transgender Archives | Page 7 of 9 | Queer As Cat

[Random] Thoughts, Gender[queer], Queer[ness], YouTube[r]

QAC 47 – Re: “Transitioning” in Japan / Body Mods & Dysphoria || Tea & Word Vomit

February 28, 2016 / No Comments

Queer As Cat (the channel) is about to turn 3 years old and (miraculously) reached 4k subscribers last week…! and for some reason i feel like taking this channel back to old times where i casually vomit words at you in a single, raw take. to make this word vomit a bit more digestible, here’s the gist of what i talk about with time points. 00:00 – tea tea tea 00:33 – 4k subscribers omg 02:05 – financial stress: why i’ve made some changes to the channel 05:30 – rethinking “transitioning” in Japan 10:51 – body mods & dysphoria: how the two are linked for me 15:35 – tea or coffee: which do you prefer? as always, thank you for watching. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “is it ever okay to ask someone what their biological sex is?”

February 4, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: sorry if this is a stupid question but is it ever okay to ask someone what their biological sex is? like maybe if you’re close enough or they’re open enough and you’re just curious or whatever would that be acceptable or is it considered rude? there is no “yes” or “no” answer to this question. how a person will feel about a personal question like that is entirely dependent upon the the person being asked, the relationship that the asker has with that person and the context within which the question is being asked, among other things. ultimately such information is none of anyone else’s business and it’s up to the person being asked to decide if they feel like disclosing such information to you. if for some reason you feel like you cannot keep such a question to yourself, the best you can do is ask as politely and…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I think I’m a ciswoman, but I don’t know if I really felt related to other women…”

January 4, 2016 / No Comments

Hi! I think I always felt comfortable with my gender and body, but it’s been a few days I’m looking for things on genders and identites to learn things. I think I’m a ciswoman, but I don’t know if I really felt related to other women. I feel related to women characters in medias and through feminism/sexism. But when my friends say “Hey, we’re women/you’re a woman/as women”, I’m like “and?” In fact, I think I identify as a woman but I don’t really care about my gender… I don’t know if I’m just a ciswoman trying to question myself for no reason or if I’m more in a grey area, like greygender and/or demigirl. Because I never questionned my gender. But when thinking about, the gender binary is just weird and I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel like “as a woman”. Maybe it’s like asexuality and aromanticism:…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “”Wow, I would have never known you use to be a girl!” How would that be offensive?”

November 26, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I saw the pictures you reposted with the transgender people. The one that said, “Wow, I would have never known you use to be a girl!” How would that be offensive? I feel like that would be an okay thing to say? Sorry if I’m coming off as rude. ? (the post in question) saying something like that to a trans person is offensive for several reasons. perhaps some of the biggest reasons are that: a trans person never “used to be” anything. just because doctors and society assumed them to be something else in the past doesn’t mean they were ever anything other than the gender that they are. just as a trans man doesn’t start being a man after transitioning, a trans man doesn’t stop being a girl after transitioning. they were never a girl to begin with. it can be dysphoria inducing to have someone…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “my friends told me she decided that “mom” is gender neutral and shes going to keep calling me that…”

November 13, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: my friend group has always had this thing where they call me “mom”. a while ago I came out as trans to most of them, and one of my friends told me she decided that “mom” is gender neutral and shes going to keep calling me that bc it’s just our thing. but it’s kind of been bothering me lately bc I don’t want that used for me anymore. I feel like if I tell them that, they’ll get annoyed and ignore me and think I’m making a big deal out of it, when it actually kind of makes me dysphoric. my humble opinion is that you should be up front with them. tell them what you’ve told me, that being referred to as “mom” makes you feel dysphoric/that you aren’t comfortable being referred to as that anymore. if they’re really your friends they shouldn’t ignore or belittle your…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “can a person also choose to be a gender that doesn’t align with the one they were assigned at birth?”

November 8, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: So I know it is possible to choose to be queer and that doesn’t make a person’s queer identity any less legitimate, but can a person also choose to be a gender that doesn’t align with the one they were assigned at birth? I think I might be agender, but this isn’t something that “I’ve always known,” which I feel like is the typical narrative around trans folk. …well, first off, i should probably say that i do not think that it’s possible to choose to be queer. it’s certainly true that one chooses to identify as queer and that if one comes to identify as queer due to outside factors, that does not make that queer identity any less legitimate, sure. but even then being queer isn’t a choice. one doesn’t wake up one day and choose to be queer. and i’m pretty sure that’s not what…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “[mom’s] been telling me is that if I really am trans, I would’ve known since I was little.”

October 29, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I came out to my mom yesterday as trans, and I kind of regret it. all she’s been telling me is that if I really am trans, I would’ve known since I was little. she’s telling me it’s probably just a phase and that I need to talk to someone. she seems really set on it, as if it’s just a problem to be solved. she told me I’m probably having an identity crisis. I don’t know what to do anymore, and I feel invalid. was I really supposed to know from a young age? it very much sounds like your mom is currently struggling with denial and grief, which is really common when a child comes out to their parent(s). she’s basically projecting her own feelings onto you, desperately hoping that she’s right. she’s telling you the same things she’s telling herself in an attempt to cope…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Aren’t gays and lesbians inherently transphobic…?”

October 12, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Aren’t gays and lesbians inherently transphobic because they reinforce genitalia=gender by only having sex with people as the same genitals as their own? …………..i’m going to respond to this in the format of a list because after sitting on this ask for nearly a day i have decided that that is the best way to keep this response from turning into a rant. when a person (regardless of their sexuality) is attracted to someone else they are attracted to that person’s character, to their self-expression, to their smile, to their identity, to their voice, to who they are as a person. people do not use x-ray vision to look through a person’s clothing to see what genitalia they have and decide whether they find that genitalia attractive or not. why are you equating same-gender attraction with same-genitalia attraction? there actually are people of every orientation who find…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 40 – The Gender Tag! | Maverique

October 12, 2015 / No Comments

me talking about my non-binary gender, maverique, as part of The Gender Tag, a project by Ashley Wylde. i also rant a bit about navigating my gender when even the non-binary community seems a bit too tied to the gender binary. – if you’re unfamiliar with The Gender Tag Project, find out more here: http://ashleywylde.com/videos/the-gender-tag-project/ – if you’re interested in learning more about maverique, check out: http://maveriques.tumblr.com/ ========= The Gender Tag Prompts ========= @00:35 1. How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that definition mean to you? @02:26 2. What pronouns honor you? @02:31 3. Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear. @04:13 4. Talk about your choices with body hair. How do you style your hair? Do you have facial hair? What do you choose to shave, or choose not to shave? @06:47 5. Talk about cosmetics. Do you choose to wear makeup? Do you paint your nails? What…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 37 – Forced Out of the Closet: 1.5 Years Later (Non-Binary Asexual)

June 16, 2015 / No Comments

it’s been nearly a year and a half since i was outted to my ultra religious mom as a non-binary, panromantic / biromantic asexual. things have been, and continue to be, rough between us at times… that said, there has been progress. it took well over a year, but she’s now making an effort to come to terms with part of my sexuality….? meanwhile continuing to completely reject my gender. thus far, the road to acceptance and understanding has been long and hard; sadly, as of now, that road still has no end in sight. ——— LINKS ——— QAC 13 – Staying In The Closet → https://youtu.be/NDyEAyNxoEg QAC 23 – Being Forced Out of the Closet → https://youtu.be/HStZgJ4Ewm8 snippets of conversations with my mom: → http://queerascat.tumblr.com/tagged/conversations-with-mom —————————–

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Vesper H.

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