Q&A and Q&A: “I just saw a long and intricate post explaining why het ace/aro people shouldn’t be in the LGBT community…”

anonymous said:

I just saw a long and intricate post explaining why het ace/aro people shouldn’t be in the LGBT community as the space just isn’t for them. In the end they explained that het ace/aro’s should be allies for LGBT and that’s just something they should accept. I don’t know… I’m feeling pretty deflated now and I’ve given up all hope on ace/aro people ever being accepted in this community. I also find it insulting that it came from an ace person. I feel sad and I don’t want to be asexual anymore.

oh, anon. i’m really sorry that you came across a post like that. may i recommend blocking that person and any other people whom you see similar posts from as soon as you see the post, before even reading the post? please do whatever it takes to protect yourself from hurtful posts like that, even if it means blocking lots of people.

having said that, please don’t give up your identity because of someone else’s gatekeeping and identity policing. it is very disheartening to see such a post from a fellow ace, but that ace isn’t voicing anything but their personal opinion; what they’ve said is not representative of the ace community. there are many aces AND non-aces who would disagree with that person, myself included.

surround yourself with people and blogs that support you. remember that others’ opinions do NOT dictate who you are and how you can identify. only you get to decide how you identify and what community you are a part of, no one else.

stay strong, anon. please don’t feel like it’s you vs that poster or others like them. you have support behind you, you’re not alone. <3