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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I’m genderfluid and for example when I’m female or even partly I feel attraction to women (only) and the same goes to when I’m male/masc…”

    May 16, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Ok the thing is that I’m genderfluid and for example when I’m female or even partly I feel attraction to women (only) and the same goes to when I’m male/masc. Just wanted to ask if there’s a term/label/word or something to that. So if that’s a real thing? not everyone’s sexuality is fluid even if their gender is. yes, that is a real thing, regardless of whether there’s a term for it or not. some people use the terms gynosexual / gynoromantic to describe attraction to women, without regard to one’s own gender identity, but… i hesitant to even mention these terms, or their male counterparts androsexual / androromantic, at all because of people defining and using these terms in really problematic ways. as tempting as it may be to use these terms because they’re almost like an ‘easy fix’, i do not recommend them. i’m really only mentioning…

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    Vesper H.

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    April 29, 2017

    QAC 24 – Labels: Why They’re Important + Why I Use Them

    March 17, 2014

     “Things Asexual People Want You To Know” – BuzzFeed LGBT

    October 29, 2017
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “i have a question if i’m agender and i like cis girls and genderqueer people…”

    April 14, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Eyy, i have a question if i’m agender and i like cis girls and genderqueer people… What’s my sexual orientation? yeaaah, putting a name to one’s orientation does get complicated when non-binary people are involved, doesn’t it? that said, i’m afraid i can’t tell you what your sexual orientation is. that’s something that you’ll have to decide. there are non-binary and/or agender people who are attracted to girls and genderqueer people who identify as bi since bi is defined as attraction to two or more genders, but there are also non-binary and/or agender people who experience similar attraction but don’t identify as bi. what matters most is what word / identity feels “right” to you. whatever word / identity that may be, try running with that and see how it feels. you can always change it if it doesn’t feel right. 🙂 sidenote: i’m assuming you have reasons for…

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    Vesper H.

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    “maverique” v2.0

    June 15, 2014

    QAC 49 – Singular ‘They’ | Gender Neutral Pronouns | This Has Been A PSA

    April 24, 2016

    *scribble scribble*

    September 15, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    non-binary gender norms & (a)sexuality: yeah, no.

    March 28, 2016 / No Comments

    the following post was originally a vlog that was submitted for the March 2016 Carnival of Aces based on the theme “Gender Norms and Asexuality.” check out The Asexual Agenda’s Carnival of Aces Masterpost for more information. a lot of people feel like there is a connection between one’s gender and sexuality, be it in the form of gender roles, “gender presentation”, sexual attraction (or lack thereof) et cetera ad infinitum. having said that, i’m not going to lie… i really don’t get it.

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    Vesper H.

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    February 10, 2014

    QAC 11 – Growing Up Ace (Asexual)

    July 21, 2013

    spotted: same-gender marriage feature on Japanese news

    October 12, 2015
  • Feedback

    Feedback: “I’m in America, I don’t see any connection between my gender/sexuality. However, when I studied abroad in Italy, I felt like gender norms…”

    March 28, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I just watched your new video on being non-binary and ace. When I’m in America, I don’t see any connection between my gender/sexuality. However, when I studied abroad in Italy, I felt like gender norms there were more strong and rigid. I identify as mostly a girl but in Italy there is so much open hypersexualization of black women. I wanted to be completely invisible,masculine, and felt way more asexual and dysphoric than in America. Do you experience these changes in intensity when you travel?   oh my god yes. a million times yes. gender norms, like social norms in general, are very much tied to culture, which means that they differ from culture to culture. on top of that, when you’re immersed in a culture that’s different from your own, the differences can exacerbate how one feels about the norms of the culture you’re immersed in… while…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 48 – Non-Binary Gender Norms & (A)sexuality: Yeah, No.

    March 27, 2016 / 1 Comment

    for many the intersection of gender identity, gender norms and sexuality is complicated, to say the least. so what happens when the world doesn’t even know that your gender identity exists? when there are literally few, if any, gender norm associated with your gender? when your sexuality itself is as invisible as your gender identity and non-existent gender norms? welcome to Vesperland, where even the most complicated of things somehow manages to become even more complicated. this video is a submission for the March 2016 Carnival of Aces based on the theme “Gender Norms and Asexuality.” to find out more, check out The Asexual Agenda’s Carnival of Aces Masterpost. …has anyone ever submitted a video for the Carnival of Aces? hmm… this video will be accompanied by a text version that i’ll post tomorrow, but please don’t let that stop you from watching the video. i’ll add captions to the…

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    Vesper H.

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    September 18, 2017

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    May 6, 2016

    allo by default: hypocrisy in “aspec” spaces

    February 25, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “People have told me that my attraction to women with vaginas is transphobic…”

    March 6, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: My friend & I both identify as queer women. She is only attracted to masculine-identified and presenting people with vaginas, and I am only attracted to feminine-identified and presenting people with vaginas. So she only dates masculine women and non-binary afab people and trans men, and I only date feminine women and non-binary afab people. People have told me that my attraction to women with vaginas is transphobic and hers isn’t. But what’s the difference? Am I really transphobic? i can only really tell you my opinion, which i’m sure not everyone will agree with, but… when i first read this ask i had to stop and read it over a few times because i see several things about both attractions that are potentially offensive / cissexist / transphobic. it’s obvious that you’ve tried to word things in a way that avoids misgendering people and associating gender with…

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    Vesper H.

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    「やがて君になる」/ “Yagate Kimi ni Naru”: an aro/ace coded, sapphic ‘love story’…?

    October 8, 2018

    QAC 54 – Confusing Gender Envy & Admiration with Attraction || Non-Binary | Asexual

    October 10, 2016

    AskAPan Week 07 – Family responses to the LGBTQ community

    July 5, 2013
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I have been questioning my sexuality lately.”

    March 5, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hi I have been questioning my sexuality lately. I have once dated a girl but we felt awkward. I have gotten “crushes” on girls but i am not sure if I think I like them or if I actually do. I never really get butterflies looking a them. Please help. Thank you. hi anon, not everyone gets the proverbial “butterflies in their stomach” when they like someone, so it’s probably best not to focus on that when trying to figure out how you feel about someone. if you think you like someone, the only advice i can give you is to just go with that. this may be easier said than done, but try to explore those feelings. give yourself a chance to see whether you do or don’t like that someone. take notice of the ways in which you do like them, if you even like them at…

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    Vesper H.

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    …one of many examples of why navigating セクマイ / LGBTQIA spaces in Japan can be painful at times.

    October 7, 2016

    IF {subcommunity building} THEN {…?}

    March 11, 2019

    Japanese gender / queer theory, anyone?

    May 22, 2017
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “what are the qualifications to classify yourself as an asexual?”

    February 3, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: This may be a stupid question to ask, but what are the qualifications to classify yourself as an asexual? I think I may be one, but then again I do have my doubts and other people say I’m not, but I’m just not sure. Thanks if you can answer this, sorry if I’m a bother hi, anon. this isn’t a stupid question, nor are you a bother. 🙂 there are no “qualifications” as such, all that really matters (in so far as i’m concerned) is that identifying as asexual feels right for you. the most common definition of asexuality is experiencing sexual attraction towards no one, at least in part because many asexual people feel like that describes them. however, that isn’t the only way to come to identify as asexual and it certainly doesn’t describe everyone who is asexual. the determining factor to whether you’re asexual or not…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Is there a term for sexuality being constantly fluid?”

    January 30, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Is there a term for sexuality being constantly fluid? Like the sexual orientation version of genderfluid? hi anon! sorry for not replying sooner. i’m not aware of a specific term for when someone experiences constant sexual fluidity, but that certainly doesn’t mean that one doesn’t exist. perhaps my followers know of such a term and can help you out? i know that some people (multisexual people especially) experience fluctuations in regards to the gender(s) that they are attracted at any given time throughout their life, but i’m guessing that that isn’t what you’re referring to. followers? know of anything that might help anon?

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “do you think you could help me explain why sexuality is not the same as having a “racial preference”…?”

    January 9, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Hey, do you think you could help me explain why sexuality is not the same as having a “racial preference” for who you date? Like I know they’re different but I can’t seem to explain it very well. Thanks!! hi anon! sorry for taking so long to reply. in my humble opinion, “sexuality” is a very broad term that is used to describe a wide variety of things, including preferences that a person may have with regards to gender, number of partners, types of relationships, hair color/type/location, race, and a million other things. racial preference is a thing that could be considered relevant to a person’s sexuality. that doesn’t mean it isn’t or can’t be racist to have such a preference. that said, i get the feeling that you’re looking to explain the difference between sexual orientation and racial preference rather than sexuality in general. that is a…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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