2016 | Page 25 of 30 | Queer As Cat

[A]sexuality, Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A: “Is it possible to become asexual as you get older?”

March 28, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: Is it possible to become asexual as you get older? Like when I started puberty my hormones were through the roof so I’d masturbate but I don’t think I’ve ever really liked sex? It just doesn’t seem necessary or pleasing to me :s hi, anon. 🙂 a person’s sexuality can certainly change overtime. it’s worth noting, though, that horniness (or lack there of) has more to do with sex drive or libido than it has to do with one’s sexual orientation. anyone of any sexual orientation can have a low libido just as anyone of any sexual orientation can have a high libido, even an asexual person. in other words, your sexuality very well may have changed, but you could also be an asexual who just so happens to have (or have had) a libido and masturbates (or masturbated). even one’s libido can change without one’s sexual orientation…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 48 – Non-Binary Gender Norms & (A)sexuality: Yeah, No.
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QAC 48 – Non-Binary Gender Norms & (A)sexuality: Yeah, No.

March 27, 2016 / 1 Comment

for many the intersection of gender identity, gender norms and sexuality is complicated, to say the least. so what happens when the world doesn’t even know that your gender identity exists? when there are literally few, if any, gender norm associated with your gender? when your sexuality itself is as invisible as your gender identity and non-existent gender norms? welcome to Vesperland, where even the most complicated of things somehow manages to become even more complicated. this video is a submission for the March 2016 Carnival of Aces based on the theme “Gender Norms and Asexuality.” to find out more, check out The Asexual Agenda’s Carnival of Aces Masterpost. …has anyone ever submitted a video for the Carnival of Aces? hmm… this video will be accompanied by a text version that i’ll post tomorrow, but please don’t let that stop you from watching the video. i’ll add captions to the…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 41 – Am I Asexual? | Never Too Young To Know
October 18, 2015

「私はゲイ」自分の言葉で、自分を語る / “I’m Gay” – Talking About Myself By Myself: Gay men talk about their own identity.
May 6, 2016

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Q&A not Q&A: “so i came out as asexual to my friends about half a year ago but…”

March 27, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: so i came out as asexual to my friends about half a year ago. but in the past few months i’ve been realizing that i may not be asexual. i don’t know what i am and i don’t want to label it just yet. i also want to tell my friends, but i feel like they’re getting tired of me saying different things (i came out as bi, then ace & trans, then this) and that there’s no point in me saying anything if i don’t even know what i am. i want to say something, but i don’t even know if i should. hi, anon. if you want to say something to your friends, then i think you should? there’s absolutely nothing wrong with just flat out saying that you’re not sure how you feel and/or that you’re questioning. that you’re continuously learning and discovering things about…

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Vesper H.

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…one of many examples of why navigating セクマイ / LGBTQIA spaces in Japan can be painful at times.
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February 27, 2019
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Q&A not Q&A: “I’m 13 and I’m pretty sure I’m ace and I want to come out to someone as ace but…”

March 27, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I’m 13 and I’m pretty sure I’m ace and I want to come out to someone as ace but she’s ace and in afraid she will think I’m just doing this to “be like” her. I’m really not this is how I feel and this is who I am. hi, anon. 🙂 hopefully your friend will be supportive. i mean, you coming out to her as ace is cause to be happy! happy for you, for having discovered something so awesome about yourself, and happy for her, for having a friend who’s also ace! that said, if your friend does accuse you of wanting to be like her, it may be worth pointing out that being ace isn’t any more of a choice for you than it is her. if by chance her being ace somehow helped you to discover that you’re ace too, you could perhaps mention…

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Vesper H.

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Q&A: “people always talk about realizing they’re queer and having known something was ‘different’ in them…. and i never really felt like that…”

March 23, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: hi, ive been thinking lately, people always talk about realizing they’re queer and having known something was ‘different’ in them all along but only understanding it then. and i never really felt like that, not in a way i realize now. and maybe it was the way i was introduced to lgbt+ stuff (im really forever grateful for having someone to do that cause it really got me out of a toxic homophobic mindset earlier on) but it makes me wonder if im really trans, bc like being trans makes me really happy, but it was never really a click for me more of a slow, ‘hey! Maybe this is me?’, idk i feel like i probably could’ve gone on my whole life being a ‘woman’ if i didn’t know about trans/nonbinary people :/ its really upsetting cause now im starting to think, what if im just doing…

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Vesper H.

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QAC 66 – Split Attraction Model: Opting Out Of Romantic Orientations || Grayromantic | Asexual
March 12, 2018

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July 6, 2017
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Q&A not Q&A: “They don’t face opression at all is what I believe.”

March 23, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: They don’t face opression at all is what I believe. I don’t think it’s about ((enough)) I think it’s about being opressed at all and they aren’t. They face a stigma and I’ll call that shit out when I see it but, I don’t think it’s opression at all? Idk just my opinion. i understand that that’s your opinion, but i’m not sure what you want me to say? like i’ve said before, imho whether heteroromantic aces face oppression or not is beside the point. my stance on whether they have the right to identify as a part of the LGBTQIA+ community remains a firm “yes” because like i said, oppression isn’t the determining factor for me. if you’re looking for me to take a stance on whether heteroromantic aces face oppression at all or whether what they face is stigma, i’m afraid i’m not going to give you…

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Vesper H.

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…one of many examples of why navigating セクマイ / LGBTQIA spaces in Japan can be painful at times.
October 7, 2016

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March 24, 2017

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May 17, 2016
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Q&A: “the thing about defining the community based on oppression is that…”

March 22, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: the thing about defining the community based on oppression is that like, none of us can even really compare our oppression to trans women/transfeminine ppl (and more specifically trans WOC). transmisogyny is significantly more oppressive and violent than any homophobia, biphobia, a-phobia, etc that cis people, regardless of sexuality, face. If a line is going to be drawn based on “how oppressed are you”, then it makes no sense to lump, idk, cis white gay guys in with twoc IMHO. Any non-cishet person who doesnt experience transmisogyny and tries to say that ace people arent oppressed enough to be in ‘the community’ is directly comparing their own oppression to that of trans women of color which is really inappropriate imho. IDK just my two cents on the matter. (re: this post) i get the point you’re making, but i’m not really comfortable with how it’s being made because…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016

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April 5, 2018
Q&A, Queer[ness]

Q&A not Q&A: “I think opression is a determining factors for the LGBT+ community…”

March 22, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: I think opression is a determining factors for the LGBT+ community, isnt the opression we shared what ended up bringing us together (re: this post) …this response started out short, but then it turned into me venting. sorry, anon. sure, for some it is a major– possibly even a determining– factor of their personal identity as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community. but like i said, imho, it isn’t the determining factor. even if one person does feel like it is the determining factor of their personal identity, it is a mistake to then assume that that holds true for everyone. not everyone’s identity is determined in part or entirely by their oppression. on top of that, oppression isn’t even something one can measure to determine whether someone is “oppressed enough” to have the right to identify as a part of the community. if someone was to try and measure…

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Vesper H.

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“the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”
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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
February 23, 2016
Q&A

Q&A: “I’ve seen some people claim the ace community is racist, transphobic, and that hetero-romantic and aromantic aces don’t belong in the LGBTQ+ community…”

March 20, 2016 / No Comments

anonymous said: So, I’ve seen some people claim the ace community is racist, transphobic, and that hetero-romantic and aromantic aces don’t belong in the LGBTQ+ community. I was wondering, do you think there’s racism in the ace community? I’ve never noticed any, but then I’m white, so that’s not rlly my call. I think maybe it has to do with the use of the term allosexual, which has been said to have racist and transphobic roots. What’s your opinion on “allosexual”, and do you think “het aces” shld be included in the LGBTQ+ community? there are racist (and transphobic) people everywhere and the ace community is no exception to that. however, there being racist (and transphobic) people in the ace community doesn’t make the entire community racist (or transphobic). that would be an overgeneralization. people have made the claim that the term allosexual is racist and/or transphobic, but i…

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Vesper H.

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Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”
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transphobia & non-binary erasure in Japanese media

March 17, 2016 / No Comments

on Twitter i live-tweet my frustrations with various things i see on Japanese TV, including how trans and non-binary celebs are treated. the downside to this is that tweets quickly get lost in my timeline and then it’s a pain in the ass to dig them back up if/when i want to reference them. this post is me digging up some of those tweets and putting them here for my own ease of reference and so others can see examples of transphobia & non-binary erasure in Japanese media.

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Vesper H.

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