genderqueer Archives | Page 2 of 7 | Queer As Cat

Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “…does anyone ever talk about how jobs can limit one’s choices for gender presentation?”

February 21, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: Concerning being either GNC or nonbinary, does anyone ever talk about how jobs can limit one’s choices for gender presentation? I’m in hard science, which tends to have much stricter standards of “professional presentation” (and thus gender-performance), than the humanities. I couldn’t get away with half of the presentation stuff that people on Tumblr endlessly espouse if I want to actually get a job in my chosen field, which is then used as proof that I’m a faker and trend-follower. unfortunately i don’t have any links on hand to offer you, but i have seen many people both online and offline talk about the limitations (or even complete inability) that they face regarding being able to present themselves in a way that reflects their gender (or lack thereof)– both in regards to on the job and as a student because of standards re: “professionalism”. especially here in Japan…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 34 – Distancing Yourself From Family
February 16, 2015

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QAC 48 – Non-Binary Gender Norms & (A)sexuality: Yeah, No.
March 27, 2016
[Random] Thoughts, Gender[queer], Queer[ness]

word vomit: escaping womanhood

February 10, 2017 / No Comments

time to word vomit a continuous stream of thoughts that have been going around in my head for a while now. will probably run with this more later. cw: slurs the binarist society(/ies) we live in fucks over everyone– be they trans or not– with its enforcement of binary gender roles, among other things. sometimes i’ll come across an article, blog post, whatever talking about this. to a point. sometimes it will be pointed out that how and to what extent society polices and enforces gender roles differs based on the assumed gender at birth of the person in question, among other things. that in American society, for example, people deemed to be females at birth are afforded a certain amount of leeway that people who are deemed to be male at birth are not.

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Vesper H.

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January 30, 2020

insert self-indulgence here.
August 16, 2017

“maverique” v2.0
June 15, 2014
Q&A

Q&A: “To me I’m just a person. Is that what [maverique] is like?”

January 16, 2017 / No Comments

curvycutieteenybopper said: I just found your gender identity and I think it fits me? I’m not a boy or girl. There’s something but it’s not based off of boy or girl. To me I’m just a person. Is that what it’s like? How does it differ from non binary as an identity? Thank you normally i’d respond to this with some long-winded blabbering, but i just wrote another long-winded blabber of a post and am out of wind now, so… forgive me for keeping this (relatively) brief. i think that you’ll find that many people, regardless of their gender, view themselves as “just a person” or “just themself”, so i personally don’t consider that to be something specific to maveriques. not everyone feels like their gender defines them in a way that stops them from being “just” themself, a person, and simultaneously a man, woman, agender person etc at the same time……

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016

“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018
Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “I was wondering when/how did you figure out you weren’t a woman?”

January 5, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: HI! I like your blog. I’m pretty new around here though. Still trying to understand gender stuff. I was wondering when/how did you figure out you weren’t a woman? hi, anon, and thanks. 🙂 i’m not sure that my own personal experience will be of any help to you, but… the short answer: i never felt like i was a girl / woman to begin with, but at the same time i knew that i wasn’t a boy / man. i defaulted to society’s gender assignment because of not knowing that i could do or be anything else. i told myself, “well, i’m not a boy / man, so i guess that makes me the tomboy that people say i am.” however, the second i became aware of the fact that a person could be neither a boy / man nor a girl / woman, that being genderqueer (at the…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 08 – Non-Binary Social Dysphoria (Body, Hair, etc)
June 14, 2013

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December 30, 2016

QAC 49 – Singular ‘They’ | Gender Neutral Pronouns | This Has Been A PSA
April 24, 2016
Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “i’m trans and there are a lot of times when i feel hopeless…”

November 14, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: this sounds dumb but i really wonder about – i’m trans and there are a lot of times when i feel hopeless, like i will never be totally validated and accepted like cis people are even if i completely transition (sometimes i even wish i was cis so i wouldn’t have to deal with the things i feel). occasionally i wonder if maybe i really am faking it even though it’s been a couple years since i realized that being trans felt right. am i the only one who has these thoughts? am i faking it? i can tell you with 100% certainty that you’re not the only one who has such thoughts and who feels this way at times, anon. it’s not at all uncommon to feel hopeless sometimes; to wish that you were like those around you who do not have to deal with the things…

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Vesper H.

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November 7, 2015

QAC 15 – Conformity: Being Genderqueer Abroad
August 29, 2013

QAC 67 – 2 Months on HRT || Testosterone | Anemia | Non-Binary || The T Files #006
March 19, 2018
When The World Doesn’t Know You Exist: Coming Out As Non-Binary

Gender[queer], Queer[ness]

Huffpost: “When The World Doesn’t Know You Exist: Coming Out As Non-Binary”

October 30, 2016 / No Comments

Life would be easier if it came with a guidebook. If it did, maybe it wouldn’t have taken me 27 years to realise that I didn’t actually have to subscribe to society’s assertion that everyone is either male or female. At the very least, ripping the book to shreds in a fit of rage would have made for great stress relief. Then again, had there been such a book I probably wouldn’t have grown up to be the person that I am today and I wouldn’t change that for the world. Hello, my name’s Vesper. I’m a 31 year old non-binary person who’s here today to tell you that gender is a much more beautifully complex thing than society would have you believe. That some people, such as myself, are neither male nor female but a different gender(s) entirely […] the blog post that i wrote for Ditch The Label…

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Vesper H.

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Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2016 musings
May 15, 2016

QAC 48 – Non-Binary Gender Norms & (A)sexuality: Yeah, No.
March 27, 2016

Ash Hardell’s “The ABC’s of LGBT+” in Japanese!
November 25, 2017
"Gender is a Much More Beautifully Complex Thing Than Society Would Have You Believe"- Ditch the Label

Gender[queer], Queer[ness]

“Gender is a Much More Beautifully Complex Thing Than Society Would Have You Believe”- Ditch the Label

October 18, 2016 / No Comments

Life would be easier if it came with a guidebook. If it did, maybe it wouldn’t have taken me 27 years to realize that I didn’t actually have to subscribe to society’s assertion that everyone is either male or female. At the very least, ripping the book to shreds in a fit of rage would have made for great stress relief. Then again, had there been such a book I probably wouldn’t have grown up to be the person that I am today and I wouldn’t change that for the world. Hello, my name’s Vesper. I’m a 31 year old non-binary person who’s here today to tell you that gender is a much more beautifully complex thing than society would have you believe. That some people, such as myself, are neither male nor female but a different gender(s) entirely. […] when @ditchthelabel, an international anti-bullying charity, approached me about writing…

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Vesper H.

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[A]sexuality, Gender[queer], Japan[ese], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Re: Re: “Why do you think some nb genders are becoming more well known than other nb genders?”

September 14, 2016 / No Comments

nextstepcake: queerascat: nextstepcake: queerascat: anonymous said: Hey Vesper! I have a question. I’ve noticed that within the nonbinary and larger trans and queer and so forth communities, some nonbinary genders seem to get more recognition than others. Some- especially maverique as I’ve noticed- are hardly known of by many other nonbinary and/or trans people, while others such are gaining recognition in trans, nb, and other circles much more quickly in comparison. Why do you think some nb genders are becoming more well known than other nb genders? hi anon, this is a really tough question. not just because of how subjective it is (i mean, what even counts as ‘recognition’, let alone what counts as ‘more’ or ‘more quickly’), but also because there are an infinite number of factors involved in why any non-binary gender gets any amount of recognition at all. imho, some non-binary genders are more commonly recognized…

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Vesper H.

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May 22, 2017

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April 26, 2015

QAC 28 – On “Blackness”, Queer Identity & Intersectionality (a rant)
July 14, 2014
Gender[queer], Q&A

Q&A not Q&A: “I’m a female androgyne & clothes are a problem for me.”

September 6, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi. I really like your style. I’m a female androgyne & clothes are a problem for me. I’m skinny & short & I like men’s clothes but they don’t fit me because they are all too big for me. So I hate how I look like. I see pictures on the internet with beautiful women wearing great men’s clothes, they are divine but where I live there’s not a single shop for genderqueer. When I’m trying to tell this to someone, girls are telling me that with my body I can wear what I want. Yes… in a shop for women thanks, anon. 🙂 i totally share your frustration when it comes to shopping for clothes…. i, too, prefer clothes that tend to be in “men’s” sections. i’m also (very) short and have more curves than i care to admit… that, combined with how selective and uncompromising i…

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Vesper H.

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#YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube
December 15, 2019

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March 20, 2017

“…what it means to become America’s boogieman”
July 12, 2017
Gender[queer], Queer[ness]

let’s talk: the trans/cis binary

August 19, 2016 / 1 Comment

note: this post is also a YouTube video, which was made in response to commentary made on another video about identifying as non-binary but not trans. you may want to watch the latter video before reading this. let’s talk about gender. let’s talk how you may or may not be aware of the false binary or dichotomy of male / female gender and how it erases non-binary people. then, let’s talk about how that isn’t the only binary that exists involving gender and identity. let’s talk about how even if a non-binary person manages to navigate the male / female gender binary within society and exist openly as a non-binary person, they’re then faced with yet another binary, another dichotomy from within the very communities that they should at least be able to feel safer in. let’s talk about how within the LGBTQIA there is / are: questionnaires, registration forms,…

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Vesper H.

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September 8, 2019

QAC 52 – Non-Binary vs Trans Identity | “Transitioning” | #NonBinaryYT
August 16, 2016

QAC 70 – 5 Months On T: Stopping HRT? | Voice Change | Non-Binary || The T Files #008
June 26, 2018