opinion Archives | Page 6 of 16 | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “The term platonic attraction confuses me. Is it somehow different from what people usually think of as friendship?”

October 3, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: The term platonic attraction confuses me. Is it somehow different from what people usually think of as friendship? Does it mean someone you would want to be in a queerplatonic with? you’re far from the only one who’s confused by the term “platonic attraction”, anon. imho, such confusion and misunderstanding is partially to blame for why some people are quick to make light of terms like “panplatonic”, “aplatonic”, etc. such confusion and misunderstanding is also part of the reason why some people prefer to use other terms instead. the word “platonic” is defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary as referring to “a close relationship in which there is no romance or sex.” that said, historically the word and its usage used to be far more nuanced than it often is in modern society. there are literally an infinite number of ways in which a close relationship without romance (with or without sex) could manifest…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A

Q&A: “Any recommendations for meeting other trans/non-binary either Japanese or gaijin in Japan?”

September 20, 2016 / No Comments

nerdyglitterpatrol said: Hey Vesper. I’m a non-binary transman (fledgling danso) living in Japan. I came here very recently, at the end of July, so it’s been about 2 months now. I’ve been curious about finding other non-binary or trans individuals that I could be friends with to generally explore the lgbt and non-binary parts of Japanese life, culture, and society. Any recommendations for meeting or making friends with other trans/non-binary either Japanese or gaijin in Japan? Second part of my question. I’ve considered using mixi, but I have no idea how it works and while I’m decent at conversational Japanese, reading it is another story. I’m also hesitant to come out as non-binary trans to Japanese people because the concepts seem to be underdeveloped in Japan, Japanese people don’t seem to know what to do with non-binary/trans individuals. And it’s hard for me to come out to my cis friends…

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Vesper H.

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fuck your Oppression Olympics

September 15, 2016 / No Comments

if you want to base your personal identity as part of the LGBTQIA community on the oppression that you face, be my guest. however, do not for a second think that you get to base my or anyone else’s identity as part of the LGBTQIA community on the oppression that any of us face. as if you even fucking know the oppression that i or anyone else face(s). as if everything that i am or anyone else is in relation to the LGBTQIA community could even be boiled down to the oppression that any of us face. seriously. fuck you. as a black person who is also non-binary, queer and ace it is so incredibly mindfucking to me how some people on [Tumblr] and in general insist on trying to boil the connection that i or anyone else has with the LGBTQIA community down to oppression. fucking oppression. and not just oppression, presumed oppression. how the…

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Vesper H.

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Re: Re: “Why do you think some nb genders are becoming more well known than other nb genders?”

September 14, 2016 / No Comments

nextstepcake: queerascat: nextstepcake: queerascat: anonymous said: Hey Vesper! I have a question. I’ve noticed that within the nonbinary and larger trans and queer and so forth communities, some nonbinary genders seem to get more recognition than others. Some- especially maverique as I’ve noticed- are hardly known of by many other nonbinary and/or trans people, while others such are gaining recognition in trans, nb, and other circles much more quickly in comparison. Why do you think some nb genders are becoming more well known than other nb genders? hi anon, this is a really tough question. not just because of how subjective it is (i mean, what even counts as ‘recognition’, let alone what counts as ‘more’ or ‘more quickly’), but also because there are an infinite number of factors involved in why any non-binary gender gets any amount of recognition at all. imho, some non-binary genders are more commonly recognized…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “Hi again, I’m the anon who sent the ask about my friend saying ace/aro ppl are not LGBT…”

September 13, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi again, I’m the anon who sent the ask about my friend saying ace/aro ppl are not LGBT+. I guess the reason why I asked here is because I wanted to get a broader opinion other than just hers because I was taken aback when she said that. I’ve read up on it a bit more and I get that Ace/Aro can be cis and hetero but the ace/aro identity is still there…. so I literally don’t get how they can’t be part of LGBT+ according to her, so I’ll talk it out with her. Thanks for the resources, good stuff. (re: this post) based on my observations, often the people who focus their gatekeeping efforts on cisgender heteroromantic asexuals and / or cisgender heterosexual aromantics are people who view asexuality and / or aromanticism as a “blank slate” or lack of orientation. something to be overlooked in…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “[my friend] told me that Ace/Aro ppl are not inherently part of the LGBT+ community unless if they identify as LGBT…”

September 13, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi Vesper. I’m still learning about all the different genders and sexualities and spectrums and I was talking to my friend the other day who’s more knowledgable than I am, and she told me that Ace/Aro ppl are not inherently part of the LGBT+ community unless if they identify as LGBT. I’m a little confused by this. Are asexuality and aromanticism not a part of LGBT+? She basically implied that bc Ace/Aro ppl are not part of LGBT+ they do not face oppression. I’m sorry if this is confusing. hello, anon. what your friend told you is nothing but her opinion and it’s an opinion that many, myself included, disagree with. you may feel like your friend is more knowledgeable than you are about gender and sexuality, but she is by no means an expert on the oppression that others do or do not face and it’s rather…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’ve noticed some nonbinary genders seem to get more recognition than others…”

September 12, 2016 / 1 Comment

anonymous said: Hey Vesper! I have a question. I’ve noticed that within the nonbinary and larger trans and queer and so forth communities, some nonbinary genders seem to get more recognition than others. Some- especially maverique as I’ve noticed- are hardly known of by many other nonbinary and/or trans people, while others such are gaining recognition in trans, nb, and other circles much more quickly in comparison. Why do you think some nb genders are becoming more well known than other nb genders? hi anon, this is a really tough question. not just because of how subjective it is (i mean, what even counts as ‘recognition’, let alone what counts as ‘more’ or ‘more quickly’), but also because there are an infinite number of factors involved in why any non-binary gender gets any amount of recognition at all. imho, some non-binary genders are more commonly recognized at least in part…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I can’t explain why it’s so easy for me to say I’m trans and so hard to say I’m a lesbian…”

September 9, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hello. I’ve always been aware and proud, even as a kid, of my transgender identity. It was never hidden. But when it comes to sexuality it’s another story. Now that I’m older, I know that I have always been a lesbian but the less I can say is that I’m not very clear about it, I’m ambiguous when I speak about sexual orientation with people. Always fighting for lgbt rights but not saying clearly that I’m gay. I can’t explain why it’s so easy for me to say I’m trans and so hard to say I’m a lesbian hi, anon. i’m afraid that i don’t have any solid answers for you… i’m sure that a lot is involved in why you find it so hard to be as open about your sexuality as you are about being trans. to throw out but a few (among many) possible factors,…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Can I be heterosexual but biromantic in this case?”

September 9, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hii… Ummm I have a question. I’m a cis-woman. All my life, I identified as just being straight but for a couple of years now, I have found myself being attracted to several women who seem androgynous or more masculine presenting(?) Idk if this is a good description. Idk what to feel bc I’m not sure if I want to have sex with them but I am attracted to them? Can I be heterosexual but biromantic in this case? I’m so confused. I feel weird my feelings are all over the place. hello. 🙂 there are certainly people who identify as biromantic heterosexual whose experiences are similar to yours, anon! having said that, i think you’ll also find that people with experiences which are similar to yours identify in all kinds of ways because there is no One True Way™ for anyone to identify. for example, not everyone…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Are there any (commonly used?) gender neutral pronouns in Japanese like there are in English?”

September 7, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Are there any (commonly used?) gender neutral pronouns in Japanese like there are in English? I love your blog btw, your posts about Japanese are fascinating 🙂 (see also: this post) ah, thank you! although at this point i feel the need to throw out a huge disclaimer. [image reads: i’m totally a non-fluent, non-native speaker of Japanese and as such, i might not even know wtf i’m talking about! :’D but thank you for asking anyway! – Vesper] anyway, i’m inclined to say no, there are no gender neutral pronouns in Japanese like there are in English. in English, “gender neutral pronouns” generally refers to third-person pronouns used by one person to refer to another person. in Japanese, third-person pronouns aren’t used anywhere near as frequently as in English and it’s relatively easy to avoid gendering a person without using actual third-person pronouns at all, making gender neutral third-person…

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Vesper H.

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