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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • Gender[queer],  Q&A

    Q&A: “…isn’t it equally true that you can’t know someone’s gender just by looking at them?”

    March 9, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: On the “you can’t know someone’s genitals just by looking at them” line of thought, isn’t it equally true that you can’t know someone’s gender just by looking at them? I’ve definitely been attracted to people who I later found out were a different gender than I thought they were. indeed, you can’t tell someone’s gender just by looking at them and it can suck for everyone involved when someone is assumed to be a gender that they are not. the same could be said of sexuality; about “gaydar” and other assumptions that people make about someone’s sexuality based on looks (or mannerisms, etc). sadly, society and human interaction in general operates on assumptions, even when it comes to the most everyday of things. to some extent, assumptions are unavoidable. no one is psychic, so one has to venture a guess at things and act based on that guess…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “do you have any opposition to non-medically transitioning nonbinary people using…”

    March 6, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: do you have any opposition to non-medically transitioning nonbinary people using transgender as an identity term? saw your ask with the project person and am wondering i’m not against anyone identifying as transgender. a person’s desire to transition (or lack of desire to transition) says nothing of their identity as a trans person. my response in the post in question was strictly speaking of my personal relationship with trans identity. i totally stand in solidarity with anyone, non-binary or not, who identifies as trans but does not want to (or cannot) transition medically or otherwise. 🙂

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    July 13, 2019

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    May 14, 2016

    QAC 65 – 1 Month on Low Dose HRT | Non-Binary | Mental Health || The T Files #005

    February 12, 2018
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “i know you identify as maverique but i was wondering if you also consider yourself trans?”

    March 5, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: hi, i know you identify as maverique but i was wondering if you also consider yourself trans? this is for a project im doing, in which i take stats on what labels nonbinary people use, and after looking on your about page, i was curious? thank you, i hope this is alright to ask hi. 🙂 i identify as maverique and as non-binary, but i do not personally identify as trans for various reasons that are related to me also not wanting to use the term “transition” to describe myself or the things that i (intend to) do. see this video for more info. having said that, your project sounds interesting. 🙂 i’d definitely be interested in hearing about your findings. i’ve long since been annoyed by the trans-cis binary that exists both within and outside of the trans community and i’m sure your findings will be influenced by that…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    April 24, 2016

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    July 14, 2016
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 47 –  Re: “Transitioning” in Japan / Body Mods & Dysphoria || Tea & Word Vomit

    February 28, 2016 / No Comments

    Queer As Cat (the channel) is about to turn 3 years old and (miraculously) reached 4k subscribers last week…! and for some reason i feel like taking this channel back to old times where i casually vomit words at you in a single, raw take. to make this word vomit a bit more digestible, here’s the gist of what i talk about with time points. 00:00 – tea tea tea 00:33 – 4k subscribers omg 02:05 – financial stress: why i’ve made some changes to the channel 05:30 – rethinking “transitioning” in Japan 10:51 – body mods & dysphoria: how the two are linked for me 15:35 – tea or coffee: which do you prefer? as always, thank you for watching. 🙂

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 07 – Transmasculine & Transfeminine (my opinion)

    June 4, 2013

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    October 12, 2015

    QAC 19.5 – Life Update: Thank you! + Names + Japan

    November 15, 2013
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “is it ever okay to ask someone what their biological sex is?”

    February 4, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: sorry if this is a stupid question but is it ever okay to ask someone what their biological sex is? like maybe if you’re close enough or they’re open enough and you’re just curious or whatever would that be acceptable or is it considered rude? there is no “yes” or “no” answer to this question. how a person will feel about a personal question like that is entirely dependent upon the the person being asked, the relationship that the asker has with that person and the context within which the question is being asked, among other things. ultimately such information is none of anyone else’s business and it’s up to the person being asked to decide if they feel like disclosing such information to you. if for some reason you feel like you cannot keep such a question to yourself, the best you can do is ask as politely and…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I think I’m a ciswoman, but I don’t know if I really felt related to other women…”

    January 4, 2016 / No Comments

    Hi! I think I always felt comfortable with my gender and body, but it’s been a few days I’m looking for things on genders and identites to learn things. I think I’m a ciswoman, but I don’t know if I really felt related to other women. I feel related to women characters in medias and through feminism/sexism. But when my friends say “Hey, we’re women/you’re a woman/as women”, I’m like “and?” In fact, I think I identify as a woman but I don’t really care about my gender… I don’t know if I’m just a ciswoman trying to question myself for no reason or if I’m more in a grey area, like greygender and/or demigirl. Because I never questionned my gender. But when thinking about, the gender binary is just weird and I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel like “as a woman”. Maybe it’s like asexuality and aromanticism:…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “”Wow, I would have never known you use to be a girl!” How would that be offensive?”

    November 26, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I saw the pictures you reposted with the transgender people. The one that said, “Wow, I would have never known you use to be a girl!” How would that be offensive? I feel like that would be an okay thing to say? Sorry if I’m coming off as rude. ? (the post in question) saying something like that to a trans person is offensive for several reasons. perhaps some of the biggest reasons are that: a trans person never “used to be” anything. just because doctors and society assumed them to be something else in the past doesn’t mean they were ever anything other than the gender that they are. just as a trans man doesn’t start being a man after transitioning, a trans man doesn’t stop being a girl after transitioning. they were never a girl to begin with. it can be dysphoria inducing to have someone…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “my friends told me she decided that “mom” is gender neutral and shes going to keep calling me that…”

    November 13, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: my friend group has always had this thing where they call me “mom”. a while ago I came out as trans to most of them, and one of my friends told me she decided that “mom” is gender neutral and shes going to keep calling me that bc it’s just our thing. but it’s kind of been bothering me lately bc I don’t want that used for me anymore. I feel like if I tell them that, they’ll get annoyed and ignore me and think I’m making a big deal out of it, when it actually kind of makes me dysphoric. my humble opinion is that you should be up front with them. tell them what you’ve told me, that being referred to as “mom” makes you feel dysphoric/that you aren’t comfortable being referred to as that anymore. if they’re really your friends they shouldn’t ignore or belittle your…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “can a person also choose to be a gender that doesn’t align with the one they were assigned at birth?”

    November 8, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: So I know it is possible to choose to be queer and that doesn’t make a person’s queer identity any less legitimate, but can a person also choose to be a gender that doesn’t align with the one they were assigned at birth? I think I might be agender, but this isn’t something that “I’ve always known,” which I feel like is the typical narrative around trans folk. …well, first off, i should probably say that i do not think that it’s possible to choose to be queer. it’s certainly true that one chooses to identify as queer and that if one comes to identify as queer due to outside factors, that does not make that queer identity any less legitimate, sure. but even then being queer isn’t a choice. one doesn’t wake up one day and choose to be queer. and i’m pretty sure that’s not what…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “[mom’s] been telling me is that if I really am trans, I would’ve known since I was little.”

    October 29, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I came out to my mom yesterday as trans, and I kind of regret it. all she’s been telling me is that if I really am trans, I would’ve known since I was little. she’s telling me it’s probably just a phase and that I need to talk to someone. she seems really set on it, as if it’s just a problem to be solved. she told me I’m probably having an identity crisis. I don’t know what to do anymore, and I feel invalid. was I really supposed to know from a young age? it very much sounds like your mom is currently struggling with denial and grief, which is really common when a child comes out to their parent(s). she’s basically projecting her own feelings onto you, desperately hoping that she’s right. she’s telling you the same things she’s telling herself in an attempt to cope…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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