anon Archives | Page 17 of 29 | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “All the backlash over the #GiveSteveABoyfriend thing is making me feel like crap.”

May 25, 2016 / No Comments

tw: suicide, death, self harm anonymous said: All the backlash over the #GiveSteveABoyfriend thing is making me feel like crap. I’m Christian and queer, and I’m starting to freak out. Maybe it’s right for queer people to kill themselves? Maybe I shouldn’t exist? anon, please take this moment to close Twitter, stop everything you’re doing and just breathe. relax. listen. regardless of whatever anyone else says, who you are as a Christian and as a queer person is valid. as hard as life may be sometimes, please do not throw yours away. your life, and the life of every queer person, is far more valuable and worth living than you seem to think right now. please block and ignore anything that brings you down like this, including the hashtags #GiveSteveABoyfriend and #GiveCaptianAmericaABoyfriend on Twitter. do not subject yourself to people’s bullshit. there are lots of other people in those tags…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’m genderfluid and for example when I’m female or even partly I feel attraction to women (only) and the same goes to when I’m male/masc…”

May 16, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Ok the thing is that I’m genderfluid and for example when I’m female or even partly I feel attraction to women (only) and the same goes to when I’m male/masc. Just wanted to ask if there’s a term/label/word or something to that. So if that’s a real thing? not everyone’s sexuality is fluid even if their gender is. yes, that is a real thing, regardless of whether there’s a term for it or not. some people use the terms gynosexual / gynoromantic to describe attraction to women, without regard to one’s own gender identity, but… i hesitant to even mention these terms, or their male counterparts androsexual / androromantic, at all because of people defining and using these terms in really problematic ways. as tempting as it may be to use these terms because they’re almost like an ‘easy fix’, i do not recommend them. i’m really only mentioning…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I was just trying to see if the definition of lithromantic can be bent according to who experiences it.”

May 16, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi! I was just trying to see if the definition of lithromantic can be bent according to who experiences it. Basically, the definition i experience is the one where once my feelings are reciprocated, that romantic attraction fades away. It doesnt have to necessarily mean that i get uncomfortable with having my feelings reciprocated, does it? Like, i dont necessarily mind if my partner says all these lovey dovey stuff, but most of the time i dont exactly say it back. Sorry im confused ㅠㅠ hi, anon. 🙂 being lithromantic does not mean that one automatically finds reciprocated romantic attraction repulsive upon ones own attraction fading, nor does it imply that one feels any particular way about having one’s romantic attraction reciprocated. being lithromantic means that once romantic attraction is reciprocated, the attraction that you feel fades. that’s all. what happens after that differs from person to person.…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “My boyfriend has just confessed to me that he is also sexually attracted to men but…”

May 6, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi There. My boyfriend has just confessed to me that he is also sexually attracted to men but he is not attracted to them outside of the bedroom. I was reading something online and found out that he might be a heteroromantic bisexual. I would just like to know if there are cases wherein a heteroromantic bisexual man can become a fully homosexual man? Has there been cases that you know of when this has happened? Thank you for your time. hello, anon. for anyone there is a possibility that one’s sexuality may change or that one might discover something new about oneself that one didn’t previously know. this is as true for you as it is for your boyfriend and for anyone else. in fact, this was true even before your boyfriend came out to you. however, the fact that you’ve became concerned about this upon discovering…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “have you seen that discussion about a word for the prejudice against enbies…?”

May 6, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: have you seen that discussion about a word for the prejudice against enbies on vergess’ blog? what do you think? no, i hadn’t seen the discussion prior to this ask. i assume that you’re referring to this discussion which seems to have been triggered by this post? i’m going to reblog the latter post later because what everyone’s saying there is really, really important, but for now i’m in a hurry, so… the condensed version of my thoughts: i think it’s great that @vergess and others are trying to coin a word to describe the unique challenges, prejudice, etc that non-binary people face, which i whole heartedly agree is different from what binary trans people face. personally, i’ve always used ‘non-binary erasure’ and ‘(gender) binarism’ to discuss such things, so i haven’t felt a strong need to coin a word for it. that said, it is true that in years…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “What is the difference between maverique and aporagender?”

May 6, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi! What is the difference between maverique and aporagender? Thanks! i’m going to copy and paste the answer to this because i’m especially low on time and energy today. sorry, anon! What’s the difference between aporagender and maverique? They seem similar. Aporagender and maverique are similar. In fact, they were coined around the exact same time by two different people. What a coincidence! However, according to the coiner of aporagender, aporagender can be used as an umbrella term. It can potentially encompass many genders, whereas maverique is a single, specific gender. That, in my opinion, is the biggest difference between aporagender and maverique. check out the FAQ page of @maveriques where you might find answers to other questions you have. my (and @maveriques‘) askbox is always open, though, if you still have questions. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “Thank you so much for what you’re doing, Vesper…”

May 5, 2016 /

anonymous said: Oh my gosh you are absolutely amazing and wonderful and just askdfl. Thank you so much for what you’re doing, Vesper- it’s helped me so much. Not only has your advocacy helped me understand my own identity, but it has inspired me to educate myself about very important issues regarding gender, sexuality, and the constant marginalization of minority groups in the U.S. (I use the term minority groups bc if I name every group the U.S. devalues we’d be here all day. Which is sad.) Srryifthisisweird D: ….thank you, anon. you really are too kind. i don’t think my actions worthy of being described with such a word, but i’m very much flattered that you consider what i do to be advocacy. i view it as me having a lot of feels and an exhausting inclination for unleashing said feels onto the world in ways that sometimes make…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “been following the allosexual debate. it seems like it’s not really about allosexual?”

May 4, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: been following the allosexual debate. it seems like it’s not really about allosexual? it’s about any term that groups non ace spec people apart from ace spec people, that it’s harmful to talk in any way about people who aren’t ace spec? because any non ace spec term could include people who don’t identify with sexual attraction or who don’t feel sexual attraction is important to or a defining part of their orientation? with the debate being framed on allosexual I’m not sure if I’m parsing right. (I mean about the way that allosexual, or any term for non ace spec people, is intended to be used, as a simple “not us” grouping for discussion purposes, not anything extra/problematic someone might do with the term or lump onto the term) indeed, many of the arguments that people are making against the usage of the word allosexual aren’t even really…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “i am agender, but also a girl, simulaneously and constantly.”

May 2, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: i am agender, but also a girl, simulaneously and constantly. im nervous about telling people this because i dont want them to tell me i cant be be angender AND a girl. i usually just say im nonbinary but specifically im an agender girl. is this okay? of course it’s okay, anon. you aren’t obligated to tell anyone anything about your genders to begin with. if you do choose to tell someone something, it’s entirely up to you what / how much you tell them. in fact, i’m pretty sure that a lot of people come out as non-binary and leave it at that sometimes, not because they don’t identify as a more specific gender (or genders) but just because they don’t want to have to deal with people’s negative reactions or questions. there is absolutely nothing wrong with simplifying or selectively choosing what you tell people because…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “ive been id-ing as genderqueer for a while now bc i know im not a girl or a boy…”

April 28, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: ive been id-ing as genderqueer for a while now bc i know im not a girl or a boy and i definitely have a gender but i dont know what? and ive been very confused on presentation lately bc i want to be understood with an underlying masculinity but wear feminine stuff and im just kinda??? its just very confusing and im very lost hi, anon. 🙂 i understand that feeling confused and lost sucks, but really it’s okay. it’s okay to be confused. it’s okay to not know what your gender is. it’s okay to not be sure how you want to present yourself. it’s okay to not be sure how to achieve how you want to present yourself. it’s okay to not know how your presentation relates to your gender, if it even does at all. as much as being confused and lost sucks, it is…

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Vesper H.

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