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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • Japan[ese],  Queer[ness]

    withU: a new Japanese LGBTQIA+ social networking site

    August 1, 2015 / No Comments

    withUは「全国のLGBTが一つになれる場所」というコンセプトで運営されています。普段の生活では会うことのできなかった人達と出会い、あなたのコミュニティの輪を広げましょう。サイト内の機能はすべて無料で使うことができます。 withUの中ではあなたがLGBTであることを隠す必要はありません。サイトを通じて本当の自分を理解し合える仲間を見つけてください。 withUの参加者はみんながあなたの理解者です。 just want to signal boost a new Japanese LGBTQIA+ social networking site called “withU” for those of you who speak Japanese and/or live in Japan. so far, the site seems very interesting and promising, having gained over 1,000 members since it became public last month. it’s like what would happen if mixi.jp and OKCupid teamed up and made a Japanese site? lol so far, the site seems to be inclusive of not just the L and the G, but also bisexual, pansexual, asexual, transgender and non-binary (Xジェンダー) people. you’re able to select all of these identifiers in your profile and when searching for people. there are even two asexual groups already! 😀 that said, the site does have some kinks to work out… the site seems to load slowly. also, in your profile you are required to make a selection from a dropdown menu titled 「セクシュアリティ」 (’sexuality’) which…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    本の紹介:「Xジェンダーって何?」

    October 4, 2016

    willpower, sweat, and tears

    January 30, 2020

    this quote though

    November 7, 2015
  • [Random] Thoughts

    …whooo

    July 28, 2015 / No Comments

    sorry for going M.I.A., especially to those of you who’ve sent me asks/submissions. i’ve been computerless for the past week since my laptop died *wipes tear from eye* but an amazing friend (you know who you are! THANK YOU!!!) came to my rescue by letting me use her Mac until i can afford to buy a new laptop. <3 so now i’m bumbling around the first Mac that i’ve ever used in my life. whooooo~! i will respond to asks/submissions and start reblogging posts again as soon as i can catch my breath from work. also, i’m hoping to find a program that will let me edit and render my vlogs without paying money…. otherwise my YouTube channel will be dead for months until i get a new laptop. 🙁 in other news, i got to meet the amazing queenieofaces this past weekend! myself and a couple of other aces…

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    Vesper H.

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    allo by default: hypocrisy in “aspec” spaces

    February 25, 2017

    『[4コマ]☆Xジェンダー☆』

    July 31, 2016

    insert self-indulgence here.

    August 16, 2017
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Quick question: is agender a part of non-binary?”

    July 21, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hey! Quick question: is agender a part of non-binary? I always think so, but I never really hear them in the same context. Thanks, I know you’re usually rather busy!   hi! any gender that does not fit into one of the two categories that society systematic splits gender into (ie. male / female) is commonly considered to be a non-binary gender. this includes agender as an agender person is neither male nor female. that said, how an agender person views themself in relation to the non-binary community at large is up to them. 🙂

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I was curious about how one goes about figuring out how one is asexual.”

    July 21, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hello, Vesper. I was curious about how one goes about figuring out how one is asexual. I know I am gender neutral, or non-binary, but I have been questioning my sexuality. I know I have a high sex drive, but I’m unsure about my sexual attraction. I am sexually attracted to two people that I have know for almost a decade now, but those are the only two I’ve ever had a sexual attraction to. Also I appoligize about going anon, but I dont feel comfortable stating my sex drive under my profile. :o)   hi. 🙂 sorry for not responding sooner. you’re probably already aware of this, but figuring out one’s sexuality is an extremely personal process/journey. there is no particulare way that one goes about doing it. that said, i think that the process/journey regarding discovering one’s sexuality is similar in some ways to how one…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I literally feel myself becoming less into women and more into men. What should I do?”

    July 17, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi, I have identified as pans but since I have been with my girlfriend for the past 5 years and with another girl 2 years before that ppl just assume I’m lesbian which I never minded until I started to take an interest in guys. I’ve told my gf but I don’t think she understands how much this is eating me up. I literally feel myself becoming less into women and more into men. What should I do? We are planning our future but for me I’m confused about everything I’ve began to accept about myself.   hi, anon. sorry for taking so long to reply. i’m sorry to hear that you’re in such a tough situation. 🙁 i can’t tell you what you should do, but i would suggest that you try again to communicate exactly how you feel to your girlfriend. this is just my opinion…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    …in which i stopped talking to my mom

    July 12, 2015 / No Comments

    not sure where to start with this post… i can’t backtrack enough to even possibly cover all the things that lead up to where i’m at now. so i’ve been “out” to my mom as a non-binary, pan/biromantic asexual for a year and a half now. a few weeks ago i made a vlog about it, talking about… well, how mom has made very little-to-no progress in regards to accepting or understanding who i am and how much that hurts. i won’t go into details because the details can be found in the vlog. shortly after making that vlog (as in literally days later) a belated birthday card from mom came in the mail. i made this post about it, which you should read for the sake of context. after receiving that response from mom, i muted notifications from her and haven’t spoken to her since. literally since before this…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Snapchat rant #457

    July 15, 2016

    QAC 19.5 – Life Update: Thank you! + Names + Japan

    November 15, 2013

    QAC 47 –  Re: “Transitioning” in Japan / Body Mods & Dysphoria || Tea & Word Vomit

    February 28, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Is it normal to go back and forth on my sexuality?”

    July 10, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Is it normal to go back and forth on my sexuality? Like for a year claim im bi, then like turn around and the next year say im a lesbian but then question it again 2 years later?…   not everyone is always (or ever) 100% certain of their sexuality. sexuality is very, very complex. hell, for some people it even changes over time. as such, some people question their sexuality for months or years, some people are perpetually in a state of uncertainty and some eventually identify as one thing or another only to question that identity again down the road. and all of this is 100% ok. there is nothing wrong with or strange about questioning one’s sexuality. there is nothing wrong with changing the word(s) you use to describe yourself, no matter how many times you do it. regardless of whether it is just the…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “What is sexual attraction exactly?”

    July 9, 2015 / No Comments

    fajitasvanitas said: (Coming from an ace) what is sexual attraction exactly? Is it like “I want to have sex with this person?” Or??   coming from another ace who has never actually experienced sexual attraction first hand, that sounds about right. at least, in so far as i understand it. or as i put it in another post re: libido vs sexual attraction: for many people (including asexuals), it can be hard to distinguish between sexual attraction and sex drive/libido because they often do influence each other. if a sexual person feels sexually attracted to someone, that someone generally becomes the driving force behind one’s sex drive. however, it is totally possible to experience one without the other.   in other words, sexual attraction is being attraction to/drawn to someone in such a way that that person becomes the target of one’s sexual feelings (libido).

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Is it okay to question your sexuality or romantic attraction after being certain your whole life?”

    July 9, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Is it okay to question your sexuality or romantic attraction after being certain your whole life? I’ve reached a point where I’m not sure anymore and I’m very confused, both sexually and romantically.   not only is it okay, it’s actually not uncommon. many people don’t begin actively questioning their sexual orientation, romantic orientation or even gender identity until later in life. you’re not alone, anon. also, while being confused about these things can be very stressful, it’s also okay and even natural to be confused. you’re going through a process of self-discovery. confusion is simply a part of that process. hang in there, anon! and all the best.

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “…do you think there could be other types of attraction?”

    July 7, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I know a lot of the time in discussions about asexual identities people break down attraction into 4 different categories: sexual, romantic, aesthetic, sensual (well and sometimes platonic). But do you think there could be other types of attraction? Sometimes I see people and I feel /something/ but I wouldn’t really categorize it as one of those – argh its so confusing! Am I just experiencing one of those types of attraction in a strange way?? without a doubt there could be (read: probably is) more to attraction than the categories that the ace and aro communities tend to refer to. attraction, as with feelings in general, is an insanely complex thing that most certainly cannot be neatly boxed into or described by categories. it doesn’t get said enough that not everyone even finds the existing categories helpful or meaningful in describing their attraction(s). you could be experiencing…

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    Vesper H.

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    literal “social distancing” from the ace community

    April 1, 2020

    QAC 37 – Forced Out of the Closet: 1.5 Years Later (Non-Binary Asexual)

    June 16, 2015

    QAC 01 – Introduction

    May 11, 2013
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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