Q&A: “Is it sexual attraction if I want to do sexual things with someone even if I don’t find their bodies arousing?”
anonymous said:
Is it sexual attraction if I want to do sexual things with someone even if I don’t find their bodies arousing? I’ve been calling myself demi but I’m not sure now. When I fall for people I really want to see them enjoy themselves sexually but not necessarily be part of it like autochorissexualism. Although I do enjoy sex with someone I love. I also find them more aesthetically appealing the more I like them. I just don’t know if my attraction is truly sexual. Help me?
i can’t give you a straight yes or no answer to whether you’re experiencing sexual attraction or not since it’s impossible for me to really know what exactly you’re experiencing, plus i’m no expert on sexual attraction either way, but….
in my humble opinion, there is a difference between not feeling drawn to a person in a sexual way, but still having sex with them because you want to make them happy versus feeling drawn to a person in a sexual way that makes you want to have sex with someone for yourself as well as for them.
to me, the latter is sexual attraction because it involves being attracted or drawn to a person in a way that makes you desire sex with them for yourself as well as for your partner. the former isn’t sexual attraction, it’s not being drawn to your partner in a sexual way but still wanting to make your partner happy, being willing to have sex with them if that’s what will make them happy and your own happiness deriving from your partners’.
and it sounds like what you’ve described is more like the former than the latter?
autochorissexualism isn’t really indicative of anything, imho, nor is enjoying the physical sensation or intimacy of sex itself. i wouldn’t focus on these things at all.
ultimately, it’s up to you to decide whether what you feel is sexual attraction or not. regardless of what you decide, there’s no reason why you can’t continue identifying as demi if you feel like that word still describes you.
