six months on testosterone and navigating having a (over)active libido (or “sex drive”) to show for it. as an ace, suddenly having to navigate having a high libido for the first time in my life has been…. interesting, to say the least.
from YouTube: (more than) two months has passed since my last T update and a lot has happened…? increased acne, continued voice dropping; increasing body hair, fat redistribution; adjusting to having a libido, enjoying no longer being anemic; a failed health check, stopping T– wait, what?
a little over three months later, the changes that i’m experiencing on 100mg / 2 weeks of injectible testosterone are seemingly more subtle than they were starting out… or perhaps that’s just me being less hyperaware of every single little thing now compared to in the beginning when every single little thing was Amaze and OMG. there’s only so long a person can maintain such hyperawareness of their own body before the hyperawareness itself becomes exhausting, you know? either way, noticeable changes are still happening and in this episode of The T Files i talk about weight gain, changing personal hygiene, higher body temperature, changes in libido and related Asexy Feels along with The Much TMI, So WTF topic of genitalia shiz. and now, stay tuned for an advertisement from our sponsors– Starbucks! bringing Quality Video Descriptions born out of sleep deprivation, fueled by the remnants of our grande Caramel…
looking back over the past month, it feels like quite a bit has happened: minor voice changes, chest “deflation”, libido reincarnation and the beginnings of facial hair growth?! to name just a few. however, none of those things hold a candle to the unexpected health benefits that i’ve experienced since starting T as someone who is anemic. maybe staying on T long-term wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all…..? cue melodramatic music, but not really.
anonymous said: (part 1/2) Hi, I identify as bi and aro and I’ve been questioning being on the asexual spectrum for a year but I can’t get anywhere. I’ve always noticed I wasn’t attracted to my partners even before I knew asexuality existed but oddly, it didn’t bothered me or made me question things on the moment. However, I can have fantasies about people I know or celebrities but it never becomes reality. When I have sex with my partners, it’s because I have a libido and I feel emotionally good with them. (part 2/2) I can’t relate with most ace stories since I have fantaisies, a libido and sex. But at the same time, I can’t totally relate either with allosexual way of things. And being bi means I exist in that weird paradox where I can’t draw the line between being attracted to all genders or none. I…
anonymous said: Is it possible to become asexual as you get older? Like when I started puberty my hormones were through the roof so I’d masturbate but I don’t think I’ve ever really liked sex? It just doesn’t seem necessary or pleasing to me :s hi, anon. 🙂 a person’s sexuality can certainly change overtime. it’s worth noting, though, that horniness (or lack there of) has more to do with sex drive or libido than it has to do with one’s sexual orientation. anyone of any sexual orientation can have a low libido just as anyone of any sexual orientation can have a high libido, even an asexual person. in other words, your sexuality very well may have changed, but you could also be an asexual who just so happens to have (or have had) a libido and masturbates (or masturbated). even one’s libido can change without one’s sexual orientation…
anonymous said: Hello, Vesper. I was curious about how one goes about figuring out how one is asexual. I know I am gender neutral, or non-binary, but I have been questioning my sexuality. I know I have a high sex drive, but I’m unsure about my sexual attraction. I am sexually attracted to two people that I have know for almost a decade now, but those are the only two I’ve ever had a sexual attraction to. Also I appoligize about going anon, but I dont feel comfortable stating my sex drive under my profile. :o) hi. 🙂 sorry for not responding sooner. you’re probably already aware of this, but figuring out one’s sexuality is an extremely personal process/journey. there is no particulare way that one goes about doing it. that said, i think that the process/journey regarding discovering one’s sexuality is similar in some ways to how one…
anonymous said: So, I have identified as a panromantic asexual for a while now, but I just entered my first romantic relationship and am beginning to question this. We make out sometimes, and I get aroused. How can I tell the difference between libido and sexual attraction? He’s the only one I would want to have sex with, but is this sexual attraction or just loyalty to my partner? hello, anon! sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask! i can’t tell you whether what you’re experiencing is one thing or another. ultimately, only you can decide that. i can say, however, that becoming aroused can and does happen to anyone, regardless of what their sexual orientation is. it’s simply a physiological reaction to stimuli which has no bearing on one’s sexual orientation. also, i personally do not consider arousal to be the same thing as libido/sex…
anonymous said: I’m sorry if this is dumb, but I’ve always been confused about the difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction. To be sexually attracted to someone, do you necessarily have to fantasize about partaking in sexual acts with that person? I’m wondering because I have never been attracted to sex or anything related to sex. I don’t think I’ll ever have sexual fantasies about anyone, and my disinterest in sex has nothing to do with my religious or moral beliefs. Is this normal? anon, i feel like you’re asking the wrong person this question since i’ve never even experienced sexual attraction myself lol….. based on my understanding of sexual attraction, what you’ve described (fantasizing about partaking in sexual acts with someone) may be a part of sexual attraction for some people, yes. however, someone can fantasize about partaking in sexual acts without actually wanting to partake in such…
like “heteronormativity” and “amatornormativity”, can we please make “sexnormativity” a thing? simply put: sexnormativity: the assumption that sexual attraction and/or a desire for sex is a universal trait that everyone shares. the ace community has long since been battling sexnormativity as it plays a large role in a/acephobia. however, aces are not the only ones suffering from sexnormativity. people who are repulsed by and/or adverse to sex people with “low”/”high” libidos teenagers young adults seniors survivors of sexual assault/abuse and so many more literally anyone and probably everyone is affected by sexnormativity to some degree or another at some point in their life because sexnormativity ties into so many things: peer pressure, stereotypes, hypersexualization, desexualization, heteronormativity, amatonormativity, slut-shaming, victim blaming, trauma invalidation, erasure, parental/familial expectations and the list goes on. awareness and discussion of sexnormativity needs to go beyond the confines of the ace community. please let this be a thing that the world is made…
