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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I’ve recently been questioning my romantic orientation…”

    October 14, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi, I’ve recently been questioning my romantic orientation. Mainly because I don’t really care what someone’s gender is… Like as long as you’re not a jerk I’m okay with you. For some reason I just don’t know if I’m actually Asexual Heteroromantic, like it’s typically the male gender that I want to have a romantic relationship with but I’ve felt that way about girls? What am I?! (Also I recently discovered your blog and I thinks it’s awesome.) hello and thanks for following. 🙂 i’m afraid that i can’t tell you what you are. after all, there’s no way that i could know more about you than you know about yourself. that said, if you feel like you might be attracted to people of more than one gender (or any gender) then perhaps you are…? trust in your own feelings, but also keep in mind that it’s perfectly fine…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    March 11, 2019

    Re: Tokyo Ace Meetup

    April 5, 2015

    QAC 34 – Distancing Yourself From Family

    February 16, 2015
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “…i’ve been thinking i may not be a lesbian but asexual…”

    October 14, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: For a while i considered myself a lesbian and now im “talking” to a girl and i’ve been thinking i may not be a lesbian but asexual. I mean there was a time where i didn’t like anyone romantically and sexually. Now this realization is making things really confusing for me and I mean I want to try a relationship with the girl Im talking to but things are just so confusing. Lmao sorry for bothering you about my problems but idk what to do?? you’re not bothering me, anon. no worries. questioning can be really tough in general, but even more so when you’re in the middle of wanting to try having a relationship with someone. that said, questioning doesn’t have to stop you from going ahead and trying a to have a relationship if you don’t want it to. some may prefer to hold off on…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Re: “”Visibility””

    September 18, 2017

    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2016 selfies

    May 14, 2016

    Re: QAC 51 – #ProudToBe Black Non-Binary Bi Pan AND Asexual

    June 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “do you think gender admiration can only happen to trans people or to queer people in general?”

    October 13, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: do you think gender admiration can only happen to trans people or to queer people in general? sorry if this bothers you i’m most certainly not an expert on gender admiration / envy, mind you, but… i feel like anyone has the potential to experience it. having said that, i’m currently under the impression that it’s very much a thing among LGBTQIA people and that some are more apt to experience it than others…? and as always with anything of this nature, different people experience it in different ways. for someone who isn’t cis, gender admiration / envy may be related to gender dysphoria and / or gender euphoria, for example, whereas for a cis person it may not be.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    October 18, 2015

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    May 7, 2014
  • [A]sexuality,  Feedback,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Feedback: “your video on attraction & gender envy was rly interesting!”

    October 13, 2016 /

    anonymous said: your video on attraction & gender envy was rly interesting! Im also ace and nb and i think about it a lot about lately. I struggle to separate my looks-based/aesthetic attraction for masc ppl from dysphoria based envy and I thought it was just me! ( re: this post ) with 30+ people and counting on YouTube and many more elsewhere commenting that they’ve also had similar experiences, it looks like neither of us was as alone in our experiences as we’d thought. 🙂

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like

    April 27, 2015

    Ie Uru Onna Gyakushuu S2E3: “A home that is accepting of all [kinds of] love?!”

    January 24, 2019

    AskAPan Week 08 – How I Discovered Pansexuality / Panromanticism

    July 12, 2013
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “If I’m ace/aro can I love aesthetically how any gender looks but…”

    October 13, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: If I’m ace/aro can I love aesthetically how any gender looks but not want a relationship with anyone but girls you most certainly can, anon. aesthetic love does not dictate who you may want to have a relationship with. the only thing that decides that is literally who you want to have a relationship with.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 22 – LGBTQ J-Magazines: Garçon Girls + Novia Novia

    February 10, 2014

    Re: QAC 51 – #ProudToBe Black Non-Binary Bi Pan AND Asexual

    June 23, 2016

    Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2017: ACES & ENBIES

    May 15, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Can a person be bi and just don’t enjoy some type of genitalia?”

    October 12, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi! i have a bit of an akward question: Can a person be bi and just don’t enjoy some type of genitalia? I’m bi and i dislike penises. There’s no way around it, i’ve tried a few and they just don’t do i for me. My LGBTI friends of course tell me i’m actually a lesbian, but that’s not it. It doesn’t matter the gender of the person attatched to the penis, i just don’t like the thing and it freaks me out because what if i’m faking it? Can i be bi and don’t like dick? hi anon, anyone, regardless of their sexual orientation, can be averse to or repulsed by genitalia. genitalia aversion / repulsion– or any other kind of aversion / repulsions for that matter– does not define your sexuality unless you feel like it does. who you’re attracted to (or not attracted to), how…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 55 – Older Asexuals: Coming Out Later In Life | Questioning | Trauma

    October 23, 2016

    Asexy Aces at Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2014 (04/27/2014)

    May 7, 2014

    literal “social distancing” from the ace community

    April 1, 2020
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “how can I tell my friend im ace she doesn’t really believe ace is real…”

    October 12, 2016 / No Comments

    Kat said: Hi Kat again & thank u for responding & may I ask how can I tell my friend im ace she doesn’t really believe ace is real she’s accepting to most things but Idk if I should tell her cuz in a few days she’s taking me on blind date so I can get “laid” there are lots different ways that you can come out to your friend, from sitting her down and having a serious conversation about it with her to waiting for the right opportunity in a conversation to just offhandedly mention it to coming out in an even more creative way. what would work best when coming out to your friend is up to you since you know your relationship with her better than anyone else. as for whether or not to come out to her, if you don’t feel comfortable with coming out to…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    July 27, 2016

    QAC 16 – Asexuality and the LGBTQ Community

    September 9, 2013

    on the discrepancy between “asexual” in English & Japanese and confusion regarding demisexuality.

    May 12, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “It really annoys me when bi and trans allies state that acephobia is “just” recycled biphobia/transphobia/whatever…”

    October 12, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: It really annoys me when bi and trans allies state that acephobia is “just” recycled biphobia/transphobia/whatever. I appreciate the attempted support, because, by all means, let’s compare notes (otherwise, what’s the point?). But it bothers me nonetheless when the hatred specifically aimed at us is described as nothing but misdirected run-off from other groups. I want acephobia to be taken seriously in its own right, not just as a form of accidental collateral damage. Your thoughts? i totally understand where you’re coming from and can relate to feeling miffed at times when seeing some people compare “ace discourse” to past “discourse” involving bi people, trans people, etc. sometimes it’s done well and other times it’s…. yeah. before i say anything else, i have to admit that i myself also compare the current rendition of “ace discourse” and general acephobia on Tumblr to past (and present) “bi discourse” and biphobia…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    August 4, 2017

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    May 17, 2016

    QAC 06 – Coming Out as a Panromantic Asexual

    June 1, 2013
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I have a friend who talks about how much harder they’re life is then asexuals bc they’re bisexual.”

    October 12, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hey vesper i need some advice, whenever I bring up that I’m ace I have a friend who talks about how much harder they’re life is then asexuals bc they’re bisexual. They say asexuals are only oppressed bc they can’t have a significant other bc they don’t want sex. I’ve told them I’m insecure in being ace & they tell me I shouldn’t be bc nobody cares about asexuals. I feel like a horrible person & that it was inconsiderate & ignorant to come out as ace idk what to do or even how to feel anymore hi anon, your “friend” is the one who’s ignorant and inconsiderate, anon, not you. it’s ridiculous that they feel justified in casting aside your feelings at all, let alone based on assumptions about your life as if they even know anything about it. not only that, they’re also ignoring the fact…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “Im 17 and Idk who im romantically attracted to…”

    October 11, 2016 / No Comments

    Kat said: Im 17 and Idk who im romantically attracted to I see girls & guys as cute & I haven’t dated before & don’t care but in the future I would like a partner regardless of gender but wat am i? Ik im ace but like idk if I’m aro or something pls help:) -Kat hi Kat, i’m afraid i can’t actually tell you something about yourself that even you yourself do not know, but i will say this. it sounds like something that you do know about yourself is that you’re ace and that you’d like a partner regardless of gender in the future. that’s actually a lot to know about yourself! 🙂 while it’s obvious that you’d like to know more than that, i hope that at least knowing that much about yourself can be of some comfort or encouragement to you. it’s natural to be curious…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Ie Uru Onna Gyakushuu S2E3: “A home that is accepting of all [kinds of] love?!”

    January 24, 2019

    QAC 22 – LGBTQ J-Magazines: Garçon Girls + Novia Novia

    February 10, 2014

    QAC 37 – Forced Out of the Closet: 1.5 Years Later (Non-Binary Asexual)

    June 16, 2015
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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