Queer As Cat | Page 63 of 74 | gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

5 years and counting…

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May 14, 2018

“love languages”?? communication tool.

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May 1, 2019

allo by default: hypocrisy in “aspec” spaces

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February 25, 2017

“…what it means to become America’s boogieman”

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July 12, 2017

gender feels; racial trauma.

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December 6, 2017

Q&A

Q&A: “Is it possible to be asexual but have sexual preferences?”

June 20, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Is it possible to be asexual but have sexual preferences? Like being sexually aroused by only male or female bodies, but never experiencing sexually attraction to anyone in real life? anyone can have preferences, be they sexual or otherwise. this includes asexuals. however, i’m not sure that who/what arouses someone would be considered sexual preference? after all, who/what arouses someone is beyond one’s control– arousal is a physiological thing that just happens, without any conscious effort or thought? where as a preference involves consciousness/thought….? i’m probably making no sense and complicating what should be a simple question and answer. sorry. :/ imho, the simple answer is “yes.” regarding not ever experiencing sexual attraction to someone in real life, you might be interested in looking into autochorissexual / aegosexual.

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “You’ve easily become one of my favorite people :3.”

June 19, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: As a black, asexual, cat-loving male (though currently questioning my gender) I just want to say that your videos and experiences have been quite relatable (two very religious parents too) and very intriguing to watch. You’ve easily become one of my favorite people :3. ･･･！！(゜ロ゜ノ)ノ i am beyond flattered! thank you! also, i am beyond happy to meet a fellow cat-loving, black ace! we should keep in touch… or something. it’s 1:44am and i was on my way to bed when i got this so had to reply but i’m totally braindead. (ノ゜ο゜)ノ #emoticons #courtesy #ofthefact #thatim #onmy #phone #inbed #zzz #awesomefollowers #areawesome

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
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QAC 37 – Forced Out of the Closet: 1.5 Years Later (Non-Binary Asexual)

June 16, 2015 / No Comments

it’s been nearly a year and a half since i was outted to my ultra religious mom as a non-binary, panromantic / biromantic asexual. things have been, and continue to be, rough between us at times… that said, there has been progress. it took well over a year, but she’s now making an effort to come to terms with part of my sexuality….? meanwhile continuing to completely reject my gender. thus far, the road to acceptance and understanding has been long and hard; sadly, as of now, that road still has no end in sight. ——— LINKS ——— QAC 13 – Staying In The Closet → https://youtu.be/NDyEAyNxoEg QAC 23 – Being Forced Out of the Closet → https://youtu.be/HStZgJ4Ewm8 snippets of conversations with my mom: → http://queerascat.tumblr.com/tagged/conversations-with-mom —————————–

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Vesper H.

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pre-セクマイの交流会 jitters

June 13, 2015 / No Comments

going to another LGBTQIA+ 交流会 / meeting tomorrow and i’m really excited (+ nervous)! unlike all of the past meetings/events that i’ve been to here in Japan, this one explicitly welcomes: bisexuals pansexuals asexuals gray asexuals polyamorous people transgender people genderfluid people genderless / agender people bigender people maveriques people who are questioning as in the website for the meeting describes each and every one of these identities individually rather than using some umbrella term, acronym with symbols, “セクマイ” (commonly used in Japan in place of “LGBT”) or some footnote to mention these people. AND unlike so many LGBTQIA+ events which are held at night / in a club / over alcohol, this event will be like a big tea party and 100% open to minors. AND it’s being held in my little “inaka” (countryside) prefecture, not in fuckin’ Tokyo. HOW FUCKIN’ AWESOME IS THAT??? major props to you, True Colors Project.…

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Vesper H.

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Re: QAC 51 – #ProudToBe Black Non-Binary Bi Pan AND Asexual
June 23, 2016
Q&A

Q&A: “What is the best way to help myself figure out [whether I’m bi or pan]?”

June 7, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: So I can’t tell if I am closer to pan or bi because I live in an area where most people are male or female. What is the best way to help myself figure that out? listen to your heart and go with whichever word you feel describes you. you don’t have to have experience with a person of every gender to identify as one or the other. just go with what feels right based on how you feel now and in the future, if it turns out that another word describes you better, than you can switch to using that word if you so choose. just checking, but do you know that both may describe you? because there is overlap between the two. [+bonus reading]

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Im a lesbian and i am not attracted to penises at all. the girl im dating is trans and…”

June 7, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Im a lesbian and i am not attracted to penises at all,the girl im dating is trans shes really great and im attracted to her but im unsure if i would enjoy having sex with her and i do not want her to be offened for not being attracted to her genitals hello, anon. you don’t seem to be asking a question in this ask, so i’m unsure what kind of response you’re looking for. that said, there seems to be something that you haven’t considered (or at least haven’t mentioned here) that i’d like to point out. while it’s good that you’re concerned about how your lack of attraction* to certain genitalia could be offensive to your girlfriend, you don’t seem to have considered her feelings beyond that? that she may not be comfortable having sex with you to begin with for various reasons. the topic…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “How can I tell the difference between libido and sexual attraction?”

June 1, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: So, I have identified as a panromantic asexual for a while now, but I just entered my first romantic relationship and am beginning to question this. We make out sometimes, and I get aroused. How can I tell the difference between libido and sexual attraction? He’s the only one I would want to have sex with, but is this sexual attraction or just loyalty to my partner? hello, anon! sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask! i can’t tell you whether what you’re experiencing is one thing or another. ultimately, only you can decide that. i can say, however, that becoming aroused can and does happen to anyone, regardless of what their sexual orientation is. it’s simply a physiological reaction to stimuli which has no bearing on one’s sexual orientation. also, i personally do not consider arousal to be the same thing as libido/sex…

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Vesper H.

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TBS to air 2 hour special on “Lesbian Marriage” (May 25th @7:00pm)

May 24, 2015 / No Comments

tomorrow, May 25th @7:00pm on the TBS show 「私の何がイケないの？」 (”What’s wrong with me?”) will be airing a 2 hour special. the topic? “Lesbian Marriage”. apparently the show will be discussing the recent legalization of civil unions (Japan’s calling it marriage but it really isn’t) in Shibuya-ku, the “marriage” of a female geinojin to her wife, the relationship between a former Takarazuka star and her partner and a trans woman (they describe her using the term 女装, ugh) who teaches at Todai?? if anyone gets a chance to watch this, could you let me know what you thought of it? i’ll be at work tomorrow during it, but i’m already cringing a what will probably happen during the show, based on various past experiences with Japan’s media coverage of the LGBT community…

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Vesper H.

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February 23, 2016
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tattoo update

May 24, 2015 / No Comments

one more session to go next month and it’s finished! 😀 just had to show it off online since my employer is making me keep it covered up irl. ;( the design is by me in collaboration with Oshima-san of Apocaript. an update for those who were interested in my last posts. for those who dislike this kind of thing, sorry. this will probably the last time i post about my sleeve between now and when i make my body mod video in August?

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Vesper H.

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just got back from a local LGBT meetup…

May 17, 2015 / No Comments

25 or so people where there, 2 of which were gaijin/foreigners to my surprise! w00t! we went to a national park nearby, saw the sights and had a picnic. i had a great time, much more so than the last meetup i went to. that said, every single time i meet up with a group of cis LGB+ people i’m reminded how much they really don’t understand / know. even if they’re really awesome people who are really kind and with whom you can discuss other stuff with, when it comes to stuff that’s trans and/or non-binary related… yeah. no. now that i’ve successfully gotten my foot in the door with the local LGB community, i really hope to connect more with the T and non-binary/gender variant part of the community… 茨城県ではXジェンダーの人が意外に多いらしい。今から頑張って地本のXジェンダーやトランスの人と繋ぎたいと思う。(*￣ー￣)

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Vesper H.

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