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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • Q&A

    Q&A: “do they pronouns work like plural or singular?”

    September 3, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi sorry to bother you, english is not my first language and i always get confused, do they pronouns work like plural or singular? I mean talking about a nb person u say “they is very pretty” or “they are very pretty”? not a problem, anon. 🙂 even when ‘they’ is used to talk about a single person, it is still used in almost the exact same way as it would be used to talk about multiple people. in other words, it is grammatically plural. subjective: they are very pretty. objective: i hugged them. possessive determiner: their smile makes me happy. possessive pronoun: the choice is theirs. reflexive: they are proud of themself.* * the only difference is that the reflexive form of plural ‘they’ is ‘themselves’ (eg. ‘they are proud of themselves’). some people use ‘themselves’ even for singular ‘they’ when talking about a single person, but i prefer ‘themself’. hope this helps.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

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    April 5, 2018
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A

    Q&A: “Do you know any non-binary pronouns besides they/them?”

    September 3, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I am pronoun-confused. Do you know any non-binary pronouns besides they/them? there are many, many gender neutral pronouns in the English language besides they / them / their. to throw out a few of them as examples: co / co / cos e(y) / em / eir ne / nem / nir ve / ver / vis xe / xem / xyr ze / hir / hir again, those are just a few. see list of gender neutral pronouns on Wiktionary.org for even more pronouns. there’s also more detailed information about the history and usage of various gender neutral pronouns in English (and other languages) on Nonbinary.org’s wiki. last but not least, there’s also the option of using no pronouns at all, which many people seem to forget is even an option. if knowing how to use certain pronouns is confusing or difficult for you, you may be interested in checking out…

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    Vesper H.

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    June 21, 2014

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    June 23, 2016

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    August 4, 2017
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I wanted to ask if there were any gender neutral ways to imply that someone is your child that isn’t the word “child”…”

    August 24, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi Vesper! First off i’d like to say that you’re amazing and very inspirational to me :). I wanted to ask if there were any gender neutral ways to imply that someone is your child that isn’t the word “child”. As an adult that prefers neutral pronouns, I don’t find it fitting for my parents to refer to me as a child. How would you prefer your parents to refer to you in that circumstance? hello, anon. thank you for the kind words. 🙂 personally, even though i’m an adult, i don’t particularly mind being referred to as “child” so long as it’s within the context of a relationship between a parent and their offspring. unlike “kid” which would really rub me the wrong way regardless of who’s using it in what context, “child” when used by my parents in reference to me feels more about me being their offspring then…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A not Q&A: “All the pronouns in Italian are female and masculine, “it” in Italian doesn’t exist…”

    August 4, 2016 / No Comments

    johncatwatson said: I have the same problem of the last ask. All the pronouns in Italian are female and masculine, “it” in Italian doesn’t exist. The only alternative I have is say words at masculine way. (re: this post) indeed, Italian does share linguistic problems with French when it comes to gender, although (as you’ve pointed out) unlike French, Italian doesn’t even have a commonly used pronoun for “it”, among other differences. i can only imagine how frustrating that must be. :/ i’m embarrassed to say that i studied Italian for two years in college but know / remember even less of it now than i do French…! nevertheless, i used what i remember to go digging and see what i could find about non-binary anything in Italian and was really disappointed. i don’t know if it’s just my poor language skills, but what i was able to find about non-binary people…

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    Vesper H.

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    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I really have a problem when I want to speak about neutral people in French.”

    August 3, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi. I really have a problem when I want to speak about neutral people in French. For the pronouns, there’s only a translation for ‘it’ or ‘that’ and that sounds weird. ‘They’ can only be masculine or feminine. A woman and a man, it becomes masculine. Misogynistic. The same for words and adjectives. You can only be a masculine or a feminine trans. You can’t be happy, you’re a happy girl or a happy boy. Articles, pronouns & adjectives are not neutral. So how can I speak about you for example? yeah… as a native English speaker who speaks only a smidgen of (vraiment un petit brin de) French, i can only imagine how much of a pain in the ass it must be to speak in a gender neutral way about someone… and as you’ve pointed out, there’s also a lot of patriarchy and misogyny build into…

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    Vesper H.

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    …annnd that’s a wrap!

    May 7, 2017

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    February 21, 2015

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    January 4, 2020
  • [A]sexuality,  Japan[ese],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I have a question regarding the Japanese use of the terms asexual and nonsexual…”

    July 27, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous post: I have a question regarding the Japanese use of the terms asexual and nonsexual. Is asexual generally used by all aces on the aromantic spectrum or do arospec aces who sometimes feel romantic attraction (such as grey aromantics) typically prefer to use nonsexual? I’d like to get more involved with the ace community when I (hopefully) move to Japan, but I feel like the Japanese terminology doesn’t even let me describe myself… (re: this post) bearing in mind that everything i’m about to say is based entirely on my own limited experience and observation… i can count the number of times i’ve met or heard of a Japanese person actively identifying in some way as gray or demi on one hand. generally speaking, awareness of nuanced ace & aro spectrum identities / orientations is hardly a thing among Japanese aces. the only time i hear any explicit mention of…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    comments on my “QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like” video.

    November 26, 2015

    …one of many examples of why navigating セクマイ / LGBTQIA spaces in Japan can be painful at times.

    October 7, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “how long have you been studying esperanto?”

    July 13, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: hello Vesper! how long have you been studying esperanto? and would you consider yourself fluent/conversational? I know it’s known as a “simple language” but I’m still unsure as to whether or not it’s worth learning actively since it’s not a common language in real life compared to other languages. do you speak it often? sorry if these are too many questions. sal. 🙂 not too many questions at all. i started learning Esperanto in 2003 and would say that i’m pretty conversational / fluent in it. that said, i go in and out of actively using it and when i’m not actively using it, i get rusty and have to brush up on it to get back to where i used to be, just like with any other language. Esperanto’s reputation of being an easy enough language to learn in 6 months is true, but it can take longer…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I’m thinking about using the meaning of my given name as my name…”

    July 13, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I’m thinking about using the meaning of my given name as my name, but it sounds a little odd. So I was going to remove a letter, but removing a letter made it identical to a name from a culture I don’t belong to. Since it’s a deliberate variation of a word that isn’t culturally specific is it okay? Or should I leave it be an look for something else? Would using the variation as a nickname and the other as the official name be better? I’m not sure and it’s giving me anxiety. no matter who you ask this question to, i feel like the answer that you get is inevitably going to be a subjective one dependent on the personal opinion of the person answering the question because there is no rulebook for names and cultural appropriation. in other words, all i can do is tell…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “i’m a non-binary person and sometimes i feel weird calling myself bi/pan?”

    July 3, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: so, i’m a non-binary (more specifically trans-masculine) person and sometimes i feel weird calling myself bi/pan? like, i have a hard time figuring out what to call my sexuality, since i feel that many of the labels for sexuality aren’t really designed with nb people in mind. i just… don’t know if you’ve ever had similar feelings? oh definitely, i have felt that way before. in fact, i was at a non-binary meeting yesterday and this was a subject that came up. some people took no issue with bi, while others did. there was talk of how pan was coined in response to (the assumption of) bi being binarist and erasing or exclusionary of non-binary people and how people felt about that. some felt it was a good thing that pan was coined, others had no opinion as they don’t identify as either and were sorely missing the…

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like

    April 27, 2015

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    July 23, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Japan[ese],  Queer[ness]

    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2016 musings

    May 15, 2016 / No Comments

    a long and rather pointless post in which i write out some of my thoughts and experiences along with photos from last weekend’s Pride in Tokyo. this post is photo heavy. for more photos from TRP, see these posts: ☆ ace & nonbinary photos ☆ general photos warning: slurs, scantly clad men and mention of genitalia. this year i went to TRP on both Saturday and Sunday for the first time. while i’m glad i did, i’m really kicking myself in regards to how i did it. i ended up being ridiculously exhausted both days before i’d even boarded the train to Tokyo all because i called myself saving money by not booking myself and Yuki (my hedgehog) into a hotel so that i could spend the night in Tokyo. the result was 5 hrs/day of riding trains two days in a row. i’m still not recovered and this entire post is…

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    Vesper H.

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    May 29, 2013

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    April 26, 2015
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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