Q&A: “is there a reason that orientation is based solely on which gender(s) you’re attracted to?”
anonymous said: i’ve been wondering lately – is there a reason that orientation is based solely on which gender(s) you’re attracted to? why CAN’T an orientation define who you’re attracted to based on other factors? i get that would allow for things like sapiosexual and whatnot which is…yikes. but i almost feel like that’s PART of why ppl have like…a kneejerk reaction to “”mogai”” orientations maybe? idk i’m probably missing something abt it not all orientations are based solely on which gender(s) someone is attracted to. off the top of my head, some examples of orientations that aren’t solely based on that (if even based on that at all) are lith*, demi*, gray*, and a* but there are many more, of course. that said, i’m guessing you had “The Big 3″ orientations that society most commonly recognizes in mind when writing this ask. don’t quote me on this, but i feel…
Q&A: “It really annoys me when bi and trans allies state that acephobia is “just” recycled biphobia/transphobia/whatever…”
anonymous said: It really annoys me when bi and trans allies state that acephobia is “just” recycled biphobia/transphobia/whatever. I appreciate the attempted support, because, by all means, let’s compare notes (otherwise, what’s the point?). But it bothers me nonetheless when the hatred specifically aimed at us is described as nothing but misdirected run-off from other groups. I want acephobia to be taken seriously in its own right, not just as a form of accidental collateral damage. Your thoughts? i totally understand where you’re coming from and can relate to feeling miffed at times when seeing some people compare “ace discourse” to past “discourse” involving bi people, trans people, etc. sometimes it’s done well and other times it’s…. yeah. before i say anything else, i have to admit that i myself also compare the current rendition of “ace discourse” and general acephobia on Tumblr to past (and present) “bi discourse” and biphobia…
Q&A: “The term platonic attraction confuses me. Is it somehow different from what people usually think of as friendship?”
anonymous said: The term platonic attraction confuses me. Is it somehow different from what people usually think of as friendship? Does it mean someone you would want to be in a queerplatonic with? you’re far from the only one who’s confused by the term “platonic attraction”, anon. imho, such confusion and misunderstanding is partially to blame for why some people are quick to make light of terms like “panplatonic”, “aplatonic”, etc. such confusion and misunderstanding is also part of the reason why some people prefer to use other terms instead. the word “platonic” is defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary as referring to “a close relationship in which there is no romance or sex.” that said, historically the word and its usage used to be far more nuanced than it often is in modern society. there are literally an infinite number of ways in which a close relationship without romance (with or without sex) could manifest…
Q&A not Q&A: “i’m aromantic and i use alterous as an identity and a form of attraction because identifying as panplatonic…”
anonymous said: i’m aromantic and i use alterous as an identity and a form of attraction because identifying as panplatonic e.g. is looked down upon a Lot in the community. it’s the special-snowflake-mogai-tumblr-a-spec-uwu kind of stuff that non a-spec people demonize and it makes me feel icky to identify as such but i still want to express my identity? so i use alterous (re: this post) …ah, yes. the whole “everyone’s panplatonic because everyone makes friends regardless of gender! stop trying so hard to be oppressed you special snowflake lulz” that i’ve seen some ‘discoursers’ spout. usually the same people who also make fun of aplatonic as a term. i totally support you and anyone else who uses alterous for themself regardless of the reason for doing so, anon. at the same time, i can’t help but be annoyed / pissed off that some people’s ignorance has made another identity feel inaccessible…
fuck your Oppression Olympics
if you want to base your personal identity as part of the LGBTQIA community on the oppression that you face, be my guest. however, do not for a second think that you get to base my or anyone else’s identity as part of the LGBTQIA community on the oppression that any of us face. as if you even fucking know the oppression that i or anyone else face(s). as if everything that i am or anyone else is in relation to the LGBTQIA community could even be boiled down to the oppression that any of us face. seriously. fuck you. as a black person who is also non-binary, queer and ace it is so incredibly mindfucking to me how some people on [Tumblr] and in general insist on trying to boil the connection that i or anyone else has with the LGBTQIA community down to oppression. fucking oppression. and not just oppression, presumed oppression. how the…
Q&A not Q&A: “i’m nonbinary and i’m also aro/ace. i no longer WANT to be part of [the LGBT] community…”
anonymous said: okay sorry for dragging this in here, but. i’m nonbinary. and ppl have been saying that nb ppl ARE lgbt+. but here’s the thing: i’m also aro/ace. i no longer WANT to be part of that community, even if i “qualify” bc at the end of the day, they still don’t want me there. they may be accepting of my identity as nb, but that would mean ignoring my identity as aro/ace. if i’m gonna be accepted somewhere, i want to be accepted for all of me, not just part. just my 2 cents. hello anon, i feel you on this. i really do. as a non-binary, bi / pan ace i’ve also been faced with people wanting to selectively choose what part of my “counts” or is “valid reason” for me to be included in something. like you, i am of the stance that acceptance of me is an…
re: Q&A: “Are asexuality and aromanticism not a part of LGBT+?”
fortunefordisaster: queerascat: anonymous said: Hi Vesper. I’m still learning about all the different genders and sexualities and spectrums and I was talking to my friend the other day who’s more knowledgable than I am, and she told me that Ace/Aro ppl are not inherently part of the LGBT+ community unless if they identify as LGBT. I’m a little confused by this. Are asexuality and aromanticism not a part of LGBT+? She basically implied that bc Ace/Aro ppl are not part of LGBT+ they do not face oppression. I’m sorry if this is confusing. hello, anon. what your friend told you is nothing but her opinion and it’s an opinion that many, myself included, disagree with. you may feel like your friend is more knowledgeable than you are about gender and sexuality, but she is by no means an expert on the oppression that others do or do not face and…
Q&A not Q&A: “Hi again, I’m the anon who sent the ask about my friend saying ace/aro ppl are not LGBT…”
anonymous said: Hi again, I’m the anon who sent the ask about my friend saying ace/aro ppl are not LGBT+. I guess the reason why I asked here is because I wanted to get a broader opinion other than just hers because I was taken aback when she said that. I’ve read up on it a bit more and I get that Ace/Aro can be cis and hetero but the ace/aro identity is still there…. so I literally don’t get how they can’t be part of LGBT+ according to her, so I’ll talk it out with her. Thanks for the resources, good stuff. (re: this post) based on my observations, often the people who focus their gatekeeping efforts on cisgender heteroromantic asexuals and / or cisgender heterosexual aromantics are people who view asexuality and / or aromanticism as a “blank slate” or lack of orientation. something to be overlooked in…
Q&A: “[my friend] told me that Ace/Aro ppl are not inherently part of the LGBT+ community unless if they identify as LGBT…”
anonymous said: Hi Vesper. I’m still learning about all the different genders and sexualities and spectrums and I was talking to my friend the other day who’s more knowledgable than I am, and she told me that Ace/Aro ppl are not inherently part of the LGBT+ community unless if they identify as LGBT. I’m a little confused by this. Are asexuality and aromanticism not a part of LGBT+? She basically implied that bc Ace/Aro ppl are not part of LGBT+ they do not face oppression. I’m sorry if this is confusing. hello, anon. what your friend told you is nothing but her opinion and it’s an opinion that many, myself included, disagree with. you may feel like your friend is more knowledgeable than you are about gender and sexuality, but she is by no means an expert on the oppression that others do or do not face and it’s rather…
let’s talk: the trans/cis binary
note: this post is also a YouTube video, which was made in response to commentary made on another video about identifying as non-binary but not trans. you may want to watch the latter video before reading this. let’s talk about gender. let’s talk how you may or may not be aware of the false binary or dichotomy of male / female gender and how it erases non-binary people. then, let’s talk about how that isn’t the only binary that exists involving gender and identity. let’s talk about how even if a non-binary person manages to navigate the male / female gender binary within society and exist openly as a non-binary person, they’re then faced with yet another binary, another dichotomy from within the very communities that they should at least be able to feel safer in. let’s talk about how within the LGBTQIA there is / are: questionnaires, registration forms,…
