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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • Uncategorized

    on semi-hiatus (12/21 – 01/02)

    December 22, 2015 / No Comments

    as of today today 12/22/2015 this blog is on a semi-hiatus until 01/02/2016. i’m currently sitting in an airport about to fly back to The States for the first time in 2 years. i’ll be staying with family for 9 days and, for those who don’t know, things have been pretty rough with my family recently and over the past 2 years… it will be my first time back “home” since being outted // coming out, so my nerves are on edge at the moment… i’m not really in the best headspace to be focusing on this Tumblr right now, sadly. i will post the text version of my latest vlog, as promised, once i get to America. i will also still be checking out my dashboard and liking posts for future reblogging, but unless something is urgent or time sensitive, i won’t be posting to this blog beyond that until…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    A.F.K.

    November 1, 2016

    …the state of this blog, basically.

    May 28, 2017

    temporary hiatus

    March 27, 2017
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Art[sy Fartsy]

    2015 in selfies

    December 17, 2015 / No Comments

    as 2015 comes to an end, it’s time for my annual photo dump. i usually post my annual photo dump elsewhere on the web (i have far too many blogs), but as i was tagged on here by @bi-gray, i figure i’ll post the selfie portion of it on this blog for once. i am going to ignore the rules of the Tumblr meme, though, and post more than 6 photos. i also won’t be tagging anyone because i suck at that. instead, i welcome everyone to take the chance to reflect upon the past year through selfies or photos in general. 🙂 for me, 2015 was a year of working on my left sleeve (which took 9 months to complete), parking myself in various cafes for hours, doodling random stuff, embracing smartphone photography à la Instagram and continuing to learn more about myself while learning to be proud of…

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 47 –  Re: “Transitioning” in Japan / Body Mods & Dysphoria || Tea & Word Vomit

    February 28, 2016

    Re: Yuri!!! On Ice & that annoying thing that anime & fandom does

    December 14, 2016

    …i just did something bad.

    September 9, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Black[ness],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    an example of intersectional acephobia if ever there was one…

    December 16, 2015 / No Comments

    “…seriously??” i thought to myself upon getting this notification via the YouTube app, in my email inbox and then on the YouTube homepage. i was just going to ignore it and move on, but after seeing the same notification for a third time i decided to look further… …i was prepared for things to get worse, but not this worse. the above is only a sample of the bullshit that can be found on this guy’s YouTube channel. dare i even subject myself to watching any of the videos, let alone the video in question? as always, curiosity killed the cat… ……..so this guy was pointed in my direction by someone who has obviously watched several of my videos (ie. by someone who cannot not know that i am non-binary) but who is still misgendering me and who for some reason felt the need to disclose personal information about me, my mental health…

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    Vesper H.

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    landscapes and fissures: navigating ace terminology in Japanese & English

    June 1, 2018

    QAC 66 – Split Attraction Model: Opting Out Of Romantic Orientations || Grayromantic | Asexual

    March 12, 2018

    …one of many examples of why navigating セクマイ / LGBTQIA spaces in Japan can be painful at times.

    October 7, 2016
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Black[ness]

    that feel when: Race / Culture

    December 14, 2015 / No Comments

    that feel when you’re with a group of friends and everyone’s bouncing off of each other talking about the difficult life shit that they deal with, then you chime in mentioning stuff that has to deal with race / culture and suddenly things get quiet… ….because, you know. everyone else in the group is white and doesn’t know what to say. opps. the race / culture thing. shouldn’t have gone there with you guys, huh?

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    Vesper H.

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    lmfao

    June 2, 2016

    this quote though

    November 7, 2015

    …i just did something bad.

    September 9, 2017
  • Mental [Un]health,  YouTube[r]

    QAC 43 – Coming to Terms w/ Depression & Anxiety | Mental Health

    December 7, 2015 / 1 Comment

    my journey to self-awareness and self-acceptance regarding the state of my own mental health has been a long one. 15-some-odd years i’ve been struggling with persistent depression and social anxiety and my journey is far from over. in this video i talk about how i went for over a decade without even knowing what “mental health” even was and how i’ve struggled going from that to where i am today, having finally accepted my mental health for what it is. i also briefly mention how the intersectionality of race, sexuality and gender factored into my struggle with mental wellbeing. for those who’d prefer to read most of what was said here, check out this Tumblr post: http://tmblr.co/Z04EMt1y9JmEq the video ended up being fairly long, but oh well. i’m glad i wrote most of it out and posted it to Tumblr first then sat on it for weeks. made talking about…

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 58 – Escaping Womanhood || Non-Binary | AFAB | Internalized Misogyny

    August 16, 2017

    QAC 57 – Depression and Anxiety, meet Antidepressants | Sertraline | Mental Health

    July 9, 2017

    willpower, sweat, and tears

    January 30, 2020
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Queer[ness]

    on today’s episode of #ConversationsWithMom….!

    November 28, 2015 / No Comments

    ….so i just had another one of those crazy conversations with my mom (and my sister who was eavesdropping and repeatedly butting in) about sexuality that stemmed from her finally watching a documentary that i’d sent her about LGBTQ people in the black church. i mean seriously, it lasted over an hour and was all over damn place, so i’m not going to try to rehash what was actually said, but the highlights were: mom is still of the mindset that sexual orientation is a choice. she refuses to distinguish between sexual attraction (i used the word “chemistry” with her because she seemed to get that) and sexual behavior/actions one decides to take (or not take). ugh. both mom and my sister think that “everyone is bisexual” because everyone could choose to have sex with someone of the same gender if they wanted to. bi erasure runs in my family, apparently. mom…

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    Vesper H.

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    sigh.

    July 23, 2017

    QAC 37 – Forced Out of the Closet: 1.5 Years Later (Non-Binary Asexual)

    June 16, 2015

    “You are freaking perfect how you are.”

    June 19, 2018
  • Mental [Un]health

    Persistent Depression & Anxiety: My Personal Journey

    November 15, 2015 / 1 Comment

    this post corresponds to a vlog that i will be posting have posted on my channel soon, but i figured i’d write out my feelings now and test the waters on Tumblr first. warning: talk of death and self-harm, along with lots of negativity in general. also, this post is extremely long. 15-some-odd years. that’s how long i guesstimate that i’ve been suffering from depression and anxiety. and yet i’ve only become aware of this over the course of the past 3~ years and have only come to accept it within the last year. like my sexuality and gender, mental health is something i’ve had to learn about and navigate entirely on my own. the journey has been rough

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    Vesper H.

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    re: ….so. selfies.

    February 15, 2015

    …so. selfies.

    February 15, 2015

    QAC 58 – Escaping Womanhood || Non-Binary | AFAB | Internalized Misogyny

    August 16, 2017
  • 海外に行ったもうひとつの理由は、「どこかに行けば、もっと住みやすい場所があるのではないか」という自分探しの旅でもあったのです。海外を旅していて周囲からは「いいね、楽しそうだね」と言われたけれど、実は旅をしていた時が一番苦しかったと思います。

    逃げたいと思って行ったはずの海外はもっと残酷で、世界中のどこに行っても「She? He?」と聞かれ続けたのです。南極に行った時、男性とルームシェアをするのか女性とルームシェアをするのかで揉めた時に「世界の果てに行っても、性別からは逃げられないんだ。世界中のどこに行っても、自分からは逃げられない。」と気づきました。

    エジプトの砂漠で絶景を見て感動をしていても、心のどこかで自分の身体に苦しんでいる自分がいて「こんなところに来てまでも僕は自分の身体が嫌なんだ」と確信が生まれ、手術を決意したのです。

    ずっと生きやすい場所はないかと探してきたけれど、これからは自分にとって都合のよい場所を探すのではなく、今いる場所を気持ちよく生きられるようにしていこうと思うようになりました。

    杉山文野 - laph FTM マガジン Vol. 10 
    [Random] Thoughts,  Gender[queer],  Japan[ese],  Queer[ness]

    this quote though

    November 7, 2015 / No Comments

    one more reason why i went abroad was because it was a trip for myself who thought ‘if i go somewhere there’ll be an easier place [for me] to live.’ while traveling those around me said ‘that seems fun, you must be enjoying yourself,’ but actually i think the time when i was travelling was the hardest. life abroad, where i thought i’d be able to get away [from it all] ended up being brutal and no matter where in the world i went i kept being asked ‘She? He?’ when i went to the South Pole i got into a dispute over whether to do a room share with males or females. then i realized ‘even if i go to the end of the world, i can’t escape being gendered. no matter where in the world i go, i can’t escape myself.’ even while being moved by the spectacular…

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    Vesper H.

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    QAC 37.5 – Life Update: Therapy / Mom Drama 3.0 / LGBT Meetups in Japan

    August 11, 2015

    …so. selfies.

    February 15, 2015

    …one of many examples of why navigating セクマイ / LGBTQIA spaces in Japan can be painful at times.

    October 7, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Art[sy Fartsy],  Gender[queer],  Mental [Un]health,  Queer[ness]

    one day

    October 29, 2015 / No Comments

    doodled a thing about wanting to be (more) active in the LGBTQIA community, but depression getting in the way zzz…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Ash Hardell’s “The ABC’s of LGBT+” in Japanese!

    November 25, 2017

    QAC 03 – Romantic Orientations & Other Types of Attraction

    May 24, 2013

    …so this happened at TRP today.

    May 7, 2016
  • Gender[queer],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 40 – The Gender Tag! | Maverique

    October 12, 2015 / No Comments

    me talking about my non-binary gender, maverique, as part of The Gender Tag, a project by Ashley Wylde. i also rant a bit about navigating my gender when even the non-binary community seems a bit too tied to the gender binary. – if you’re unfamiliar with The Gender Tag Project, find out more here: http://ashleywylde.com/videos/the-gender-tag-project/ – if you’re interested in learning more about maverique, check out: http://maveriques.tumblr.com/ ========= The Gender Tag Prompts ========= @00:35 1. How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that definition mean to you? @02:26 2. What pronouns honor you? @02:31 3. Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear. @04:13 4. Talk about your choices with body hair. How do you style your hair? Do you have facial hair? What do you choose to shave, or choose not to shave? @06:47 5. Talk about cosmetics. Do you choose to wear makeup? Do you paint your nails? What…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    …annnd that’s a wrap!

    May 7, 2017

    Documentary Explores The Reality Of Being Black And Gay In The Church

    November 14, 2015

    …one of many examples of why navigating セクマイ / LGBTQIA spaces in Japan can be painful at times.

    October 7, 2016
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VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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