Twitter stuff. again. i should really stop saying meaningful (to me) things on Twitter where it’ll disappear into my feed beyond retrieval. that or, you know, i could just rehash the same thoughts directly on Tumblr… but where’s the fun in that? anyway, random thoughts on being bi / pan and enbian– wooo…. but see, it gets even ““gayer”” because by “nbs like themself” i totally mean non-binary people who are like me and i don’t just mean in that they’re also non-binary. for one, binary people aren’t the only people who can be (hyper)masculine and / or (hyper)feminine. secondly, masculinity / femininity isn’t even a defining factor of attraction for me, even if it can be a potential point of aversion… my understanding of my own attraction may be nearly as nebulous as my actual experience with it, but if there’s one thing that i know for sure it’s that any attraction i do…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Would it be possible for someone to identify as maverique & neutrois?”

October 14, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Would it be possible for someone to identify as maverique & neutrois? Or would that person have to identify as either the latter or the former? yes, a person can be both maverique and neutrois. there are no rules or limitations as to what a person can be or how a person can identify. if someone is maverique and neutrois, there’s no reason why they couldn’t identify as maverique and neutrois.

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I really want to thank you for introducing me to the term “maverique” because…”

October 14, 2016 /

anonymous said: I really want to thank you for introducing me to the term “maverique” because I think I’ve found something that describes me in a way. I’ve always felt like I wasn’t a boy or a girl, and that I was simply just myself. A person. So now I’m glad to have found a term that describes that. ;v; Thank you so much. being maverique, someone with a distinct gender that is independent from both male and female gender can be tough! everyone regardless of gender is just being themself, a person, but when you don’t even have a word to conceptualize your gender with because everything else is tied to male and / or female…. yeah. glad you found a word that works for you, anon. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “Your video on gender envy/admiration really spoke to me.”

October 14, 2016 /

anonymous said: Your video on gender envy/admiration really spoke to me. When I figured out my aroace identity and my predominate aesthetic attraction to femme people I didn’t quite understand how I had convinced myself I was straight for so long. I feel like later after I realized I was masc non binary it explained more of my assumed attraction to masc people as being more along the lines of “i want to be like them”. ( re: this post ) ah, i can relate to the “convinced myself i was straight for so long” thing. i very much feel like gender envy / admiration (among other things) played a part in me falling for the whole “straight by default” (among other) shit that society fed me from Day 1 and that i likely would have broken free of that sooner had i recognized gender envy / admiration for what it…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “do you think gender admiration can only happen to trans people or to queer people in general?”

October 13, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: do you think gender admiration can only happen to trans people or to queer people in general? sorry if this bothers you i’m most certainly not an expert on gender admiration / envy, mind you, but… i feel like anyone has the potential to experience it. having said that, i’m currently under the impression that it’s very much a thing among LGBTQIA people and that some are more apt to experience it than others…? and as always with anything of this nature, different people experience it in different ways. for someone who isn’t cis, gender admiration / envy may be related to gender dysphoria and / or gender euphoria, for example, whereas for a cis person it may not be.

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “your video on attraction & gender envy was rly interesting!”

October 13, 2016 /

anonymous said: your video on attraction & gender envy was rly interesting! Im also ace and nb and i think about it a lot about lately. I struggle to separate my looks-based/aesthetic attraction for masc ppl from dysphoria based envy and I thought it was just me! ( re: this post ) with 30+ people and counting on YouTube and many more elsewhere commenting that they’ve also had similar experiences, it looks like neither of us was as alone in our experiences as we’d thought. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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QAC 54 – Confusing Gender Envy & Admiration with Attraction || Non-Binary | Asexual

October 10, 2016 / No Comments

it’s come to my attention recently that some feelings that i assummed were attraction may have not been attraction at all, but rather “gender envy” or “gender admiration”– feelings of admiration or envy towards someone else’s gender be it their self-expression, gender identity, (lack of) gender roles or socially imposed gender norms– anything pertaining to a person’s gender. never heard of gender envy or gender admiration before…? i’m not surprised, since i just pulled the terms out of my ass for lack of a better way of referring to these gender feels that i’m attempting to navigate. as someone who’s both non-binary and asexual i feel like both of these things have played a part in me mistaking gender envy / admiration for attraction. this is something that i’m just now beginning to give thought to, so please bear with me as i stumble around trying to talk about things.…

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Vesper H.

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…one of many examples of why navigating セクマイ / LGBTQIA spaces in Japan can be painful at times.

October 7, 2016 / No Comments

first the context: the above screenshot is from the registration form for a meetup that i’ll be attending that is exclusively for trans men and non-binary people who are AFAB who have not medically transitioned in any way. the meetup is being hosted by a group that itself is a support group for trans men and non-binary people who are AFAB and who have not medically transitioned in any way + their partners………..

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Vesper H.

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