gender Archives | Page 2 of 12 | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Gender[queer], Queer[ness], YouTube[r]

QAC 72 – Outted To Religious Mom: 4 Years Later | HRT | Non-Binary Relationship || #ItGetsBetter?

September 18, 2018 / No Comments

in 2014, YouTube outted me to my mom and she’s struggled to understand, let alone accept my sexuality and gender ever since. four years later, things are still touch-and-go when mom finds out that i’m on testosterone and in what she perceives to be a “lesbian relationship”… does her head implode yet again? #ItGetsBetter, they said. well, at this point i have zero fucks to give either way, buuttt i made this #LifeUpdate / #StoryTime video for you anyway. consider this me being ‘officially’ back from being MIA / AFK, i suppose.

continue reading

Vesper H.

You May Also Like

QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like
April 27, 2015

QAC 75 – Questioning In Silence?: Identity | Self-Discovery | Stigma || Random Thoughts
February 27, 2019

“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018
[A]sexuality, [Random] Thoughts, Gender[queer], Queer[ness], YouTube[r]

humbled

July 31, 2018 / No Comments

it’s always humbling (for me) to be told by someone that something i made / did / said matters to them, but for whatever reason it feels especially… significant? when i’m told it out of the blue offline. i mean, the last thing i expected to happen going into work today was for a coworker, who happened to be in town for an in-house training event, to approach me about having seen me in a BuzzFeed video about asexuality…

continue reading

Vesper H.

You May Also Like

#TRP2017
May 11, 2017

Burnt Out & Neurotic: The Toll of Blogging While Ace and Mentally Ill
December 26, 2018

*scribble scribble*
September 15, 2016
Black[ness], Japan[ese], Queer[ness]

it began with locs…

February 25, 2018 / No Comments

cw: rape apologism …so i just had lunch with someone who is essentially a random woman who chased me down at a train station last week because she admired my locs and wanted me to start locs for her. had this woman not been a black woman, had she not been an older black woman, had she not been literally beaming from ear to ear just looking at my locs, so earnest about wanting to start locs herself and having nowhere to turn– had it not been for all those things AND had we not been in Japan, i wouldn’t have given this lady the time of day. especially since she made me miss my train. but she was and we are and so there i was, meeting this over zealous woman at a cafe for lunch because #AfroHairSolidarityInAsia✊? if only the conversation had steered clear of politics, things would have been fine. i…

continue reading

Vesper H.

You May Also Like

Black Mirror: “San Junipero”
July 6, 2017

the ‘Sin City’ asexual
January 10, 2019

thank you
November 28, 2017
[Random] Thoughts, Black[ness], Gender[queer], Queer[ness]

whiteness as default

December 10, 2017 / No Comments

as usual, i find myself turning to YouTube as a resource for information only to be reminded that…. YouTube is So Damn White. most things non-binary and / or trans are So Damn White. a search for “non-binary” and “testosterone” turns up almost nothing but skinny, short haired, white, non-binary people, none of whom i can really see myself in. which is nothing new. that’s part of the reason i’m on YouTube in the first place. beyond that, a bigger problem that i find myself faced with is that the very image / concept of “androgyny” or stereotypical “non-binary appearance” is inherently linked to whiteness. i want people to pause before they misgender me (seeing as how they will inevitably misgender me regardless) and the best way to bring about that is, presumably, androgynous appearance. however, androgyny feels unobtainable to me as a black person, because no matter what i…

continue reading

Vesper H.

You May Also Like

QAC 24.5 Life Update: Tokyo / Asexual Pride + Outted Again + More
June 3, 2014

QAC 45 – Forced Out of the Closet: 2 Years Later | Coming Out Again (Non-Binary Bi / Pan Asexual)
January 26, 2016

allo by default: hypocrisy in “aspec” spaces
February 25, 2017
[Random] Thoughts, Black[ness], Gender[queer], Mental [Un]health, Queer[ness]

gender feels; racial trauma.

December 6, 2017 / No Comments

as usual, i find myself turning to YouTube as a resource for information only to be reminded that…. YouTube is So Damn White. most things non-binary and / or trans are So Damn White. a search for “non-binary” and “testosterone” turns up almost nothing but skinny, short haired, white, non-binary people, none of whom i can really see myself in. which is nothing new. that’s part of the reason i’m on YouTube in the first place.

continue reading

Vesper H.

You May Also Like

custom t-shirt wooo
March 31, 2015

insert self-indulgence here.
August 16, 2017

Re: Yuri!!! On Ice & that annoying thing that anime & fandom does
December 14, 2016
Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “I stumbled across the term Maverique a few days ago…”

October 15, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: I stumbled across the term Maverique a few days ago. Before I went w/ the gender I was assigned at birth (cuz ¯_(ツ)_/¯), but the definition just “clicked”. After reading more about it I’m not sure if I can ID that way tho, cuz while I don’t feel genderless, or like a man/woman, I do feel kinda “feminine”, but it’s not like “”””feminine””””, you know? It’s really “me”/innate & unrelated to things outside myself, but feminine as a word still fits, just the concept of feminine is my own. Thoughts? sorry for the slow reply, anon. i’m sorry that my definition of maverique being what it is has caused you to question whether you can identify as maverique or not. my personal stance is that if you feel like ‘maverique’ describes you then it does, even if ‘feminine’ also happens to describe you as well. i’m the last person to…

continue reading

Vesper H.

You May Also Like

more Sailor Moon Crystal fanpersoning #SCREAMING
May 17, 2016

“You are freaking perfect how you are.”
June 19, 2018

tfw TERFs.
March 1, 2017
Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “I had someone who was a POC tell me [maverique] was appropriative of POC cultures…”

September 1, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: This is probably a complex issue, so apologies in advance if I have to send multiple asks, but I’m white l, and recently I have been identifying as Maverique, it is the best way I’ve found to describe my gender and it sits very well for me, but I had someone who was a POC tell me it was appropriative of POC cultures and was basically just ‘white people taking it and making it okay to id as a third gender’ and, while I disagreed with them and it was very upsetting, (pt 1) I know it is not my place to argue with them over what is and isn’t cultural appropriation. I’m not really sure what to do, because they told me it would be racist of me to continue id’ing as maverique and that I should use neutrois or something similar instead, but neutral terms aren’t…

continue reading

Vesper H.

You May Also Like

QAC 29 – (Not) Coping + 3 More Years in Japan
August 24, 2014

QAC 71 – Testosterone, Libido & Asexuality: Has HRT Changed My Sexuality? || The T Files #009
July 9, 2018

QAC 10 – Gender Dysphoria & Body Mods
July 6, 2013
Gender[queer], Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “how would a person go about separating gender identity and presentation?”

August 31, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: hey there! i just came across this blog, so im unsure where to look or search. how would a person go about separating gender identity and presentation? i personally when i first learned about feminism, i immediately understood no actions, feelings, way of dressing/presenting signified anything about gender. though it’s maybe left me a bit lost now (currently i recently started using the label neutrois lesbian, and only feeling “feminine” or “womanness” when i thought of my attraction to women)? hi anon, i feel like it’s worth pointing out that not everyone does view their gender as being separate or independent of how they present or express themself. and that’s okay. some people do feel like how they present / express themself is reflective of their gender or vice versa. there is a push now to draw a clear line between these two things, but not everyone feels…

continue reading

Vesper H.

You May Also Like

humbled
July 31, 2018

QAC 13 – Staying In The Closet
August 11, 2013

QAC 65 – 1 Month on Low Dose HRT | Non-Binary | Mental Health || The T Files #005
February 12, 2018
Feedback, Gender[queer], Queer[ness]

Feedback: “anon who asked abt alternatives to neutrois – your answer was helpful!”

August 24, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: anon who asked abt alternatives to neutrois – your answer was helpful! i haven’t seen much discussion abt neutrois as a term, so it’s good to know i’m at least not the only person who feels this way. ( re: this post ) thanks for coming back and responding. 🙂 indeed, despite the lack of talk about neutrois these days, you’re most definitely not alone. i’m sorry that months later, i still don’t have an alternative to neutrois to suggest to you, though… as i mentioned in a recent ask, i feel like even though there are people who do use ‘agender’ to mean ‘a complete lack of gender’ (ie. genderlessness), at the same time there are a lot of people who use ‘agender’ to mean something else, including ‘gender neutral’ (ie. not genderless, but rather a gender that is itself neutral). this may be nothing more than a faulty…

continue reading

Vesper H.

You May Also Like

Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
Gender[queer], Mental [Un]health, Queer[ness], YouTube[r]

QAC 58 – Escaping Womanhood || Non-Binary | AFAB | Internalized Misogyny

August 16, 2017 / No Comments

as a non-binary person who was deemed to be female at birth, i have struggled all my life with what others consider to be my “womanhood”. when women have fought so hard to progress gender equality to where it is today, asserting that there is no wrong way to be a woman because women can do and be anything– juxtaposed against the continual struggle of trans women and some non-binary people just to have their womanhood recognized and respected– it is incredibly hard not to see my own rejection of womanhood as anything other than internalized misogyny. it certainly doesn’t help that society in general, but women especially, are often more than happy to write off my gender as being nothing more than internalized misogyny. i mean, given how awesome women are but how misogynistic society is, obviously any disconnect i feel with womanhood must be a result of internalized…

continue reading

Vesper H.

You May Also Like

QAC 37 – Forced Out of the Closet: 1.5 Years Later (Non-Binary Asexual)
June 16, 2015

National Geographic: “Gender Revolution” (Japanese Edition)
January 11, 2017

QAC 72 – Outted To Religious Mom: 4 Years Later | HRT | Non-Binary Relationship || #ItGetsBetter?
September 18, 2018