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Queer As Cat

gender・ sexuality・ race ・intersectionality

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  • Home
  • About
    • About QAC
    • About Vesper
  • Photos
    • Instagram
    • Tokyo Rainbow Pride
      • 2014
      • 2015
      • 2016
      • 2017
      • 2018
  • Resources
    • Asexual POC Resources
    • #LGBTQIA in Japan
  • Contact

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  • Q&A

    Q&A: “I think I’m asexual, but my friends are all like “You should at least have had sex once to know that for sure!””

    October 30, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: So I think I’m asexual, but my friends are all like “You should at least have had sex once/masturbated once to know that for sure!” but the thing is I really think sex is gross. Like, I can’t even imagine having sex with someone and I already tried masturbating many times, but I never thought about it as something that gives you pleasure since I never had an orgasm or something like that. I just don’t know how to feel about all this or what to think. you do not need to have had sex or masturbated to know who you are. no one does. your friends are wrong. chances are that your friends knew who they were before they ever had sex or masturbated. they just knew. they obviously do not realize it, but they’re being hypocrites by holding you to a standard that they do not…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  Art[sy Fartsy],  Gender[queer],  Mental [Un]health,  Queer[ness]

    one day

    October 29, 2015 / No Comments

    doodled a thing about wanting to be (more) active in the LGBTQIA community, but depression getting in the way zzz…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 55 – Older Asexuals: Coming Out Later In Life | Questioning | Trauma

    October 23, 2016

    an example of intersectional acephobia if ever there was one…

    December 16, 2015

    QAC 75 – Questioning In Silence?: Identity | Self-Discovery | Stigma || Random Thoughts

    February 27, 2019
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “does agender not fall under the non-binary umbrella?”

    October 29, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: This is more of a clarification question. Usually I see articles and posts say non-binary, but sometimes I see agender intentionally separated, so does agender not fall under the non-binary umbrella? Thanks! it depends on who you ask. generally speaking, agender is usually included as part of the “non-binary umbrella” as a gender that is not binary. that said, some agender people define their identity as being non-participatory of gender as a social identity system or as genderless. because of that, they may choose to separate themselves and/or their identity from the non-binary umbrella/community because associating with the non-binary community: suggests that their identity as agender is a gender– a non-binary gender –rather then a complete lack of gender is participating in gender, which they do not want to do does that make sense…? ^^; the non-binary community at large tends to include agender people, but some agender people…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “What do u do if u have identified as exclusively homosexual for a long time but then u fall for one person of the opposite sex?”

    October 29, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: What do u do if u have identified as exclusively homosexual for a long time but then u fall for one person of the opposite sex? Are u still homosexual or does that one exception make u something else? in my humble opinion that is entirely up to you. some people do continue to identify as homosexual but with an exception. some identify as bisexual but with an inclination towards a certain gender(s). others identify as something else entirely. it’s entirely up to the person in question. being a non-binary person myself, i feel obligated to mention that if you do eventually enter into a relationship with someone of a different gender (there is no such thing as “the opposite” sex or gender given that there are more than two), it would be worth chatting about it with your partner. especially when it comes to trans or non-binary people,…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “[mom’s] been telling me is that if I really am trans, I would’ve known since I was little.”

    October 29, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I came out to my mom yesterday as trans, and I kind of regret it. all she’s been telling me is that if I really am trans, I would’ve known since I was little. she’s telling me it’s probably just a phase and that I need to talk to someone. she seems really set on it, as if it’s just a problem to be solved. she told me I’m probably having an identity crisis. I don’t know what to do anymore, and I feel invalid. was I really supposed to know from a young age? it very much sounds like your mom is currently struggling with denial and grief, which is really common when a child comes out to their parent(s). she’s basically projecting her own feelings onto you, desperately hoping that she’s right. she’s telling you the same things she’s telling herself in an attempt to cope…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016
  • Q&A

    Q&A and Q&A: “I just saw a long and intricate post explaining why het ace/aro people shouldn’t be in the LGBT community…”

    October 29, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: I just saw a long and intricate post explaining why het ace/aro people shouldn’t be in the LGBT community as the space just isn’t for them. In the end they explained that het ace/aro’s should be allies for LGBT and that’s just something they should accept. I don’t know… I’m feeling pretty deflated now and I’ve given up all hope on ace/aro people ever being accepted in this community. I also find it insulting that it came from an ace person. I feel sad and I don’t want to be asexual anymore. oh, anon. i’m really sorry that you came across a post like that. may i recommend blocking that person and any other people whom you see similar posts from as soon as you see the post, before even reading the post? please do whatever it takes to protect yourself from hurtful posts like that, even if…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • Q&A

    Q&A: “What are your thoughts on “passing” in the queer community?”

    October 27, 2015 / No Comments

    anonymous said: What are your thoughts on “passing” in the queer community? Mostly in terms of being mistaken for a heterosexual couple and if this actually gives people privileges that people in non-heterosexual seeming queer relationships don’t have.   sorry for taking so long to reply, anon! it’s been one hellava week…. i’ve said this before in reference to other “het-blahblahblah privilege” arguments that people make, but i’ll say it again because it equally applies to this. having one’s identity erased by society due to heteronormativity is not a privilege. i will shout this from the rooftops until the end of time. society literally assumes that e v e r y o n e is straight until “proven otherwise”, i don’t care if that person is a lesbian, gay, asexual or anything else. and yet, for some odd reason *cough*biphobia*cough* i don’t see people making the argument that a lesbian, for example, accesses “straight…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

    You May Also Like

    Feedback: “I just wanted to thank you for your post on the alterous vs platonic thing…”

    February 23, 2016

    “the ace community goes overboard with words?” i.e. word vomitted “nah”

    April 5, 2018
  • [A]sexuality,  Black[ness],  Queer[ness]

    Asexual POC Links Masterpost

    October 22, 2015 / No Comments

    in response to @queenieofaces‘ linkspam challenge, i thought i’d finally try to do something that i’d thought about doing for a while. that is, compile a list of resources in the form of links for/by/about asexual people of color (APOC). at present (10/23/2015) i’ve compiled nearly 100 links, but this list is still no where near comprehensive nor complete. parts of it still need to be organized better, which i hope to do in time. this post is the rebloggable version of this static page. going forward it will be that page that is updated rather than this post, so bookmark the page if you like. i’ll probably make smaller posts to make parts of this list more readably rebloggable in the coming days. please note that i in no way endorse nor agree with all of the opinions expressed in the linked content. i am linking the content regardless…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    them gay enbian feels

    October 16, 2016

    identity politics leave little room for agency; a thought.

    July 21, 2017

    QAC 16 – Asexuality and the LGBTQ Community

    September 9, 2013
  • [A]sexuality,  Queer[ness],  YouTube[r]

    QAC 41 – Am I Asexual? | Never Too Young To Know

    October 18, 2015 / No Comments

    too often young aces and young people who are questioning whether or not they’re on the ace spectrum get told that they’re “too young to know.” young aces have it hard, constantly having their feelings and identity invalidated not only by society but by their own friends and family members purely on the basis of their age. well, i’m here to tell you that society is wrong. young aces, you can never be too young to know who you are. this video is dedicated to you. it’s already Asexual Awareness Week here in Japan and i’m kicking it off with a video dedicated to young aces and young people who are questioning. i hope that you’ll find this video encouraging. i’ll be adding captions to this video within the next couple of days. edit: les sous-titres sont maintenant disponible en l’anglais et en français ! mille mercis à ZKL pour le…

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    QAC 54 – Confusing Gender Envy & Admiration with Attraction || Non-Binary | Asexual

    October 10, 2016

    *scribble scribble*

    September 15, 2016

    Burnt Out & Neurotic: The Toll of Blogging While Ace and Mentally Ill

    December 26, 2018
  • [Random] Thoughts,  Queer[ness]

    #SpiritDay2015

    October 15, 2015 / No Comments

    as a teacher i’ve seen and heard of a lot of bullying, especially here in Japan where, sadly, #SpiritDay isn’t even really a thing. even though none of my students will take notice of it, i’ll be wearing purple today in honor of #SpiritDay. ※ took it upon myself to edit some of GLAAD’s #SpiritDay images to make them more accurate about myself and included an illustration of some homophobic and transphobic things i’ve heard my students saying to each other.

    continue reading
    Vesper H.

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    ♫ 関取花「べつに」 / Hana Sekitori – “Betsu ni”

    December 18, 2016

    willpower, sweat, and tears

    January 30, 2020

    *scribble scribble*

    September 15, 2016
23456

VESPER H.

YouTuber & Blogger

Queer As Cat is the blog and YouTube channel of Vesper, an American expat currently living in Japan.
reoccurring topics include: #asexuality, #nonbinary, #queerness #blackness & #mentalhealth

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Recent Posts

  • literal “social distancing” from the ace community April 1, 2020
  • legalized weed in America: one of many chips on my Black shoulder March 7, 2020
  • willpower, sweat, and tears January 30, 2020
  • 🎬 QAC 79 – The Neverending Queer-y: My Queer Ace Journey || LGBT YouTube & COPPA January 4, 2020
  • #YouTubeIsOverParty: COPPA & The Hypocrisy of YouTube December 15, 2019

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