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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A not Q&A: “I’ve heard of heteroflexible and gayflexible which means…”

    February 14, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: For the anon looking for a word / term: I’ve heard of heteroflexible and gayflexible which means you’re usually attracted to the other / same gender but sometimes also the same / other gender. I could also imagine biflexible and so on… (in response to this anon) heteroflexible and homoflexible (i’ve never heard of gayflexible nor biflexible) are words that i’m familiar with, but they’re also words that i personally don’t care to suggest to people. for one, the way i’ve seen these words defined and used seems problematic to me. let’s look at their definitions, for example. Heteroflexibility is a form of a sexual orientation or situational sexual behavior characterized by minimal homosexual activity in an otherwise primarily heterosexual orientation that is considered to distinguish it from bisexuality. (Wikipedia) [Homoflexiblity] describes someone attracted primarily to members of the same sex (homosexual), but occasionally attracted to members of the…

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 23 – Being Forced Out of the Closet (Bi/Panromantic Non-binary Asexual)

    February 24, 2014

    landscapes and fissures: navigating ace terminology in Japanese & English

    June 1, 2018

    #TRP2017

    May 11, 2017
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “How do you know you’re maverique?”

    February 9, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: How do you know you’re maverique? Because I don’t know how to have a sense of this gender nor do I have anyone to talk to about. hi, anon. 🙂 i think this post pretty much answers your question, but also check out this post where i respond to someone else who is trying to get a sense of their own gender. i know it can be really tough not having anyone to talk to about something like this, but you’re not alone! i know that talking to strangers on the internet isn’t the same as actually sitting down and talking to someone, but the internet can still be a great place to start meeting people with whom you can talk to about something like this. hell, you’re already here talking to me about it. 🙂 i’m more than happy to lend a ear and help if i…

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    Vesper H.

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    adventures in Japanese TV: “Gathering of 13 Trans Women”

    February 9, 2017

    QAC 37 – Forced Out of the Closet: 1.5 Years Later (Non-Binary Asexual)

    June 16, 2015

    *scribble scribble*

    September 15, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “what are the qualifications to classify yourself as an asexual?”

    February 3, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: This may be a stupid question to ask, but what are the qualifications to classify yourself as an asexual? I think I may be one, but then again I do have my doubts and other people say I’m not, but I’m just not sure. Thanks if you can answer this, sorry if I’m a bother hi, anon. this isn’t a stupid question, nor are you a bother. 🙂 there are no “qualifications” as such, all that really matters (in so far as i’m concerned) is that identifying as asexual feels right for you. the most common definition of asexuality is experiencing sexual attraction towards no one, at least in part because many asexual people feel like that describes them. however, that isn’t the only way to come to identify as asexual and it certainly doesn’t describe everyone who is asexual. the determining factor to whether you’re asexual or not…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “What are some good ways to feel your gender?”

    January 19, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: What are some good ways to feel your gender? I don’t know how to feel what my gender really is because I have no one to talk to about this irl.   hi! sorry for taking so long to reply to your ask. you might find this post helpful, where i talk about what gender is (to me) and how i have a strong sense of my own gender. also, check out this post where i talk about what makes me so sure of my own gender. the only real advice i have, if any, is to keep in mind that it’s absolutely okay to not be sure of your gender; to try to be more mindful of your own feelings and experiences (past & present); to allow yourself the time and space to question yourself. it’s all too easy to feel like you have to put a specific…

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    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I think I’m a ciswoman, but I don’t know if I really felt related to other women…”

    January 4, 2016 / No Comments

    Hi! I think I always felt comfortable with my gender and body, but it’s been a few days I’m looking for things on genders and identites to learn things. I think I’m a ciswoman, but I don’t know if I really felt related to other women. I feel related to women characters in medias and through feminism/sexism. But when my friends say “Hey, we’re women/you’re a woman/as women”, I’m like “and?” In fact, I think I identify as a woman but I don’t really care about my gender… I don’t know if I’m just a ciswoman trying to question myself for no reason or if I’m more in a grey area, like greygender and/or demigirl. Because I never questionned my gender. But when thinking about, the gender binary is just weird and I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel like “as a woman”. Maybe it’s like asexuality and aromanticism:…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “can a person also choose to be a gender that doesn’t align with the one they were assigned at birth?”

    November 8, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: So I know it is possible to choose to be queer and that doesn’t make a person’s queer identity any less legitimate, but can a person also choose to be a gender that doesn’t align with the one they were assigned at birth? I think I might be agender, but this isn’t something that “I’ve always known,” which I feel like is the typical narrative around trans folk. …well, first off, i should probably say that i do not think that it’s possible to choose to be queer. it’s certainly true that one chooses to identify as queer and that if one comes to identify as queer due to outside factors, that does not make that queer identity any less legitimate, sure. but even then being queer isn’t a choice. one doesn’t wake up one day and choose to be queer. and i’m pretty sure that’s not what…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “What do u do if u have identified as exclusively homosexual for a long time but then u fall for one person of the opposite sex?”

    October 29, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: What do u do if u have identified as exclusively homosexual for a long time but then u fall for one person of the opposite sex? Are u still homosexual or does that one exception make u something else? in my humble opinion that is entirely up to you. some people do continue to identify as homosexual but with an exception. some identify as bisexual but with an inclination towards a certain gender(s). others identify as something else entirely. it’s entirely up to the person in question. being a non-binary person myself, i feel obligated to mention that if you do eventually enter into a relationship with someone of a different gender (there is no such thing as “the opposite” sex or gender given that there are more than two), it would be worth chatting about it with your partner. especially when it comes to trans or non-binary people,…

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    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 41 – Am I Asexual? | Never Too Young To Know

    October 18, 2015 / No Comments

    too often young aces and young people who are questioning whether or not they’re on the ace spectrum get told that they’re “too young to know.” young aces have it hard, constantly having their feelings and identity invalidated not only by society but by their own friends and family members purely on the basis of their age. well, i’m here to tell you that society is wrong. young aces, you can never be too young to know who you are. this video is dedicated to you. it’s already Asexual Awareness Week here in Japan and i’m kicking it off with a video dedicated to young aces and young people who are questioning. i hope that you’ll find this video encouraging. i’ll be adding captions to this video within the next couple of days. edit: les sous-titres sont maintenant disponible en l’anglais et en français ! mille mercis à ZKL pour le…

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    Vesper H.

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    VICELAND – GAYCATION Episode 1: Japan

    March 3, 2016

    Re: Tokyo Ace Meetup

    April 5, 2015

    …annnd that’s a wrap!

    May 7, 2017
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Is it sexual attraction if I want to do sexual things with someone even if I don’t find their bodies arousing?”

    October 13, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Is it sexual attraction if I want to do sexual things with someone even if I don’t find their bodies arousing? I’ve been calling myself demi but I’m not sure now. When I fall for people I really want to see them enjoy themselves sexually but not necessarily be part of it like autochorissexualism. Although I do enjoy sex with someone I love. I also find them more aesthetically appealing the more I like them. I just don’t know if my attraction is truly sexual. Help me?   i can’t give you a straight yes or no answer to whether you’re experiencing sexual attraction or not since it’s impossible for me to really know what exactly you’re experiencing, plus i’m no expert on sexual attraction either way, but…. in my humble opinion, there is a difference between not feeling drawn to a person in a sexual way, but…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A not Q&A: “a person told me that I was “stealing other experiences” and “hurting other people that felt that way…”

    September 24, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I have used the label neutrois for a a time now, but now I am using demiguy. I add that people could consider me a trans man now. I announce this decision on a group in facebook and a person told me that I was “stealing other experiences” and “hurting other people that felt that way” I said I was experimenting with label until I can find the one that “stick” and they think is a whim.   not only is that person trying to invalidate your identity, they also seem to be trying to guilt trip you by suggesting that you are somehow hurting other people. gender/identity police and would-be gatekeepers are such asshats, i swear. i’m sorry that you’re dealing with a person (or even people) like this. for one, you are not “stealing” anything. no one owns nor has a monopoly on what it means to…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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