asexual Archives | Page 6 of 15 | Queer As Cat

Q&A

Q&A: “what do you think about asexuality and the LGBTQ community today?”

November 7, 2016 / No Comments

aro-probably-ace-ravenclaw said: Hi, Vesper! As my url says, I’m somewhere in the ace spectrum. I saw your video about asexuality and the LGBTQ community, and I need to ask: what do you think about it today? Something change? hi! thanks for watching the video and for asking. while i would change some things about that video if i were to redo it today, the gist of what i said in those 16 minutes of blabbering remains true today and can be summarized by what i said @3:58: my personal stance on [asexuals being part of the LGBTQ community] is that anyone who feels that they are queer, anyone who identifies with the word ‘queer’, anyone who identifies as being part of the LGBTQ community has every right to identify as such. and those who do not feel like they identify with such a community or that they want themselves associated…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I feel like im going to cry I told my mom im ace…”

October 27, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I feel like im going to cry I told my mom im ace by saying it casually sorta in a convo, she said no im not and said when I go back to the doc (my anxiety/psychologist doc) she would bring it up and “fix me” im frustrated and Sad sorry for venting? a million and one internet hugs, anon, if that’s something you’re okay with. i’m really sorry your mom responded in such a horrible way. she obviously doesn’t even understand what it is that you told her or how much trust you’d put in her in deciding to even tell her at all… i hope that your doctor is more educated on the subject of (a)sexuality than your mom is and realizes that a person’s sexuality is not something that can be or even need be “fixed.” either way, i sincerely hope that your mom starts putting…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 55 – Older Asexuals: Coming Out Later In Life | Questioning | Trauma

October 23, 2016 / No Comments

happy Asexual Awareness Week! last year for AAW i made this video in support of younger aces. this year i’m putting the focus on older aces, because i genuinely feel like the asexual community in general does not do enough to raise awareness of and support for aces who older than the majority of the more visible, active ace community at present. this video is first and foremost a positivity video that hopes to offer words of encouragement to older aces, but i also try to bring light to the unique things that older aces may face, including the desexualization of older people, the taboo of sexuality as an older person & how older aces may struggle with reconciling asexual identity with the identity(/ies) that they already had for years prior to discovering the word “asexual.” i also touch upon things that one may find relevant regardless of age, such…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I saw your video about confusing gender attraction with gender envy/admiration and as newly realised asexual it really hit a chord with me…”

October 15, 2016 /

anonymous said: I saw your video about confusing gender attraction with gender envy/admiration and as newly realised asexual it really hit a chord with me… I think this is what I’ve been experiencing a lot, seeing people and wanting to be like they are because they’re so free or happy with how they express themselves, and calling it attraction like my friends call it attraction when they see a guy and want to do him, when it’s not the same at all. ( re: this post ) yeah, attraction is really complicated because there’s so much involved… sometimes even gender envy / admiration can be a involved when one experiences attraction, but yeah. it’s also a thing in and of itself that may not be related to attraction at all. thanks for sharing your experiences, anon. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “Your video on gender envy/admiration really spoke to me.”

October 14, 2016 /

anonymous said: Your video on gender envy/admiration really spoke to me. When I figured out my aroace identity and my predominate aesthetic attraction to femme people I didn’t quite understand how I had convinced myself I was straight for so long. I feel like later after I realized I was masc non binary it explained more of my assumed attraction to masc people as being more along the lines of “i want to be like them”. ( re: this post ) ah, i can relate to the “convinced myself i was straight for so long” thing. i very much feel like gender envy / admiration (among other things) played a part in me falling for the whole “straight by default” (among other) shit that society fed me from Day 1 and that i likely would have broken free of that sooner had i recognized gender envy / admiration for what it…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’ve recently been questioning my romantic orientation…”

October 14, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hi, I’ve recently been questioning my romantic orientation. Mainly because I don’t really care what someone’s gender is… Like as long as you’re not a jerk I’m okay with you. For some reason I just don’t know if I’m actually Asexual Heteroromantic, like it’s typically the male gender that I want to have a romantic relationship with but I’ve felt that way about girls? What am I?! (Also I recently discovered your blog and I thinks it’s awesome.) hello and thanks for following. 🙂 i’m afraid that i can’t tell you what you are. after all, there’s no way that i could know more about you than you know about yourself. that said, if you feel like you might be attracted to people of more than one gender (or any gender) then perhaps you are…? trust in your own feelings, but also keep in mind that it’s perfectly fine…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “…i’ve been thinking i may not be a lesbian but asexual…”

October 14, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: For a while i considered myself a lesbian and now im “talking” to a girl and i’ve been thinking i may not be a lesbian but asexual. I mean there was a time where i didn’t like anyone romantically and sexually. Now this realization is making things really confusing for me and I mean I want to try a relationship with the girl Im talking to but things are just so confusing. Lmao sorry for bothering you about my problems but idk what to do?? you’re not bothering me, anon. no worries. questioning can be really tough in general, but even more so when you’re in the middle of wanting to try having a relationship with someone. that said, questioning doesn’t have to stop you from going ahead and trying a to have a relationship if you don’t want it to. some may prefer to hold off on…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “your video on attraction & gender envy was rly interesting!”

October 13, 2016 /

anonymous said: your video on attraction & gender envy was rly interesting! Im also ace and nb and i think about it a lot about lately. I struggle to separate my looks-based/aesthetic attraction for masc ppl from dysphoria based envy and I thought it was just me! ( re: this post ) with 30+ people and counting on YouTube and many more elsewhere commenting that they’ve also had similar experiences, it looks like neither of us was as alone in our experiences as we’d thought. 🙂

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “If I’m ace/aro can I love aesthetically how any gender looks but…”

October 13, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: If I’m ace/aro can I love aesthetically how any gender looks but not want a relationship with anyone but girls you most certainly can, anon. aesthetic love does not dictate who you may want to have a relationship with. the only thing that decides that is literally who you want to have a relationship with.

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I have a friend who talks about how much harder they’re life is then asexuals bc they’re bisexual.”

October 12, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hey vesper i need some advice, whenever I bring up that I’m ace I have a friend who talks about how much harder they’re life is then asexuals bc they’re bisexual. They say asexuals are only oppressed bc they can’t have a significant other bc they don’t want sex. I’ve told them I’m insecure in being ace & they tell me I shouldn’t be bc nobody cares about asexuals. I feel like a horrible person & that it was inconsiderate & ignorant to come out as ace idk what to do or even how to feel anymore hi anon, your “friend” is the one who’s ignorant and inconsiderate, anon, not you. it’s ridiculous that they feel justified in casting aside your feelings at all, let alone based on assumptions about your life as if they even know anything about it. not only that, they’re also ignoring the fact…

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Vesper H.

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