QAC 75.5 – Life Update: Leaving Japan?! | Legal Name Change | Goodbye Locs
over 11 years after first leaving America for Japan, the time has come for me to finally try my hand at life back in the States…
QAC 55.5 – Life Update: Post-Election Mental Health | Staying In Japan | Outted To Dad
two weeks ago any vague plans that i’d had for my immediate future were abruptly shattered when America elected Trump as the next president of the United States. two weeks later, i’m still struggling to cope with the news and the resulting blow to my already poor mental health. in this video, i give voice to my thoughts on being forced to navigate HRT in Japan and forgo (for the time being) other gender-related medical things that i’d hoped to pursue in America. i also talk about possibly moving to Tokyo in a year’s time, having been outted to my dad via Twitter and a new book by Ashley Mardell that i highly recommend. longass video is long, so here are some jump points for those of you only interested in specific things. @00:00 – post-election mental health @03:50 – shattered future; staying in Japan @08:55 – name change, HRT…
Q&A: “…it makes me feel invalid whenever she does that. if you have any advice, i’d appreciate it.”
anonymous said: my friend’s best friend recently came out as trans and my friend only refers to them as their preferred name. there’s nothing wrong with that, except i told the same friend my preferred name a year ago and she rarely uses it, even when it’s just us. we’ve talked about it, but she still continues to use my birth name around me. i’m not really sure what to do, since we’ve already talked about it, but it makes me feel invalid whenever she does that. if you have any advice, i’d appreciate it wow, what an incredibly shitty thing to do. :/ this isn’t actual advice so much as it just being what i personally might do in such a situation, but…. i imagine that i’d handle this in much the same way i would someone who insists on misgendering me. that is, i’d stop responding to the…
Q&A: “I’m thinking about using the meaning of my given name as my name…”
anonymous said: I’m thinking about using the meaning of my given name as my name, but it sounds a little odd. So I was going to remove a letter, but removing a letter made it identical to a name from a culture I don’t belong to. Since it’s a deliberate variation of a word that isn’t culturally specific is it okay? Or should I leave it be an look for something else? Would using the variation as a nickname and the other as the official name be better? I’m not sure and it’s giving me anxiety. no matter who you ask this question to, i feel like the answer that you get is inevitably going to be a subjective one dependent on the personal opinion of the person answering the question because there is no rulebook for names and cultural appropriation. in other words, all i can do is tell…
QAC 47 – Re: “Transitioning” in Japan / Body Mods & Dysphoria || Tea & Word Vomit
Queer As Cat (the channel) is about to turn 3 years old and (miraculously) reached 4k subscribers last week…! and for some reason i feel like taking this channel back to old times where i casually vomit words at you in a single, raw take. to make this word vomit a bit more digestible, here’s the gist of what i talk about with time points. 00:00 – tea tea tea 00:33 – 4k subscribers omg 02:05 – financial stress: why i’ve made some changes to the channel 05:30 – rethinking “transitioning” in Japan 10:51 – body mods & dysphoria: how the two are linked for me 15:35 – tea or coffee: which do you prefer? as always, thank you for watching. 🙂
QAC 45 – Forced Out of the Closet: 2 Years Later | Coming Out Again (Non-Binary Bi / Pan Asexual)
it’s been 2 years since i was forced out of the closet by my mom; it’s been 5 months since my last video about how things are going with my family. this video is long, but it’s also long overdue. the past 5 months have been an emotional roller coaster. from breaking off communication with my mom, to coming out to my sister as bi / panromantic, to being met with further attempts at invalidation, to being “home” for the holidays, to coming out as non-binary to my sister, to FINALLY being referred to by my real name…. 2 years later, things are finally looking up. kind of. only time will tell what 2016 will bring. TRIGGER WARNING for sexual abuse & child abuse with a time jump point in the video itself so you can safely watch and skip the trigger. […] long video is long, but that’s what…
Q&A: “my friends told me she decided that “mom” is gender neutral and shes going to keep calling me that…”
anonymous said: my friend group has always had this thing where they call me “mom”. a while ago I came out as trans to most of them, and one of my friends told me she decided that “mom” is gender neutral and shes going to keep calling me that bc it’s just our thing. but it’s kind of been bothering me lately bc I don’t want that used for me anymore. I feel like if I tell them that, they’ll get annoyed and ignore me and think I’m making a big deal out of it, when it actually kind of makes me dysphoric. my humble opinion is that you should be up front with them. tell them what you’ve told me, that being referred to as “mom” makes you feel dysphoric/that you aren’t comfortable being referred to as that anymore. if they’re really your friends they shouldn’t ignore or belittle your…
cautious optimism: yet another conversation with mom
for those who don’t know, i stopped talking to my mom back in July. the situation with my mom evolved over a long period of time and i’ve talked about it twice on YouTube. [ 1 + 2 ] well, today i want to say extremely tentatively that it seems like some progress has been made in terms of restarting our relationship. i’m trying really, really hard not to be overly optimistic because if i’m wrong and things fall apart again, it will hurt all the more if i let my guard down and allow myself to be happy now. (tl;dr below) in recent weeks prior to today mom has made attempts at contacting me with such conversation starters as “help me understand.”, “what is it you want me to say?” and “i’m taking your sister to the ER so i thought i’d message you (ie: please talk to me).” aside…
QAC 33 – (Not) “Transitioning” As Non-Binary in Japan
apologies for this video being incredibly long– there was lots to address and i still didn’t cover everything! in this video i talk about my current intentions re: social and medical/physical “transitioning”, why i personally don’t care for the term “transition”, why i won’t be doing anything while in Japan, why “transitioning” as a non-binary person is different from “transitioning” as a binary person and lots more. please bear in mind that this really isn’t meant as an educational video, but maybe it’ll be informative nonetheless…? =================== TIME POINT INDEX =================== @00:00 happy holidays! @00:20 why i don’t look forward to 2015 @02:22 why i don’t care for the term “transition” @04:48 TMI & trigger warnings –SOCIAL TRANSITION– @05:20 what is social transition? @06:36 social “transitioning” as non-binary @07:03 name change abroad, name dysphoria @09:01 coming out in Japan @11:13 gender marker change + bathrooms in Japan @12:39 voice training,…
rant: name change + expat pains
the desire to legally change my name to Vesper is steadily growing….. but the more i think about the actual process, the more i curse being an expat. ;( being an expat makes so many things dually difficult.
