ace tumblr Archives | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Mental [Un]health, Queer[ness]

Burnt Out & Neurotic: The Toll of Blogging While Ace and Mentally Ill

December 26, 2018 / 3 Comments

Over the course of the past few years or so, I've had no choice but to come face-to-face with the fact that I'm not exactly the spitting image of mental health. That, in fact, I never have been, having struggled with persistent depression and social anxiety for years, whether I was conscious of that fact or not. As such, debilitating depression/anxiety isn't new to me. Simultaneous burnout and mental breakdown on account of blogging was, however.

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Vesper H.

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Re: Q&A not Q&A: “I’m quite surprised with the commentary about color-swapped flags being problematic…”

August 9, 2017 / No Comments

qpraroaceandmiscellaneous: queerascat: anonymous said: “I’m quite surprised with the commentary about color-swapped flags being problematic, since nowadays I don’t see any complaints directed at them. I’ve always heard the aro flag that just replaced purple with green was “made by someone problematic”, so I’m glad you brought that post to light (there’s also the issue of that being the most popular androsexual flag), but… I don’t think you need to worry much :p (re: this post) …honestly, what surprises (and embarrasses) me is the fact that i even forgot about how problematic those flag designs are because, reflecting back on it now, i remember color-swapped flags being part of a larger issue that eventually became at least somewhat prominently discussed on Tumblr? that larger issue being the nature of the relationship between the asexual and aromantic communities, a topic that i hardly see discussed at all these days. which is…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A not Q&A: “just wanted to comment towards your post about the fracturing of the asexual community…”

February 26, 2017 / No Comments

anonymous said: hey i just wanted to comment towards your post about the fracturing of the asexual community. i think that has to do with the history the ace community has on tumblr. two, three years ago, the argument wasn’t whether aces belonged to the community; the argument was ‘you aren’t asexual if you aren’t sex-repulsed’, which was debated and disputed for a very long time until terms like grey-, demi-, that sort of stuff started to come out and become more popular and accepted. the discourse used to be ‘a is for asexual, not allies’ and about being sex repulsed. and i think that the struggle to find validity in /their own community/ has caused a lot of splintering that has affected how people treat the ace community today. NOT to say they are to blame for how they’re treated, by any means, i don’t want it to come…

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Vesper H.

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April 5, 2018

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Q&A not Q&A: “i’m nonbinary and i’m also aro/ace. i no longer WANT to be part of [the LGBT] community…”

September 15, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: okay sorry for dragging this in here, but. i’m nonbinary. and ppl have been saying that nb ppl ARE lgbt+. but here’s the thing: i’m also aro/ace. i no longer WANT to be part of that community, even if i “qualify” bc at the end of the day, they still don’t want me there. they may be accepting of my identity as nb, but that would mean ignoring my identity as aro/ace. if i’m gonna be accepted somewhere, i want to be accepted for all of me, not just part. just my 2 cents. hello anon, i feel you on this. i really do. as a non-binary, bi / pan ace i’ve also been faced with people wanting to selectively choose what part of my “counts” or is “valid reason” for me to be included in something. like you, i am of the stance that acceptance of me is an…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A not Q&A: “Have you seen that post going around saying the being asexual is a modifier not an orientation?”

June 18, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Have you seen that post going around saying the being asexual is a modifier not an orientation? It also seemed to imply that asexuality is a choice? I’m really tired of misinformation about asexuals being spread around. …mmm, no i have not seen the post in question, but a quick search has brought up this post (warning: offensive ignorance is offensive) that i’m guessing might be the one you’re referring to…? was posted about 20hrs ago (i received this ask 4hrs ago) and yet has somehow already amassed 200 notes without a single critic of its content in sight. the spreading of misinformation (maliciously or not) is annoying indeed. that said, i just so happen to be Apathetic As Hell about what others think and am very confident and comfortable in my identity as an asexual, so it’s pretty easy for me to not give a damn about…

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Vesper H.

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#LeaveElsaAlone

May 11, 2016 / 1 Comment

quoted from a Tumblr post: Okay so I’m not against #GiveElsaAGirlfriend or anything, but I identify myself as an asexual person and honestly I would be really happy if there could be a princess who doesn’t need a prince or a princess or anyone. It would be really cool if there can be just one Disney character that does not need that kind of love, because being asexual is not easy to explain and much less to understand for others and yeah I think that #LeaveElsaAlone is much more accurate. please note: the following isn’t directed specifically at the OP so much as it’s directed at anyone & everyone who thinks that #LeaveElsaAlone is a good idea. could aces please, please, please not do that really shitty thing where you piggyback off of another community’s hashtag advocacy?? actually, this isn’t even piggybacking, really. i consider #AllLivesMatters to be piggybacking off…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “I’ve seen some people claim the ace community is racist, transphobic, and that hetero-romantic and aromantic aces don’t belong in the LGBTQ+ community…”

March 20, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: So, I’ve seen some people claim the ace community is racist, transphobic, and that hetero-romantic and aromantic aces don’t belong in the LGBTQ+ community. I was wondering, do you think there’s racism in the ace community? I’ve never noticed any, but then I’m white, so that’s not rlly my call. I think maybe it has to do with the use of the term allosexual, which has been said to have racist and transphobic roots. What’s your opinion on “allosexual”, and do you think “het aces” shld be included in the LGBTQ+ community? there are racist (and transphobic) people everywhere and the ace community is no exception to that. however, there being racist (and transphobic) people in the ace community doesn’t make the entire community racist (or transphobic). that would be an overgeneralization. people have made the claim that the term allosexual is racist and/or transphobic, but i…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “You don’t think allosexual privilege exists?”

January 15, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: So from what I gathered in your latest responses. You don’t think allosexual privilege exists, but do you think allosexism exists? A lot of what Amber says about the word allosexual also applies to monosexual like grouping people with their oppressors, some gay people being okay w/ the word but not everyone being fine w/ it, ignoring the fact that a lot of gay people hate the word monosexual, “monosexual privilege.” There r so many posts like the 1 blvkandasexual posted except about monosexuals & bisexuals. Would u consider posts like that homobphobic? Amber’s response seems to argue against the use of the word allosexual on some level, but I thought you were okay with the word? That entire thread and everyone’s responses to it (including yours tbh) makes it seem like the word allosexual is inherently homophobic, biphobic, panphobic, etc. like what??? Can you clarify your stance.…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “can i use asexual as an umbrella term?”

January 4, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: can i use asexual as an umbrella term? i identify with more than one (a)sexualites (cupio/demi/grey) so i think it’s a lot easier to just say im asexual sure, go with whatever feels comfortable and right for you, be it asexual, ace, ace spectrum, etc. some will disagree with me on this, but people use asexual as an umbrella word to mean various things all the time. i’m not an authority on the word asexual and i am not about to police others’ usage of the word.

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Vesper H.

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Asexual POC Links Masterpost

October 22, 2015 / No Comments

in response to @queenieofaces‘ linkspam challenge, i thought i’d finally try to do something that i’d thought about doing for a while. that is, compile a list of resources in the form of links for/by/about asexual people of color (APOC). at present (10/23/2015) i’ve compiled nearly 100 links, but this list is still no where near comprehensive nor complete. parts of it still need to be organized better, which i hope to do in time. this post is the rebloggable version of this static page. going forward it will be that page that is updated rather than this post, so bookmark the page if you like. i’ll probably make smaller posts to make parts of this list more readably rebloggable in the coming days. please note that i in no way endorse nor agree with all of the opinions expressed in the linked content. i am linking the content regardless…

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Vesper H.

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