asexual Archives | Page 10 of 15 | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, [Random] Thoughts, Gender[queer], Queer[ness]

non-binary gender norms & (a)sexuality: yeah, no.

March 28, 2016 / No Comments

the following post was originally a vlog that was submitted for the March 2016 Carnival of Aces based on the theme “Gender Norms and Asexuality.” check out The Asexual Agenda’s Carnival of Aces Masterpost for more information. a lot of people feel like there is a connection between one’s gender and sexuality, be it in the form of gender roles, “gender presentation”, sexual attraction (or lack thereof) et cetera ad infinitum. having said that, i’m not going to lie… i really don’t get it.

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I’m in America, I don’t see any connection between my gender/sexuality. However, when I studied abroad in Italy, I felt like gender norms…”

March 28, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I just watched your new video on being non-binary and ace. When I’m in America, I don’t see any connection between my gender/sexuality. However, when I studied abroad in Italy, I felt like gender norms there were more strong and rigid. I identify as mostly a girl but in Italy there is so much open hypersexualization of black women. I wanted to be completely invisible,masculine, and felt way more asexual and dysphoric than in America. Do you experience these changes in intensity when you travel? oh my god yes. a million times yes. gender norms, like social norms in general, are very much tied to culture, which means that they differ from culture to culture. on top of that, when you’re immersed in a culture that’s different from your own, the differences can exacerbate how one feels about the norms of the culture you’re immersed in… while…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Is it possible to become asexual as you get older?”

March 28, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Is it possible to become asexual as you get older? Like when I started puberty my hormones were through the roof so I’d masturbate but I don’t think I’ve ever really liked sex? It just doesn’t seem necessary or pleasing to me :s hi, anon. 🙂 a person’s sexuality can certainly change overtime. it’s worth noting, though, that horniness (or lack there of) has more to do with sex drive or libido than it has to do with one’s sexual orientation. anyone of any sexual orientation can have a low libido just as anyone of any sexual orientation can have a high libido, even an asexual person. in other words, your sexuality very well may have changed, but you could also be an asexual who just so happens to have (or have had) a libido and masturbates (or masturbated). even one’s libido can change without one’s sexual orientation…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 48 – Non-Binary Gender Norms & (A)sexuality: Yeah, No.

March 27, 2016 / 1 Comment

for many the intersection of gender identity, gender norms and sexuality is complicated, to say the least. so what happens when the world doesn’t even know that your gender identity exists? when there are literally few, if any, gender norm associated with your gender? when your sexuality itself is as invisible as your gender identity and non-existent gender norms? welcome to Vesperland, where even the most complicated of things somehow manages to become even more complicated. this video is a submission for the March 2016 Carnival of Aces based on the theme “Gender Norms and Asexuality.” to find out more, check out The Asexual Agenda’s Carnival of Aces Masterpost. …has anyone ever submitted a video for the Carnival of Aces? hmm… this video will be accompanied by a text version that i’ll post tomorrow, but please don’t let that stop you from watching the video. i’ll add captions to the…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “I’m 13 and I’m pretty sure I’m ace and I want to come out to someone as ace but…”

March 27, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I’m 13 and I’m pretty sure I’m ace and I want to come out to someone as ace but she’s ace and in afraid she will think I’m just doing this to “be like” her. I’m really not this is how I feel and this is who I am. hi, anon. 🙂 hopefully your friend will be supportive. i mean, you coming out to her as ace is cause to be happy! happy for you, for having discovered something so awesome about yourself, and happy for her, for having a friend who’s also ace! that said, if your friend does accuse you of wanting to be like her, it may be worth pointing out that being ace isn’t any more of a choice for you than it is her. if by chance her being ace somehow helped you to discover that you’re ace too, you could perhaps mention…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “They don’t face opression at all is what I believe.”

March 23, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: They don’t face opression at all is what I believe. I don’t think it’s about ((enough)) I think it’s about being opressed at all and they aren’t. They face a stigma and I’ll call that shit out when I see it but, I don’t think it’s opression at all? Idk just my opinion. i understand that that’s your opinion, but i’m not sure what you want me to say? like i’ve said before, imho whether heteroromantic aces face oppression or not is beside the point. my stance on whether they have the right to identify as a part of the LGBTQIA+ community remains a firm “yes” because like i said, oppression isn’t the determining factor for me. if you’re looking for me to take a stance on whether heteroromantic aces face oppression at all or whether what they face is stigma, i’m afraid i’m not going to give you…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “I think opression is a determining factors for the LGBT+ community…”

March 22, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I think opression is a determining factors for the LGBT+ community, isnt the opression we shared what ended up bringing us together (re: this post) …this response started out short, but then it turned into me venting. sorry, anon. sure, for some it is a major– possibly even a determining– factor of their personal identity as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community. but like i said, imho, it isn’t the determining factor. even if one person does feel like it is the determining factor of their personal identity, it is a mistake to then assume that that holds true for everyone. not everyone’s identity is determined in part or entirely by their oppression. on top of that, oppression isn’t even something one can measure to determine whether someone is “oppressed enough” to have the right to identify as a part of the community. if someone was to try and measure…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “what are the qualifications to classify yourself as an asexual?”

February 3, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: This may be a stupid question to ask, but what are the qualifications to classify yourself as an asexual? I think I may be one, but then again I do have my doubts and other people say I’m not, but I’m just not sure. Thanks if you can answer this, sorry if I’m a bother hi, anon. this isn’t a stupid question, nor are you a bother. 🙂 there are no “qualifications” as such, all that really matters (in so far as i’m concerned) is that identifying as asexual feels right for you. the most common definition of asexuality is experiencing sexual attraction towards no one, at least in part because many asexual people feel like that describes them. however, that isn’t the only way to come to identify as asexual and it certainly doesn’t describe everyone who is asexual. the determining factor to whether you’re asexual or not…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 45 – Forced Out of the Closet: 2 Years Later | Coming Out Again (Non-Binary Bi / Pan Asexual)

January 26, 2016 / No Comments

it’s been 2 years since i was forced out of the closet by my mom; it’s been 5 months since my last video about how things are going with my family. this video is long, but it’s also long overdue. the past 5 months have been an emotional roller coaster. from breaking off communication with my mom, to coming out to my sister as bi / panromantic, to being met with further attempts at invalidation, to being “home” for the holidays, to coming out as non-binary to my sister, to FINALLY being referred to by my real name…. 2 years later, things are finally looking up. kind of. only time will tell what 2016 will bring. TRIGGER WARNING for sexual abuse & child abuse with a time jump point in the video itself so you can safely watch and skip the trigger. […] long video is long, but that’s what…

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Vesper H.

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EVERYTHING ASEXUAL AND AROMANTIC (Part 1) | The ABC’s of LGBT

January 15, 2016 / No Comments

youtuber @ashleymardell just released part 1 of her long awaited trilogy on asexuality and aromanticism! this video series is about both asexuality and aromanticism and is part of a larger series of videos called “The ABC’s of LGBT”. you might be thinking that this is probably just another one of those asexuality or aromanticism 101 videos made by someone who isn’t ace or aro themselves, but that’s the thing. it’s actually not!

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Vesper H.

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