On the “you can’t know someone’s genitals just by looking at them” line of thought, isn’t it equally true that you can’t know someone’s gender just by looking at them? I’ve definitely been attracted to people who I later found out were a different gender than I thought they were.
indeed, you can’t tell someone’s gender just by looking at them and it can suck for everyone involved when someone is assumed to be a gender that they are not.
the same could be said of sexuality; about “gaydar” and other assumptions that people make about someone’s sexuality based on looks (or mannerisms, etc).
sadly, society and human interaction in general operates on assumptions, even when it comes to the most everyday of things. to some extent, assumptions are unavoidable. no one is psychic, so one has to venture a guess at things and act based on that guess sometimes.
however, there are times when guessing or assuming isn’t necessary because one could simply ask the person in question. or one could get what needs to be done without making any assumption at all, even if the assumption would make things easier for you.
also, some faulty assumptions have only minor consequences, while others have much more grave– if not outright deadly consequences.
…and i’m not even going anywhere specific with this other than to say that navigating society is fucking hard. the least we could all strive to do is not make it harder for each other? [/soapbox]