• QAC on YouTube
  • QAC on Tumblr
Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact
  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

Subscribe via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to the QAC blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. :)

Twitter

My Tweets

Instagram

No images found!
Try some other hashtag or username
  • Gender[queer],  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I was wondering when/how did you figure out you weren’t a woman?”

    January 5, 2017 / No Comments

    anonymous said: HI! I like your blog. I’m pretty new around here though. Still trying to understand gender stuff. I was wondering when/how did you figure out you weren’t a woman? hi, anon, and thanks. 🙂 i’m not sure that my own personal experience will be of any help to you, but… the short answer: i never felt like i was a girl / woman to begin with, but at the same time i knew that i wasn’t a boy / man. i defaulted to society’s gender assignment because of not knowing that i could do or be anything else. i told myself, “well, i’m not a boy / man, so i guess that makes me the tomboy that people say i am.” however, the second i became aware of the fact that a person could be neither a boy / man nor a girl / woman, that being genderqueer (at the…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    Documentary Explores The Reality Of Being Black And Gay In The Church

    November 14, 2015

    Snapchat rant #163

    July 2, 2016

    QAC 58 – Escaping Womanhood || Non-Binary | AFAB | Internalized Misogyny

    August 16, 2017
  • When The World Doesn’t Know You Exist: Coming Out As Non-Binary
    Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    Huffpost: “When The World Doesn’t Know You Exist: Coming Out As Non-Binary”

    October 30, 2016 / No Comments

    Life would be easier if it came with a guidebook. If it did, maybe it wouldn’t have taken me 27 years to realise that I didn’t actually have to subscribe to society’s assertion that everyone is either male or female. At the very least, ripping the book to shreds in a fit of rage would have made for great stress relief. Then again, had there been such a book I probably wouldn’t have grown up to be the person that I am today and I wouldn’t change that for the world. Hello, my name’s Vesper. I’m a 31 year old non-binary person who’s here today to tell you that gender is a much more beautifully complex thing than society would have you believe. That some people, such as myself, are neither male nor female but a different gender(s) entirely […] the blog post that i wrote for Ditch The Label…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    QAC 30 – Gender Expression / Presentation Blurb

    October 28, 2014

    QAC 37 – Forced Out of the Closet: 1.5 Years Later (Non-Binary Asexual)

    June 16, 2015

    ? QAC 77 – Legal Name Change || Non-Binary Gender Markers || “”Deadnames”“ || NEVADA

    July 13, 2019
  • "Gender is a Much More Beautifully Complex Thing Than Society Would Have You Believe"- Ditch the Label
    Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    “Gender is a Much More Beautifully Complex Thing Than Society Would Have You Believe”- Ditch the Label

    October 18, 2016 / No Comments

    Life would be easier if it came with a guidebook. If it did, maybe it wouldn’t have taken me 27 years to realize that I didn’t actually have to subscribe to society’s assertion that everyone is either male or female. At the very least, ripping the book to shreds in a fit of rage would have made for great stress relief. Then again, had there been such a book I probably wouldn’t have grown up to be the person that I am today and I wouldn’t change that for the world. Hello, my name’s Vesper. I’m a 31 year old non-binary person who’s here today to tell you that gender is a much more beautifully complex thing than society would have you believe. That some people, such as myself, are neither male nor female but a different gender(s) entirely. […] when @ditchthelabel, an international anti-bullying charity, approached me about writing…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    ? QAC 77 – Legal Name Change || Non-Binary Gender Markers || “”Deadnames”“ || NEVADA

    July 13, 2019

    Huffpost: “When The World Doesn’t Know You Exist: Coming Out As Non-Binary”

    October 30, 2016

    ….so i did a doodle.

    March 19, 2013
  • [A]sexuality,  Feedback,  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    Feedback: “Your video on gender envy/admiration really spoke to me.”

    October 14, 2016 /

    anonymous said: Your video on gender envy/admiration really spoke to me. When I figured out my aroace identity and my predominate aesthetic attraction to femme people I didn’t quite understand how I had convinced myself I was straight for so long. I feel like later after I realized I was masc non binary it explained more of my assumed attraction to masc people as being more along the lines of “i want to be like them”. ( re: this post ) ah, i can relate to the “convinced myself i was straight for so long” thing. i very much feel like gender envy / admiration (among other things) played a part in me falling for the whole “straight by default” (among other) shit that society fed me from Day 1 and that i likely would have broken free of that sooner had i recognized gender envy / admiration for what it…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    gender non-conformity sure does make for good entertainment for cis people, huh Japan?

    April 25, 2016

     “Things Asexual People Want You To Know” – BuzzFeed LGBT

    October 29, 2017

    comments on my “QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like” video.

    November 26, 2015
  • [A]sexuality,  [Random] Thoughts,  Art[sy Fartsy],  Gender[queer],  Queer[ness]

    one of many reasons why “QUEER” means so much to me.

    September 23, 2016 / 1 Comment

    [ CAPTION: a long, white image with “QUEER” faded in rainbow gradient in the background behind text written using various fonts in various sizes, colors and line-weight reading “sometimes identity is a journey. so far mine has gone something like this – queerascat.tumblr.com  HOLY SHIT, i’m BISEXU– wait, no, i’m PANSEXUAL! oh, but demisexuality? i’m DEMI-PANSEXUAL! but wait, what if i’m a LESBIAN??? no, WAIT! i’m NOT EVEN FEMALE!!! (no shit sherlock! plus you like who you like of any gender!) oh god, not even demi, TOTALLY ACE after all… shiiiiittt… panromantic ace! biromantic ace? PANro and BIro ACE! lolol wtf was i ever even thinking??? OF COURSE i’m a BI (sans ‘romantic’) & PAN (sans ‘romantic’) ACE. but grayro? quoiro? BI-PAN-GRAY-QUOIRO?? ugh, what the fuck ever. i’ll use whichever word(s) whenever it feels right to do so, but QUEER is the one word that has ALWAYS felt right. – Vesper 09/23/2016…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    gender non-conformity sure does make for good entertainment for cis people, huh Japan?

    April 25, 2016

    Ie Uru Onna Gyakushuu S2E3: “A home that is accepting of all [kinds of] love?!”

    January 24, 2019

    fuck your Oppression Olympics

    September 15, 2016
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I think I might be anything but straight, and it’s terrifying.”

    March 29, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I think I might be anything but straight, and it’s terrifying. I don’t know if I want to label myself but I feel like I have to for the people surrounding me. Let me not have a label if I don’t want to. Let me live. I don’t know where to go from now. anon, you most certainly don’t have to label yourself and there is absolutely nothing wrong with not being sure of your sexuality or anything else in life. even if others are obnoxious enough to try and co-pilot or even hijack it, the fact is that you are in control of your life and identity. you and only you. what you do from here is entirely up to you. hell, you don’t even have to do anything at all if you don’t want to. discovering something new about yourself can certainly be terrifying, especially at…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    allo by default: hypocrisy in “aspec” spaces

    February 25, 2017

    Asexy Aces at Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2014 (04/27/2014)

    May 7, 2014

    commentary: “Where Is The Asexual Representation in LGBTQ Pride?”

    June 10, 2017
  • [A]sexuality,  Q&A,  Queer[ness]

    Q&A: “I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m bisexual, or biromantic?”

    February 23, 2016 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I’m having a hard time lately. I have been trying online dating for awhile (tinder etc. guys only) and am finding I get bored really fast and have no interest to carry on conversations or meet up – maybe I just have no desire to date right now. Lately I’ve also been noticing that when I go out I tend to notice the girls in the room before the guys. I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m bisexual, or biromantic? How do you know the difference between that and just appreciating people who look nice? personally, if i’m experiencing aesthetic attraction (ie. in admiration of someone’s looks), it’s very similar to being in admiration of anything else. i love their sense of style or their overall look and that may trigger the desire to approach them and compliment them, but the admiration or attraction ends there if that’s…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    QAC 71 – Testosterone, Libido & Asexuality: Has HRT Changed My Sexuality? || The T Files #009

    July 9, 2018

    VICELAND – GAYCATION Episode 1: Japan

    March 3, 2016

    QAC 02 – The Road to Asexuality

    May 17, 2013
  • [A]sexuality,  Black[ness],  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 39 – Biromantic + Panromantic Pride! | Being Both Bi & Pan

    September 23, 2015 / No Comments

    happy Bi Visibility Day and Bi Awareness Week! 🙂 in this video i talk about what being biromantic and panromantic means to me, common questions i get about being bi and pan and why i identify as both rather than one or the other. i also talk about my journey to realizing my romantic orientation and how being black and being asexual played a part in that journey. ========= TIME POINTS ========= @00:00 – happy Bi Awareness Week & Bi Visibility Day! @00:39 – what is “biromantic” & “panromantic”? @01:20 – what being biro and panro means to me. @01:30 – FAQ: “but bi means two!!!“ @02:53 – FAQ: “but then how is bi different from pan???” @04:09 – FAQ: “but why do you identify as both bi & pan???“ @09:07 – coming out to myself at 27: race played a part in it. @10:56 – coming out to myself…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    on the discrepancy between “asexual” in English & Japanese and confusion regarding demisexuality.

    May 12, 2017

    VICELAND – GAYCATION Episode 1: Japan

    March 3, 2016

    QAC 72 – Outted To Religious Mom: 4 Years Later | HRT | Non-Binary Relationship || #ItGetsBetter?

    September 18, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Is it ok that I slowly accepted myself? Is it normal?”

    August 30, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Is it ok that I slowly accepted myself? Like I though I was a cis girl, then when that got too uncomfortable I told myself “ok you’re a demigirl then” because I live in such a transphobic household with a strict binary and I enjoy dressing in a stereotypically female way. I recently told myself “okay. Think. She/her pronouns make you uncomfortable. Your name makes you uncomfortable. Are you really demigirl?” And I realized I’m nonbinary. Is that ok? To go through that? Is it normal?   hello, anon. sorry for the slow reply. not only would i say that it’s okay to accept yourself slowly, i’d say that it’s actually very common for self-acceptance to be a slow process/journey. i honestly think that it is that way for most people. i know that for me personally learning to understand and accept both my sexuality and my gender…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “Is it okay to question your sexuality or romantic attraction after being certain your whole life?”

    July 9, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: Is it okay to question your sexuality or romantic attraction after being certain your whole life? I’ve reached a point where I’m not sure anymore and I’m very confused, both sexually and romantically.   not only is it okay, it’s actually not uncommon. many people don’t begin actively questioning their sexual orientation, romantic orientation or even gender identity until later in life. you’re not alone, anon. also, while being confused about these things can be very stressful, it’s also okay and even natural to be confused. you’re going through a process of self-discovery. confusion is simply a part of that process. hang in there, anon! and all the best.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
12

VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

Subscribe

Stay up-to-date with notifications of new posts by email.

Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

Categories

Time Machine

Tags

ace anon aromantic asexual asexuality asks bi feedback gender gender identity genderqueer identity intersectionality intracommunity issues i rant when i'm tired japan LGBT lgbt in Japan LGBTQIA life in japan maverique me non-binary nonbinary in Japan opinion personal problematic things QPOC queer questioning random thoughts sexuality stuff i made terminology this has been a Vesper original this is my life tired Vesper is tired trans transgender vlog Xジェンダー youtube セクマイ 外人の目から見た日本 日本

Categories

Instagram

No images found!
Try some other hashtag or username

Follow QAC

© Queer As Cat 2013 - 2026