aromanticism Archives | Page 2 of 4 | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, [Random] Thoughts, Queer[ness]

re: “aromantic relationships” and marriage as “the New Platonic Ideal”

December 7, 2016 / No Comments

minamina0013: queerascat: minamina0013: queerascat: …as much as i love this thread of posts in theory, my tired ass can’t help but sit here wondering why anyone need even get married at all to do or have any of the above things, the few actual legal matters that were mentioned aside. also, this uplifting of “aromantic relationships” and marriage as “the New Platonic Ideal” feels incredibly uncomfortable… @queerascat I agree I think a lot of those things could be achieved by simply being roommates. It’s pretty funny that what they’re dubbing as “the New Platonic Ideal” already has a name, it’s called “friendship”. Aromantic relationships could be called friendships if that’s how you want to label it but personally as an aro I would consider a relationship with another aro as queer platonic. Our relationship may not be romantic but I wouldn’t say that my QPP(s) and I are just ‘friends’ who…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “So there’s a book called Ashlesha by Jer Keene that has an aro/ace character…”

December 5, 2016 / No Comments

libentianimo said: So there’s a book called Ashlesha by Jer Keene that has an aro/ace character. As in, they EXPLICITLY say the word aromantic and asexual to describe him, and explain what aromantic and asexual mean. Nearly all of the characters are queer-some are bi, some are gay, some are undefined, there’s a nonbinary trans character, and the majority(including the main character) are people of colour. The plot is amazing, too-scifi meets political conspiracies meets action thriller. It’s absolutely AMAZING. this is the book, i believe? it does sound interesting and has a lot of positive reviews on Amazon. thank you for the recommendation. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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February 23, 2016
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Q&A: “Is it possible for someone to be aromantic and bi/pansexual?”

October 21, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous asked: Is it possible for someone to be aromantic and bi/pansexual? I’m not trying to be rude or anything. I’m genuinely curious because you’re one of the few people I’ve come across whose biro/panro and ace, so I’m just wondering if one could be the former. I hope I didn’t word this incorrectly. If this ask comes off as harmful in any way, then I’m sorry. it’s more than possible, anon. i think you’ll find that there are plenty of aromantic bisexuals and aromantic pansexuals out there who would be more than happy to speak to the fact that their existence is more than just a possibility, it’s fact. 🙂 in other words, someone can most certainly be aromantic and bisexual / pansexual, anon, and no worries! your ask is worded just fine.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “…i’ve been thinking i may not be a lesbian but asexual…”

October 14, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: For a while i considered myself a lesbian and now im “talking” to a girl and i’ve been thinking i may not be a lesbian but asexual. I mean there was a time where i didn’t like anyone romantically and sexually. Now this realization is making things really confusing for me and I mean I want to try a relationship with the girl Im talking to but things are just so confusing. Lmao sorry for bothering you about my problems but idk what to do?? you’re not bothering me, anon. no worries. questioning can be really tough in general, but even more so when you’re in the middle of wanting to try having a relationship with someone. that said, questioning doesn’t have to stop you from going ahead and trying a to have a relationship if you don’t want it to. some may prefer to hold off on…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “The term platonic attraction confuses me. Is it somehow different from what people usually think of as friendship?”

October 3, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: The term platonic attraction confuses me. Is it somehow different from what people usually think of as friendship? Does it mean someone you would want to be in a queerplatonic with? you’re far from the only one who’s confused by the term “platonic attraction”, anon. imho, such confusion and misunderstanding is partially to blame for why some people are quick to make light of terms like “panplatonic”, “aplatonic”, etc. such confusion and misunderstanding is also part of the reason why some people prefer to use other terms instead. the word “platonic” is defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary as referring to “a close relationship in which there is no romance or sex.” that said, historically the word and its usage used to be far more nuanced than it often is in modern society. there are literally an infinite number of ways in which a close relationship without romance (with or without sex) could manifest…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “i’m aromantic and i use alterous as an identity and a form of attraction because identifying as panplatonic…”

October 2, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: i’m aromantic and i use alterous as an identity and a form of attraction because identifying as panplatonic e.g. is looked down upon a Lot in the community. it’s the special-snowflake-mogai-tumblr-a-spec-uwu kind of stuff that non a-spec people demonize and it makes me feel icky to identify as such but i still want to express my identity? so i use alterous (re: this post) …ah, yes. the whole “everyone’s panplatonic because everyone makes friends regardless of gender! stop trying so hard to be oppressed you special snowflake lulz” that i’ve seen some ‘discoursers’ spout. usually the same people who also make fun of aplatonic as a term. i totally support you and anyone else who uses alterous for themself regardless of the reason for doing so, anon. at the same time, i can’t help but be annoyed / pissed off that some people’s ignorance has made another identity feel inaccessible…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “do you happen to know any cool aro/ace history?”

September 26, 2016 / No Comments

nohelpwhatsoever said: while on the subject of that “know your bi history” comic post, do you happen to know any cool aro/ace history? i actually haven’t come across any historical aces who aren’t linked to religious celibacy :/ (re: this post) i’m afraid that i’ll be of no help whatsoever (get it?) when it comes to history… of anything, really. history was always one of my least subjects in school because i can barely remember the events of my own life, let alone those of other people’s lives etc… that said, you’re in luck because some people are actually into (and good at) history– more specifically, ace history. i haven’t come across much in the way of aro history, sadly… in terms of ace history, though, definitely check out @historicallyace and their #history tag in particular to find a treasure trove of information about ace history in general. there’s…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “i’m nonbinary and i’m also aro/ace. i no longer WANT to be part of [the LGBT] community…”

September 15, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: okay sorry for dragging this in here, but. i’m nonbinary. and ppl have been saying that nb ppl ARE lgbt+. but here’s the thing: i’m also aro/ace. i no longer WANT to be part of that community, even if i “qualify” bc at the end of the day, they still don’t want me there. they may be accepting of my identity as nb, but that would mean ignoring my identity as aro/ace. if i’m gonna be accepted somewhere, i want to be accepted for all of me, not just part. just my 2 cents. hello anon, i feel you on this. i really do. as a non-binary, bi / pan ace i’ve also been faced with people wanting to selectively choose what part of my “counts” or is “valid reason” for me to be included in something. like you, i am of the stance that acceptance of me is an…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “[my friend] told me that Ace/Aro ppl are not inherently part of the LGBT+ community unless if they identify as LGBT…”

September 13, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi Vesper. I’m still learning about all the different genders and sexualities and spectrums and I was talking to my friend the other day who’s more knowledgable than I am, and she told me that Ace/Aro ppl are not inherently part of the LGBT+ community unless if they identify as LGBT. I’m a little confused by this. Are asexuality and aromanticism not a part of LGBT+? She basically implied that bc Ace/Aro ppl are not part of LGBT+ they do not face oppression. I’m sorry if this is confusing. hello, anon. what your friend told you is nothing but her opinion and it’s an opinion that many, myself included, disagree with. you may feel like your friend is more knowledgeable than you are about gender and sexuality, but she is by no means an expert on the oppression that others do or do not face and it’s rather…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “So I think that I’m aromantic?”

August 15, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: So I think that I’m aromantic? Because like in all my 20 years of living I’ve never ever had any kind of crush or romantic feelings at all. The thing is, the idea of being in a romantic relationship sounds really nice to me. Is it possible to be aro but want to be in a romantic relationship? Like although I don’t get any kind of desire in regards to romance I still kinda want a relationship… I’m so confused it most certainly is possible to be aromantic and to want to be in a romantic relationship. while it is true that some aro people do not want to be in a romantic relationship, being aromantic is still by no means synonymous with not wanting to be in a romantic relationship. in my humble opinion, being aromantic in and of itself says nothing about the types of relationships…

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Vesper H.

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