non-binary Archives | Page 20 of 25 | Queer As Cat

[Random] Thoughts, Art[sy Fartsy], Japan[ese], Mental [Un]health, Queer[ness]

”Daily ? UGHs”

October 4, 2015 / No Comments

random doodle about random things that i hear my students say to each other or that they say to me on any given day that make me go UGH. “SHE’s 30 and not married! lol” “you don’t have kids??” “don’t worry, you still have time! (to get married, have kids)” “lol T-chan もしかしてお前オカマ？！ (don’t tell me you’re a tranny!)” “sensei’s on OUR team!” “but you’re a girl!” “キモイ！ホモかよ？！ (eww! what are you, a homo?!)” “only girls would understand, right *given name*!” and the saddest, most frustrating part is that most of this is said by kids under 10 years old…

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Vesper H.

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cautious optimism: yet another conversation with mom

September 27, 2015 / No Comments

for those who don’t know, i stopped talking to my mom back in July. the situation with my mom evolved over a long period of time and i’ve talked about it twice on YouTube. [ 1 + 2 ] well, today i want to say extremely tentatively that it seems like some progress has been made in terms of restarting our relationship. i’m trying really, really hard not to be overly optimistic because if i’m wrong and things fall apart again, it will hurt all the more if i let my guard down and allow myself to be happy now. (tl;dr below) in recent weeks prior to today mom has made attempts at contacting me with such conversation starters as “help me understand.”, “what is it you want me to say?” and “i’m taking your sister to the ER so i thought i’d message you (ie: please talk to me).” aside…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “a person told me that I was “stealing other experiences” and “hurting other people that felt that way…”

September 24, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I have used the label neutrois for a a time now, but now I am using demiguy. I add that people could consider me a trans man now. I announce this decision on a group in facebook and a person told me that I was “stealing other experiences” and “hurting other people that felt that way” I said I was experimenting with label until I can find the one that “stick” and they think is a whim. not only is that person trying to invalidate your identity, they also seem to be trying to guilt trip you by suggesting that you are somehow hurting other people. gender/identity police and would-be gatekeepers are such asshats, i swear. i’m sorry that you’re dealing with a person (or even people) like this. for one, you are not “stealing” anything. no one owns nor has a monopoly on what it means to…

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Vesper H.

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The Intersections of a Black, Non-binary Ace

September 16, 2015 / No Comments

i keep putting off talking about this topic because of feels and because i’m lazy stuff, but it’s 1:30am on a work night, i’ve just responded to an email from someone asking me about this topic and i’m too tired to censor myself or to overthink what people may think of my opinion. what a perfect opportunity to share my thoughts on Tumblr! let’s cut and paste.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Is it ok that I slowly accepted myself? Is it normal?”

August 30, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Is it ok that I slowly accepted myself? Like I though I was a cis girl, then when that got too uncomfortable I told myself “ok you’re a demigirl then” because I live in such a transphobic household with a strict binary and I enjoy dressing in a stereotypically female way. I recently told myself “okay. Think. She/her pronouns make you uncomfortable. Your name makes you uncomfortable. Are you really demigirl?” And I realized I’m nonbinary. Is that ok? To go through that? Is it normal? hello, anon. sorry for the slow reply. not only would i say that it’s okay to accept yourself slowly, i’d say that it’s actually very common for self-acceptance to be a slow process/journey. i honestly think that it is that way for most people. i know that for me personally learning to understand and accept both my sexuality and my gender…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’m very hesistant to identify as nonbinary because as a dmab individual…”

August 27, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I’m very hesistant to identify as nonbinary because as a dmab individual, I’ve been told that I’m a male my whole life even if I haven’t neccessarily felt that way. It’s one of those things that’s so ingrained in my being that I can’t imagine anyone seeing past it. I’m cis-passing and privileged to the point that calling myself non-binary, calling myself trans feels like hijacking and claiming a struggle, an oppression that I haven’t really faced. :/ I don’t want to be problematic. Any thoughts? hello, anon. 🙂 it sounds like your policing your own identity and i think that it is fairly safe to say that many maaaany people do this/feel this way when they first begin to question their gender identity. i just want to stress that if you feel that you are not the gender that you were assigned at birth, then you…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “I’ve heard from more than one pangender person that it excludes…?”

August 14, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Re: pangender, I’ve heard from more than one pangender person that it excludes genders that one cannot experience due to not being part of that culture? I know that pride-flags-for-us has a pangender mod if you would ever want to talk to someone about their identity? I don’t much understand it, myself, but Ive definitely seen more than once that pangender people are saying it doesn’t include culture-specific genders that they can’t experience. [re: this post] fair enough, i’ve also seen pangender people say that it excludes culture-specific genders which are not accessible to them. if that is the case for pangender people in general, then i guess a more accurate definition of pangender would be “a gender that encompasses all genders which the person in question has social/cultural access to”…..? however, that still doesn’t address my first point of confusion about there being an infinite number of…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “what do you think of pangender?”

August 14, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: hey sorry, I’m autistic and am having a hard time picking a side on this because both seem to make sense to me, so I’m asking around. what do you think of pangender? what do i think….? i think that what i think doesn’t matter at all, but… personally, i do not understand pangender. i do not understand how one could be all genders. for one, a person has no way of even knowing every gender that exists. imho, there are potentially as many genders as there are people on this planet, so there are genders that one will never even encounter in one’s lifetime. secondly, there are genders which are inherently or intrinsically connected to or rooted in a specific culture. a person who is outside of this culture has no right to even suggest that they are these genders, even if only in part. just…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “Quick question: is agender a part of non-binary?”

July 21, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hey! Quick question: is agender a part of non-binary? I always think so, but I never really hear them in the same context. Thanks, I know you’re usually rather busy! hi! any gender that does not fit into one of the two categories that society systematic splits gender into (ie. male / female) is commonly considered to be a non-binary gender. this includes agender as an agender person is neither male nor female. that said, how an agender person views themself in relation to the non-binary community at large is up to them. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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f’in birthday cards

June 23, 2015 / 1 Comment

*gets home to see a birthday card from mom in the mailbox* me: ….hm. *opens envelope to see a pink and gold card with butterflies and a big, fat “For You, Daughter” on the front* me: ……… *opens card to see a long, handwritten message* *reads long, seemingly heartfelt message half smiling until* card: ……..I may not have been all that you desired me to be, but I’ve tried my best. I love you! You will always be my daughter! Still My Child!!!” me: ………………………… *goes onto Google Hangouts* *types exasperatedly* me: you expect me to happily say thank you for a card in which you’ve repeatedly misgendered me AGAIN just because you wrote nice things?? i’m sorry but no. thank you for the birthday present, but i don’t need cards in which you ignore my gender. *hits send, closes Google Hangouts* *watches Orange is the New Black while eating dinner…

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Vesper H.

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