asexuality Archives | Page 9 of 12 | Queer As Cat

Q&A

Q&A: “I think I’m asexual, but my friends are all like “You should at least have had sex once to know that for sure!””

October 30, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: So I think I’m asexual, but my friends are all like “You should at least have had sex once/masturbated once to know that for sure!” but the thing is I really think sex is gross. Like, I can’t even imagine having sex with someone and I already tried masturbating many times, but I never thought about it as something that gives you pleasure since I never had an orgasm or something like that. I just don’t know how to feel about all this or what to think. you do not need to have had sex or masturbated to know who you are. no one does. your friends are wrong. chances are that your friends knew who they were before they ever had sex or masturbated. they just knew. they obviously do not realize it, but they’re being hypocrites by holding you to a standard that they do not…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A

Q&A and Q&A: “I just saw a long and intricate post explaining why het ace/aro people shouldn’t be in the LGBT community…”

October 29, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I just saw a long and intricate post explaining why het ace/aro people shouldn’t be in the LGBT community as the space just isn’t for them. In the end they explained that het ace/aro’s should be allies for LGBT and that’s just something they should accept. I don’t know… I’m feeling pretty deflated now and I’ve given up all hope on ace/aro people ever being accepted in this community. I also find it insulting that it came from an ace person. I feel sad and I don’t want to be asexual anymore. oh, anon. i’m really sorry that you came across a post like that. may i recommend blocking that person and any other people whom you see similar posts from as soon as you see the post, before even reading the post? please do whatever it takes to protect yourself from hurtful posts like that, even if…

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Vesper H.

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[A]sexuality, Black[ness], Queer[ness]

Asexual POC Links Masterpost

October 22, 2015 / No Comments

in response to @queenieofaces‘ linkspam challenge, i thought i’d finally try to do something that i’d thought about doing for a while. that is, compile a list of resources in the form of links for/by/about asexual people of color (APOC). at present (10/23/2015) i’ve compiled nearly 100 links, but this list is still no where near comprehensive nor complete. parts of it still need to be organized better, which i hope to do in time. this post is the rebloggable version of this static page. going forward it will be that page that is updated rather than this post, so bookmark the page if you like. i’ll probably make smaller posts to make parts of this list more readably rebloggable in the coming days. please note that i in no way endorse nor agree with all of the opinions expressed in the linked content. i am linking the content regardless…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 41 – Am I Asexual? | Never Too Young To Know

October 18, 2015 / No Comments

too often young aces and young people who are questioning whether or not they’re on the ace spectrum get told that they’re “too young to know.” young aces have it hard, constantly having their feelings and identity invalidated not only by society but by their own friends and family members purely on the basis of their age. well, i’m here to tell you that society is wrong. young aces, you can never be too young to know who you are. this video is dedicated to you. it’s already Asexual Awareness Week here in Japan and i’m kicking it off with a video dedicated to young aces and young people who are questioning. i hope that you’ll find this video encouraging. i’ll be adding captions to this video within the next couple of days. edit: les sous-titres sont maintenant disponible en l’anglais et en français ! mille mercis à ZKL pour le…

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Vesper H.

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June 16, 2015
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sex indifference & aversion: not a matter of one or the other but both?

October 6, 2015 / No Comments

the following is a random blurb of thoughts after seeing this post. warning: negativity, sex talk || disclaimer: the negativity is aimed only at myself i’ve had issues supporting or even signal boosting anything that talks explicitly about “sex indifference” because of my own personal qualms with the term and how i see people describe what it means to be indifferent to sex. the way it’s described or defined varies greatly from person to person, but almost always there’s some sort of ‘but wouldn’t necessarily be opposed to the idea of having it’ tacked onto the rest and that bothers me. a lot. i used to casually refer to myself as sex indifferent, but now i can’t help but want to distance myself from the term as far as possible. but at the same time, i have no desire to take on the label of “sex averse” either. i think that at least…

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Vesper H.

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The Intersections of a Black, Non-binary Ace

September 16, 2015 / No Comments

i keep putting off talking about this topic because of feels and because i’m lazy stuff, but it’s 1:30am on a work night, i’ve just responded to an email from someone asking me about this topic and i’m too tired to censor myself or to overthink what people may think of my opinion. what a perfect opportunity to share my thoughts on Tumblr! let’s cut and paste.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A

Q&A: “I’ve just seen a lot of discussion on my dash about straight cis ace/aro’s not belonging in the LGBT+ space…”

August 27, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi Vesper! Hope you’re well. I’ve just seen a lot of discussion on my dash about straight cis ace/aro’s not belonging in the LGBT+ space because it’s “not for them” (I’m Ace but not straight) and I found it really disheartening how so many people (Who are part of LGBT) agreed that they didn’t belong w/o listening to actual ace/aro people. To me it sounds like they want to drop the “A” altogether. I was just wondering what your thoughts are? Thanks. hi anon! sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask. sadly, people saying crap like this is nothing new. it is incredibly disheartening how people within the LGBT (and ace) community(ies) are so quick to police others’ identities. you’d think that people who have had their own identities policed wouldn’t rehash the same shit onto others, but no. everyone wants to host an…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A

Q&A: “Is it possible to be Heteroromantic, bisexual and asexual all at the same time?”

August 10, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Is it possible to be Heteroromantic, bisexual and asexual all at the same time? it is entirely possible to be heteroromantic and __sexual at the same time. i am confused, though. what do you mean by bisexual and asexual? do you fluctuate between the two? or perhaps you experience sexual attraction towards some genders but then experience none towards other(s)? if it’s the latter, i’d personally (and this is just what i’d personally do, i am not telling you to do this) probably identify as heteroromantic bisexual rather than heteroromantic bisexual asexual. being bisexual does not mean that you experience sexual attraction indiscriminately. it’s common for there to be gender(s) that one isn’t sexually attracted to, so i wouldn’t feel a need to identify as asexual on top of bisexual. also, being asexual means that one doesn’t experience sexual attraction regardless of gender, which contradicts being bisexual.…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A

Q&A: “I was curious about how one goes about figuring out how one is asexual.”

July 21, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hello, Vesper. I was curious about how one goes about figuring out how one is asexual. I know I am gender neutral, or non-binary, but I have been questioning my sexuality. I know I have a high sex drive, but I’m unsure about my sexual attraction. I am sexually attracted to two people that I have know for almost a decade now, but those are the only two I’ve ever had a sexual attraction to. Also I appoligize about going anon, but I dont feel comfortable stating my sex drive under my profile. :o) hi. 🙂 sorry for not responding sooner. you’re probably already aware of this, but figuring out one’s sexuality is an extremely personal process/journey. there is no particulare way that one goes about doing it. that said, i think that the process/journey regarding discovering one’s sexuality is similar in some ways to how one…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A

Q&A: “I have repeatedly told my dad that I am asexual and he still thinks that i’m not…”

June 25, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I have repeatedly told my dad that I am asexual and he still thinks that i’m not. He says that I need to try being in a relationship before I can call myself asexual. I’m getting really tired of this and I just want him to understand. Do you have any information I can use to educate him on it? By the way I really want to thank you for making all of your videos about asexuality! Theyve really helped me! Thanks! 🙂 thank you! but it’s rather ironic that you’d ask me this while i myself am struggling with a parent who just doesn’t get it. that said, i’m sure there’s more hope for your dad than my #$faS@a mom. 😀 the thing is, understanding something like this is a two-way street. for your dad to truly understand who you are, he has to be willing…

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Vesper H.

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