ace Archives | Page 9 of 11 | Queer As Cat

Q&A

Q&A: “I was curious about how one goes about figuring out how one is asexual.”

July 21, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: Hello, Vesper. I was curious about how one goes about figuring out how one is asexual. I know I am gender neutral, or non-binary, but I have been questioning my sexuality. I know I have a high sex drive, but I’m unsure about my sexual attraction. I am sexually attracted to two people that I have know for almost a decade now, but those are the only two I’ve ever had a sexual attraction to. Also I appoligize about going anon, but I dont feel comfortable stating my sex drive under my profile. :o) hi. 🙂 sorry for not responding sooner. you’re probably already aware of this, but figuring out one’s sexuality is an extremely personal process/journey. there is no particulare way that one goes about doing it. that said, i think that the process/journey regarding discovering one’s sexuality is similar in some ways to how one…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
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Q&A

Q&A: “I have repeatedly told my dad that I am asexual and he still thinks that i’m not…”

June 25, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I have repeatedly told my dad that I am asexual and he still thinks that i’m not. He says that I need to try being in a relationship before I can call myself asexual. I’m getting really tired of this and I just want him to understand. Do you have any information I can use to educate him on it? By the way I really want to thank you for making all of your videos about asexuality! Theyve really helped me! Thanks! 🙂 thank you! but it’s rather ironic that you’d ask me this while i myself am struggling with a parent who just doesn’t get it. that said, i’m sure there’s more hope for your dad than my #$faS@a mom. 😀 the thing is, understanding something like this is a two-way street. for your dad to truly understand who you are, he has to be willing…

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Vesper H.

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“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018

Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
[A]sexuality, Gender[queer], Queer[ness], YouTube[r]

QAC 37 – Forced Out of the Closet: 1.5 Years Later (Non-Binary Asexual)

June 16, 2015 / No Comments

it’s been nearly a year and a half since i was outted to my ultra religious mom as a non-binary, panromantic / biromantic asexual. things have been, and continue to be, rough between us at times… that said, there has been progress. it took well over a year, but she’s now making an effort to come to terms with part of my sexuality….? meanwhile continuing to completely reject my gender. thus far, the road to acceptance and understanding has been long and hard; sadly, as of now, that road still has no end in sight. ——— LINKS ——— QAC 13 – Staying In The Closet → https://youtu.be/NDyEAyNxoEg QAC 23 – Being Forced Out of the Closet → https://youtu.be/HStZgJ4Ewm8 snippets of conversations with my mom: → http://queerascat.tumblr.com/tagged/conversations-with-mom —————————–

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Vesper H.

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QAC 73 – 【Asexuality In JAPAN】An Interview ♠【アセクシャルって？】日本ｘ英語圏 || #AAW2018
October 26, 2018

…so this happened at TRP today.
May 7, 2016

literal “social distancing” from the ace community
April 1, 2020
Q&A

Q&A: “How can I tell the difference between libido and sexual attraction?”

June 1, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: So, I have identified as a panromantic asexual for a while now, but I just entered my first romantic relationship and am beginning to question this. We make out sometimes, and I get aroused. How can I tell the difference between libido and sexual attraction? He’s the only one I would want to have sex with, but is this sexual attraction or just loyalty to my partner? hello, anon! sorry for taking so long to respond to your ask! i can’t tell you whether what you’re experiencing is one thing or another. ultimately, only you can decide that. i can say, however, that becoming aroused can and does happen to anyone, regardless of what their sexual orientation is. it’s simply a physiological reaction to stimuli which has no bearing on one’s sexual orientation. also, i personally do not consider arousal to be the same thing as libido/sex…

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Vesper H.

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“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018

Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
[A]sexuality, Gender[queer], Japan[ese], Queer[ness]

Ace & Non-binary Pride @Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2015 (04/26/15)

May 10, 2015 / No Comments

like last year, a handful of us gaijin aces went to Tokyo Rainbow Pride and walked in the parade with Stonewall Japan. this year, i personally decided to raise non-binary / Xジェンダー awareness at the same time. 🙂 also like last year, we started out small with there being only three of us, then we ran into an old friend from last year, becoming four. THEN while lounging around someone on Tumblr messaged me that they were there and had seen us walking in the parade, so we meetup with that person and became five! w00t! we even ran into the-shynamites again this year, but i wasn’t able to get a photo of their awesome ace pride sign. ;( i even ran into the author of the forthcoming, crowd-funded book about Xジェンダー / non-binary people in Japan!! D; the asshat that we ran into later aside, we had a great…

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Vesper H.

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AskAPan Week 07 – Family responses to the LGBTQ community
July 5, 2013

botched allyship & language barriers #TRP2017
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Re: “”Visibility””
September 18, 2017
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QAC 36 – What Acephobia & Asexual Erasure Looks Like

April 27, 2015 / No Comments

today some ace friends and i went to Tokyo Rainbow Pride where we were approached by a smug as fuck acephobic asshat. this video is dedicated to those who do not believe that acephobia and/or asexual erasure are a thing and to those who struggle dealing with people belittling the shit you deal with. let there be video of acephobia & asexual erasure in action for the world to see. content warning: misogyny, asexual erasure, acephobia, offensive-level ignorance, etc etc ※ what is acephobia? fear, prejudice or discrimination against people within the asexual (ace) spectrum; the belief that asexuality is “unnatural”, “wrong” and/or a health issue that needs “correcting”. ※ what is asexual erasure? denying the existence of asexuality, asexuals and/or other sexualities and people within the asexual spectrum; the lack of representation and misrepresentation of asexual spectrum people in the media. edit: later we came across Mr. Asshat again interviewing people…

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Vesper H.

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Japanese gender / queer theory, anyone?
May 22, 2017

?Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2017: Parade & Ace Meetup
April 29, 2017

identity politics leave little room for agency; a thought.
July 21, 2017
Q&A

Q&A: “what is romantic attraction vs sensual?”

April 14, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: i haven’t heard of sensual attraction until recently but i’m having a hard time separating it from romantic attraction? like what //is// romantic attraction vs sensual? sorry if this is a really basic question! not a “really basic question” at all! honestly, the world at large doesn’t even distinguish between different types of attraction, they’re all considered to be part of the same thing. it’s the asexual and aromantic communities that started dissecting attraction into different categories and it can be very confusing at times. within ace and aro communities, attraction is commonly broken up into 5 categories: platonic, aesthetic, sensual, romantic and sexual attraction. see these posts to find out the basics on all of them: [ 1 ] + [ 2 ]

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
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Q&A

Q&A: “to be sexually attracted to someone, do you necessarily have to fantasize about…?”

April 13, 2015 / No Comments

anonymous said: I’m sorry if this is dumb, but I’ve always been confused about the difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction. To be sexually attracted to someone, do you necessarily have to fantasize about partaking in sexual acts with that person? I’m wondering because I have never been attracted to sex or anything related to sex. I don’t think I’ll ever have sexual fantasies about anyone, and my disinterest in sex has nothing to do with my religious or moral beliefs. Is this normal? anon, i feel like you’re asking the wrong person this question since i’ve never even experienced sexual attraction myself lol….. based on my understanding of sexual attraction, what you’ve described (fantasizing about partaking in sexual acts with someone) may be a part of sexual attraction for some people, yes. however, someone can fantasize about partaking in sexual acts without actually wanting to partake in such…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016

“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
April 5, 2018
[A]sexuality, Black[ness], Gender[queer], Queer[ness], YouTube[r]

QAC 35 – Body Image: An Intersection of Black, Non-binary & Asexual Identity

March 16, 2015 / No Comments

trigger warning: body negativity, gender dysphoria, hints of self-harm, cursing a rant about my own negative body image and how that body image intersects with my identity as a black non-binary asexual. i touch upon a lot in this long video, so for your ease of viewing: ====== Time Points ======== @00:00 – introduction @00:57 – dismissal of my body issues @02:18 – height and dysphoria @05:08 – having lordosis and being misgendered @09:53 – hypersexualization of my butt as a black non-binary ace @12:44 – hypersexualization of my lips as a black non-binary ace @13:27 – self-destructive habits: lip picking @15:33 – hating my natural hair @19:00 – body modification and body positivity @21:16 – i’d love to hear from you ======================== “awkward but necessary” pretty much sums up this video.

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Vesper H.

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“love languages”?? communication tool.
May 1, 2019

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QAC 13 – Staying In The Closet
August 11, 2013
Black[ness], Japan[ese], YouTube[r]

QAC 32 – Get To Know Me! (Self-Intro + Q&A)

December 1, 2014 / No Comments

it’s been over a year since i made this channel about being non-binary, queer, panromantic / biromantic asexual and a person of color, but there’s more to me than just my gender, sexuality and ethnicity. mind getting to know me a little? i’ve even added timestamps to make doing so easier. 😉 ======= Navigation ======== @00:00 – Channel introduction @00:39 – About me ========= Q & A ========= @03:00 – What are your favorite books/literature/authors? @04:02 – Who’re your top 3 musical artists? @04:26 – What are your favorite anime series or manga? @05:13 – Do you/did you play any instruments? @6:16 – What inspires you? @7:59 – Any dreams for the future? @08:50 – Do you consider yourself African American or just American or what? @10:46 – Is Japan expensive? @11:16 – What’s your other YouTube channel? @11:54 – What’s been the most difficult thing about living in Japan?…

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Vesper H.

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