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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I’m about a 2 on the Kinsey scale. Am I bi?”

    September 24, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi, so I’m about a 2 on the Kinsey scale. Am I bi? Do I still have the right to call myself bi? I don’t know I feel like I’m not bi enough there is no such thing as being “not bi enough”. the only thing that determines your identity is how you yourself identify. this is but one of the many reasons why i despise the Kinsey Scale, actually. it implies that there is some kind of sliding scale of “straightness”, “gayness” or “biness”, which is utter bullshit. no one need fulfill some arbitrary minimal requirement of “biness” or order to identity as bi. nor does anyone need to have some arbitrary minimal amount of experience with more than one gender in order to identify as bi. no one need prove nor justify their bi identity to anyone. that includes struggling to justify it to yourself, imho. if you feel like…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

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    April 5, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  Black[ness],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 39 – Biromantic + Panromantic Pride! | Being Both Bi & Pan

    September 23, 2015 / No Comments

    happy Bi Visibility Day and Bi Awareness Week! 🙂 in this video i talk about what being biromantic and panromantic means to me, common questions i get about being bi and pan and why i identify as both rather than one or the other. i also talk about my journey to realizing my romantic orientation and how being black and being asexual played a part in that journey. ========= TIME POINTS ========= @00:00 – happy Bi Awareness Week & Bi Visibility Day! @00:39 – what is “biromantic” & “panromantic”? @01:20 – what being biro and panro means to me. @01:30 – FAQ: “but bi means two!!!“ @02:53 – FAQ: “but then how is bi different from pan???” @04:09 – FAQ: “but why do you identify as both bi & pan???“ @09:07 – coming out to myself at 27: race played a part in it. @10:56 – coming out to myself…

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 35 – Body Image: An Intersection of Black, Non-binary & Asexual Identity

    March 16, 2015

    QAC 18 – Queer: More Than Sexuality & Gender Identity?

    October 12, 2013

    QAC 51 – #ProudToBe Black Non-Binary Bi Pan AND Asexual

    June 22, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I like most genders but not male so am I poly?”

    September 19, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I like most genders but not male so am I poly? I always said I am biromantic and like most genders but not male, however am I actually polyromantic, not biromantic?   first of all i’d like to throw out my personal definition of these two identities/orientations so that we’re on the same page. biromantic: romantic attraction to two or more genders. polyromantic: romantic attraction to multiple genders. given the definitions above, biromantic and polyromantic are not mutually exclusive. there is overlap between the two definitions; “two or more” is analogous with “multiple”, the main difference is semantic. having said that, that isn’t to say that biromantic is analogous with polyromantic. both orientations are also identities. identities which are tied to their own respective histories, communities, etc, which are often tied to that of the bisexual and polysexual communities at large. the point i’m trying to make is…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “People know me as “straight” but I am afraid to come out as bisexual when I really haven’t had any experience with girls.”

    September 10, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Ever since elementary school I have looked at girls the same way I look at guys, but when I was younger I never thought anything of it. In 6th grade my first kiss was a girl, just a quick peck; since then I’ve only been with guys. I’m currently in a serious relationship with a guy, but lately I have been putting a lot of thought into my sexuality. People know me as “straight” but I am afraid to come out as bisexual when I really haven’t had any experience with girls.   hello, anon! my apologies for taking so long to respond to your ask. ;( being in a relationship definitely makes coming out more challenging. on top of that, coming out as bi presents even more unique challenges. for one thing, people are likely to try and question or invalidate your sexuality because of your ‘lack of…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Is it possible to be Heteroromantic, bisexual and asexual all at the same time?”

    August 10, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Is it possible to be Heteroromantic, bisexual and asexual all at the same time?   it is entirely possible to be heteroromantic and __sexual at the same time. i am confused, though. what do you mean by bisexual and asexual? do you fluctuate between the two? or perhaps you experience sexual attraction towards some genders but then experience none towards other(s)? if it’s the latter, i’d personally (and this is just what i’d personally do, i am not telling you to do this) probably identify as heteroromantic bisexual rather than heteroromantic bisexual asexual. being bisexual does not mean that you experience sexual attraction indiscriminately. it’s common for there to be gender(s) that one isn’t sexually attracted to, so i wouldn’t feel a need to identify as asexual on top of bisexual. also, being asexual means that one doesn’t experience sexual attraction regardless of gender, which contradicts being bisexual.…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “What is the best way to help myself figure out [whether I’m bi or pan]?”

    June 7, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: So I can’t tell if I am closer to pan or bi because I live in an area where most people are male or female. What is the best way to help myself figure that out?   listen to your heart and go with whichever word you feel describes you. you don’t have to have experience with a person of every gender to identify as one or the other. just go with what feels right based on how you feel now and in the future, if it turns out that another word describes you better, than you can switch to using that word if you so choose. just checking, but do you know that both may describe you? because there is overlap between the two. [+bonus reading]

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    Vesper H.

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    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I’ve always had a fascination for both sexes and just came to terms about dating a transgender… I’m thinking that I’m pansexual?”

    April 1, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I’ve been conflicted about my sexuality (again) lately. It started a couple weeks ago when I was talking to a friend and she made a comment about something I said. Normally I would’ve brushed it off (because people’ve always thought I was gay), but I guess it was good timing? I’ve always had a fascination for both sexes, and I just came to terms about dating a transgender, and now I’m thinking that I’m pansexual? I’ve been trying to stay away from dating women (I’m female) because of my parents. I’m a 17 year old female, don’t know if I added that The anon talking about the pansexuality dilemma I’ve also never dated anyone before (no one’s legitimately asked me out before). I’m so sorry for spamming you I’ll stop now- have a nice day (Anon from the age and pansexuality thing) hello anon, before i delve into…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 04 – Why I Identify as Panromantic & Biromantic

    May 24, 2013 / No Comments

    in this terribly long video, i blurb on and on about how i came to identify as a panromantic AND biromantic asexual. that’s right, i said pan and bi. many people quote bisexuality as meaning “attraction to males and females,” but that’s just binarist and ignorant, imho. there are bisexual who do define their own attraction as such, but regarding bisexuality and biromanticism in general, there is absolutely nothing that suggests the existence of only two genders or that “bi” is at all limited to attraction only towards males and females. example definitions of bi that many people fail to consider: – attraction to the SAME and to OTHER genderS than oneself. – attraction to AGENDER and to FEMALES. – attraction to GENDERQUEER and to GENDERFLUID. – attraction to MALES and to NEUTROIS. – etc etc bisexuals and biromantics are the ones who get to define their respective orientations, not…

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like

    April 27, 2015

    Antiblackness and Binarism: Grindr in Japan

    January 6, 2018

    QAC 37 – Forced Out of the Closet: 1.5 Years Later (Non-Binary Asexual)

    June 16, 2015
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    my collection…

    March 7, 2013 / No Comments

    …of pride bracelets. 🙂 neither one on its own accurately describes me, so i wear them all. btw, all of them were made by the talented Shauna Taylor of Dancing Leaf Studios. 🙂

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    Vesper H.

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    Studio Ghibli’s 『思い出のマーニー』 // “When Marnie Was There”

    August 11, 2014

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    October 16, 2016

    QAC 02 – The Road to Asexuality

    May 17, 2013
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Art[sy Fartsy]

    “i am bisexual”

    February 2, 2013 / No Comments

    05/23/2018 edit: *scratches head* @2013 Vesper

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    insert self-indulgence here.

    August 16, 2017

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    June 10, 2017

    gossip 〜 the first gay culture cafe in Tokyo

    August 24, 2016
123

VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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